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Monday, December 20, 2010

Should You Ask God For A Sign This Christmas?

Stained glass window
It's the season of signs.  And the virgin birth is one of the greatest signs of all times – foretold over 700 years before the birth of Jesus.  So, how did this sign come about?  Did somebody ask for it?

Just the opposite.

Back in the 8th Century BC, when the virgin birth was foretold through the prophet Isaiah, God actually tells King Ahaz to ask for a sign.

Ask the Lord your God for a sign. (Isaiah 7:10-11)

Remarkably, Ahaz blows God off.

“I will not ask; I will not put the Lord to the test.” (Isaiah 7:12)

On its face, it sounds like a pretty good answer.  After all, who wants to test God?  Maybe we shouldn’t bother him by asking him for signs.

But deep down, Ahaz didn’t want a sign.  Underneath his pious answer, he was probably thinking, I don’t need to hear from God.  I already have it figured out.  I'm going to get out of this mess without God's help.

Let’s just say God wasn’t very happy with his response.  The prophet Isaiah scolds Ahaz, “Will you try the patience of my God also?” (v. 13b)

But God doesn’t stop there.  He goes on to reveal his master plan.  He tells Ahaz about the sign of all signs.

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. (v. 14)

But Ahaz misses it.  He acts against the counsel of Isaiah.  He strikes a deal with his enemies, the Assyrians.  They turn on him.  And history tells us that it costs him his kingdom.

All because he wouldn’t ask for a sign. 
The good news?  God doesn’t stop with Ahaz.  Some 700 years later, he brings the sign to pass through a young virgin.  With or without Ahaz, he continues his plan.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to be like Ahaz.   Maybe it's time to ask for a sign.

Why not ask God to show up this Christmas? 

Friday, December 17, 2010

Suffering From Holiday Guilt?

Something has gone terribly wrong.  Christmas – the sacred holiday that is supposed to celebrate freedom and grace --  has become poisoned with guilt.  And I’m not just talking about ordinary guilt.  I’m talking about deep-seeded, lingering guilt that keeps people up at night.

Here are a few recent examples.
  • A young mother won’t be enjoying Christmas morning with her husband and four children.  Why not?  Her mother-in-law insists on hosting Christmas Eve out of town.  Never mind that the children won’t be nestled in their beds when Santa is supposed to arrive!
  • Another mother just couldn’t find the time to make homemade Christmas cookies.  She buys some store-bought dough and her husband jabs “That’s what bad mommies do!”
  • A colleague in her 30’s finds herself still exchanging gifts with her adult cousins.  She suggests that, in lieu of gifts, they make a charitable donation in memory of their grandparents.  She is accused of trampling on family traditions and dishonoring the dead.
  • A child is crushed when he finds out that another boy in his class has given his teacher an almost-identical Christmas present. He is embarrassed and ashamed of his gift, especially since the other boy’s gift is much nicer.
  • A group of colleagues plan a Christmas lunch.  Only the “cool” people are invited, and the office nerd feels hurt and left out.  He vows to drop his unwelcoming colleagues from his Christmas card list next year!
I could go on.  And on. 

Is Christmas guilt getting the best of you this year?  If so, try replacing it with some holiday grace.  After all, Christmas is about salvation and freedom.  Start acting like it!

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Working Mom’s Guide To Saying Yes!

This post was supposed to be about saying NO!  After all, if you’re a working mom, the word no probably isn’t in your vocabulary. Most of us need to draw some serious boundaries.

So why on earth am I writing a post about saying yes? 

It’s simple.  We need to start saying yes first.  We need to start saying yes to the things that are really important.  

Ok, maybe it’s a bit more complicated than it sounds.  I’ll admit, I really don’t have this whole yes/no thing figured out.  But I do know that I’ve probably had it backwards.  And I don’t think I’m alone.

Most weeks, I let my schedule fill up with lots of “stuff.”  Most of this stuff is good -- ranging from work, school, activities, exercise – but at the end of the week I find myself asking, What did I really accomplish?

I’m not suggesting that my daily routine isn’t productive or worthy of my time.  I am suggesting it’s not always intentional.

And this holiday season – when my schedule typically blazes out of control – I want to be intentional.  So, how does this translate into saying yes? 

[Click here to continue reading at Work, Wife, Mom ... Life!]

Friday, December 10, 2010

Are You A Social Media Loner?

Most of my friends don’t blog.  Few of my family members use social media. My husband has vowed to never join Twitter or Facebook.  (And my kids are too young to participate!)

The result?  I’m a social media loner.

And those of us who are loners need to think through our options.

Option #1 Beg Your Family and Friends to Join You

You’re a constant nag.  You frequently beg your family and friends to join the blogging world.  You apply peer pressure and say things like “You don’t know what you’re missing out on!” and “When are you going to join the 21st Century?”

Option #2 Hide Your Social Media Use

Nagging hasn’t worked.  You’re tired of begging, so you simply act like you’re not a social media junkie.  You downplay (or hide) your online activity -- “I’m just finishing up some work again.  Me? Blogging again? Of course not!”

Option #3 Set Boundaries

Your family and friends think you’ve gone mad.  They’ve attempted an intervention.  So you set some serious boundaries.  You turn off your blog on the weekends.  You don’t Tweet at the dinner table.  And even though you miss out on a few posts, it’s worth the trade off.

Option #4 Live in Two Worlds

You’re comfortable in your social media skin.  Hey, it’s just another part of your life.  You let your family and friends know that, while they are welcome to join you, they will never be replaced by your online world.  You choose to lead an “integrated” life. 

Are you a social media loner?  If so, what are your coping mechanisms?

Have a good weekend!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Why I’m Just Saying “No”

It’s not in my nature to say “no.” 

But this is the time of year when something has to give.  When I can’t do everything I love to do.  When I have to set some serious boundaries.

What are some of the things I’m saying "no" to?

Here’s the short list:
  • I’m not spending time in shopping malls and check-out lines.
  • I'm not putting bows on my presents (wrapping is also optional).
  • I’m not making a business trip to New York this week (even though I really wanted to!).
  • I'm not going to be able to get my hair colored before Christmas.
  • I’m not in charge of my kids’ holiday parties at school (but I am planning to show up unannounced and empty-handed).
  • I’m not blogging as frequently this month (even though I really miss it!).
So, you might not hear as much from me in the coming weeks.  (Heck, I might even re-circulate some old blog posts from last Christmas and completely check out.)  Just please don’t take my short-term "no" as long-term disinterest. 

What are you saying "no" to this Christmas?

Monday, November 29, 2010

It's Time To Wake Up!

Tired Young Man

Do you still have that Thanksgiving hangover? The feeling like you ate too much, slept too much, and need to recharge your body and brain? 

Me too.  Fortunately, Advent has arrived – just in time to usher me out of my Tryptophan stupor.

Don’t get me wrong, Tryptophan  -- an essential amino acid found in turkey – isn’t all bad.  It helps your body produce the B-vitamin niacin, which, ­in turn, helps produce serotonin, a necessary chemical that acts as a calming agent in the brain and helps you sleep.

But if we’re not careful, some of us can sleep right through the holidays.  I think you know what I mean.

Let’s face it, December is already a dark month – the days are shorter, the leaves are dead, and the sun rarely peaks its head out of the clouds here in the Midwest.  Sure, the Christmas carols are playing, but it’s easy to walk through the shopping malls like zombies.  It’s easy to just go through the motions. 

This is where Advent comes in.  In my church, we started the first Sunday of Advent (yesterday) by talking about John the Baptist.

Who is John the Baptist?  To start, he’s Jesus’ first cousin.  A prophet.  A trailblazer. A wild man who ate honey and wild locusts.  A homeless guy who lived in the wilderness and said things like “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near!”

You might be asking yourself, What do I have in common with John the Baptist?  He sounds like a lunatic.

Maybe so, but stick with me.  God still uses wild men and woman to wake us up, especially when we’re walking around like spiritual zombies.  Sure, our 21st Century “wilderness” might look like check-out lines and traffic jams – but it’s still the wilderness. 

And John the Baptist knew a few things about living in the wilderness -- it’s like living forever in the month of December.  Day after day – everything is dead, the sun never shines, and it’s easier just to roll over and go back to sleep.  Like you’ve had too much Tryptophan.

But something is coming.  Someone is coming.  We don’t want to miss it, so we have to wake up.
 
It’s time to throw out the leftover turkey.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Last (In Line) Shall Be First

View of people waiting in line to pay at the grocery store
Do you really want to do something radical?  Do you want people to notice that you aren’t just another selfish person living for the moment?  Then let someone cut in line today.

Most people hate waiting in line.  Including me.  I’m one of those people who tries to “help” the person behind the register (even when there are five people in front of me) by offering to do a price check or suggesting that we call another department or open a new line. 

Waiting tends to get the best of me.  Especially when it’s unexpected. 

Last week, I dropped Nick off for his “make-up” piano lesson -- a 30-minute wait that I wasn’t looking forward to.  When we arrived, Nick no sooner sat down at the piano when another student (and another impatient mother) arrived.

The teacher had double-booked the slot!  And one of us would have to wait another 30 minutes for the lesson to start.

So, did I do the mature thing and offer to go second?  Not exactly.  Nick had already started playing and I thought to myself, It’s a good thing we got here first.

But the other mother started ranting and raving about how she had so many errands to run, and the teacher was doing his best to be fair.  So he said, “Let’s flip a coin, and the student who wins the toss can choose to go first or second.”

We couldn’t argue with the coin toss.

The teacher flipped the coin, and the other student won – fair and square.  Rats!  Nick and I would have to wait.  So the teacher turned to the student and said, “Would you like to go first?”

To our surprise, she looked at Nick and replied, “No, I’ll go second.” 

And then, her mother gave her the look of terror.  A look that said, What are you thinking?  A look that said, Can’t you see how busy I am?  A look that said, How stupid can you be?

This sweet child  -- who was more gracious than any of the adults involved -- was now both embarrassed and belittled.  And I was started to get this yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach.  So I walked over to the piano chair, grabbed Nick by the coat and took him outside to wait.

I turned to Nick and said, “Remember, the last shall be first and the first shall be last.”

He just smiled and said, “Let’s go to Starbucks, Mom.”

Monday, November 22, 2010

Is Nothing Really Something?

I love unexpected windows.  And I don’t just open them, I usually jump right through them.
What kind of windows am I talking about?  For the most part, it’s unplanned blocks of time that I didn’t anticipate.


A couple of weeks ago, I took the day off for “oral surgery.”  I was dreading the day for several reasons.  For the record, I really hate going to the dentist.  I also hate doing “nothing."  It would be a lost day – a big waste of time!

After an early surgery, I was surprised to be sitting at home at 9:30 a.m.  And I didn’t really feel that bad.  I was too drugged to work.  No clients were expecting me to return calls.  No kids were expecting me to take care of them.  Nobody had a single expectation on my time.  Not even me. 

Wow, an unexpected window.  A free day.  A day to do nothing.


But wait a minute.  I hate doing nothing!  I know, I know, I need to get with the program.  Nothing is in.  Even a recent Harvard Business Blog talks about the benefits of doing nothing.  But it still doesn't come easy for me.  Nothing is hard work.

It's one thing to enjoy an unexpected window when you have a clear head (and a working jaw).  It's another thing when you are stuck with an ice pack and a fat lip.

So, did I just sit and do nothing?  Of course not.  I was getting really bored, so I decided to go to lunch with Doug.  So what if I couldn’t eat – I’ve never been very good at following doctor’s orders, and I was starting to get hungry.  Plus, I had to make the most of my newly found commodity.  Time. 

But lunch didn't taste very good.  I thought about shopping, but my head was really spinning.  So I went home and sat in silence.  That's right, I did a little bit of nothing.  And it felt really good.  The day went incredibly slow.  And then it was over.  And then I asked myself where the time doing nothing had gone.

I’m the kind of person that never plans to do nothing.  But sometimes God gives me unexpected windows.  And then I’m reminded that nothing is really something.

Nothing is pure grace.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I’m Worried About Bob

Last week, I got a call from a friend who had just lost his job.  I’ll call him Bob.  I’m really worried about him.

I’ve had friends lose their jobs before – between lay-offs, terminations, and down-sizings – but this was different. 

Bob got blind-sighted.  And Bob lived for his job.

In fact, Bob gave up everything for his job.  His hobbies.  His marriage.  Even his health.  So you can imagine his state of utter and complete panic when he called to tell me he had just been fired.  What was I supposed to say?

Bob, I tried to tell you a year ago that your job was sucking the life out of you.


Bob, maybe you should get on your hands and knees and beg your wife to take you back.


Bob, I’m sure this all happened for a reason.  I’ll be praying for you.


Bob, you need to file a lawsuit.  I’ll find you a lawyer.


I just couldn’t find the right words.  So I listened.

Bob used to go to church on a regular basis, but I’m not real sure where his spiritual life is headed these days.  I hope and pray that his new-found circumstances will get him thinking.  What’s important?  What am I living for?  Is a job worth risking everything?


I still worry about Bob.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Would You Get Plastic Surgery?

View of a clear plastic tube and a gloved hand in an operating room

Would you get plastic surgery to advance your career?  That’s the question today on Working Mommy Wednesday.

This is an easy answer for me.

“No.”

Now, before you conclude that I’m a spiritual giant who is only interested in inner beauty (and believes plastic surgery is only for the vain and shallow people among us) think again.

My objection to plastic surgery has more to do with my aversion most types of medical procedures.  I can’t stand the sight of blood.  I don’t tolerate pain very well.  And most medication makes me ill.

The last time I stayed overnight in a hospital I tried to sneak out early.  The only problem?  I had a newborn with me, and it was pretty hard to keep her quiet.  So the nurses almost called security….

Sure, there are other reasons to avoid plastic surgery – like the time and money that could be better spent elsewhere (like on starving children across the world!) – but I really try not to judge other people who sign up for tummy tucks and liposuction.  After all, if I made a living on stage or in front of a camera I might feel differently. 

As much as I tell my daughters “God only cares about what you look like on the inside” the fact of the matter is we live in a society that is driven by appearances.  While our security and identity shouldn't rest on how we look, ever the research shows that appearances can affect the way people treat us (and even our ability to earn a living). 

If plastic surgery was cheap, fast, and easy I just might do it.  After all, I dye my hair on a regular basis and I’m not opposed to wrinkle cream.

What’s the difference?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

My Dad Turns 80 Today!

My dad turns 80 today.  So I decided to interview him right here on the blog.  Please leave him a comment and wish him a great day!

How does it feel to be 80?

(Long pause.)  When you say 80, that doesn’t mean much to me.  I think back on my life, and I’ve had a good life.  Many blessings.  A great family.  A wonderful family.  Years don’t mean anything to me.  I have had health struggles, but I don’t blame it on age.  I’m very happy with life. 

What are some of the biggest changes you’ve seen in your lifetime?

The speed of life today is frightening.  Everyone is in a big hurry.  Technology is great, but we have too much communication with the internet and TV.  Like when we watched the miners being rescued in Chile. Years ago, we would read about it a week later.
I am bothered by how people treat each other.  There is a loss of respect.  People have forgotten how to get along and live with other people.
There have also been a lot of good changes.  Living today is very comfortable compared to years ago. 

What was is like growing up in the Depression?

I always had something to eat.  I know that my mother and dad struggled a lot.  My mother struggled with health problems.  My dad had a hard time finding work.  I remember him going out and trying to do any kind of work – fixing a car or planting a tree.  Around the mid-30’s, my father found a job in the steel mill and things got better.  WWII created work – factories needed to supply tanks, planes, and ammunition to our Allies.  Things got pretty good then.

What’s the greatest lesson you learned from your parents?

My parents taught me that family was very important.  My parents and my grandparents were always pro-family.  I’ve tried to duplicate their way of living. 
My parents were always honest in their feelings and they loved each other.

Your parents were married almost 60 years and you’ve been married 54 years.  What’s the secret to a great marriage?

A great woman.

What are some of your most vivid memories?

Dating your mother.  After retiring, going places with my wife and traveling.  Doing things and going places we always dreamed about. 

If you could do it all over again, would you do anything differently?

I would make sure I had a college degree.  I wouldn’t have spent so much money on automobiles. 

You’re Navy veteran.  What does being a veteran mean to you? 

Being very proud that I spent time in the Navy.  Doing duty for my country.  I made 32 round trips across the Pacific.  We were taking troops to Korea and rotating troops to different islands during the Korean War.  The Navy gave me schooling opportunities – I chose weather forecasting school in Lakehurst, NJ.  Even today I can read weather maps and tell you what the weather is going to be like. 

What’s your greatest accomplishment?

We have five wonderful daughters who are all happily married.  My daughters are all different, but they are all special in their own ways.  We have 14 grandchildren.  They are all special in their own ways.  I’m very happy.  I think that God has blessed me richly with my wonderful wife and family. 

Is there anything you still wish you could do?

I wish I had the strength to play golf.  To walk on the beach.  To work in the yard.  To just to have the ability to get around.

What’s the best advice you can give to younger generations?

Be honest with yourself as well as others.  Know both your capabilities and your limits.  Make sure you diversity – don’t put everything in one basket.  Don’t forget God in your life.

How did your faith become stronger over the years?

I have to give a lot of credit to my wife.  She never gave up. 

Is there anything you would like to say to the blogging world?

Be very careful.  There’s people out there who are looking for others to make a mistake.  There are people out there who looking to criticize and misuse what you say. 

**********

Happy Birthday Dad, and thanks for a great interview!  (For more posts about my dad, see How An Old-Fashioned Father Father Raised Five Loyal Daughters and Thanks For Fighting Dad. )

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What Would Your Co-Workers Say About You?



When I first saw this prompt for Working Mommy Wednesday, I thought, Maybe I’ll just ask.  You know, I could send an email to my co-workers asking, “Just tell me what you think about me, so I can blog about it.”

But that wouldn’t be fair.  That would ruin all the fun.  So here goes.

My coworkers would probably say that I like being in charge.  I have specific ideas about how things should be done.  My way!  And, while I try to be open minded and listen to others, it can be pretty difficult to change my mind.  You have to be persuasive.  Expect some push back.

Another thing about me?  I can be a control freak.  While I’m all for delegation (because, if done right, it can involve me doing less work), I expect things to be done at a certain standard.  I have a passion for excellence.  And, while I’ve gotten much better at delegation over the last few years, I’m better at telling people what to do than showing them how to do it.  Training takes time and patience, and I’m not a teacher by nature.  I’m a doer.  So, unless you’re a mind reader, you’re probably not going to know exactly what I expect from you.  Sorry.

My co-workers would also say that I push the envelope.  A little too much.  I’m known to over commit and over book.  I work best under tight deadlines so I’m not going to focus on something unless I really need to.  But when I do become focused and get in “the zone”  I can be a little cranky.

Last but certainly not least, I really like to have fun at work.  And sometimes, when circumstances don’t cooperate, you have to make lemonade out of lemons.  (And then drink the entire pitcher!)  I have little tolerance for people who always see the glass half empty.

I hope my co-workers would say that I lead by example.  That I admit my mistakes.  That I’m willing to take one for the team, even if it’s at my own expense.

What do you think your co-workers would say about you?  (Maybe I need to just participate in one of those 360 evaluations and find out the truth!)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Are Online Relationships Real?

Teenage Girl Using Laptop


Remember when you were a kid, and you had imaginary friends?  Remember when grown-ups thought you were crazy?

That’s how I feel sometimes as a blogger.

Last week, I was speaking to a group of intelligent women, trying to explain some of the intangible benefits of my writing.

“The most incredible part of blogging is some of the new friends I’ve met.”

I went on to explain. “I consider many other bloggers dear friends.  Some of these friends encourage me on a daily basis.”

I noticed a few blank stares in the audience.

They must think I’m crazy.  Maybe I am!


After all, a year ago, I would have told me I was crazy.  You can’t have real relationships online, can you?  Relationships where people don’t actually meet in person.  Where people hide behind computer screens (where they can conveniently hide their faults and annoying personalities).

Other bloggers don’t smell.  They don’t show up at my doorstep unexpected.  They don’t put demands on my time.  They don’t ask me to help with carpool duty or bake cookies for the Election Day bake sale (yeah, I forgot to sign up again this year).

How can a relationship be real when it is completely on my terms?  When I’m the one in control? When it doesn’t involve sacrifice?

Maybe online relationships are imaginary after all.  After all, I can just turn them off with a power button.

But wait a minute.  Smelly or not, my online friendships have stretched me, that's for sure.  No one is pointing a gun to my head, yet I’m pushing myself to read other blogs, write encouraging comments, and even meet deadlines.  I’m not just pushing myself to write, I’m pushing myself to connect.  And while I probably started blogging in search of fans, the wonderful truth is that I’ve found some friends instead. 

And friends are worth it.  Online or not.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Young man jumping into lake

Yesterday, I received a really great email.  It was from a woman I had just met.  A woman who had just picked up a copy of Chasing Superwoman.

“Wow, I just read the first 20 pages and even though I don’t have small children and am not particularly religious, your writing is still talking to me!”

Why did this email mean so much? 

Here’s the quick background. 

This week, I attended a conference of women lawyers and spoke about Chasing Superwoman.  And I was pretty nervous.  What would my peers (and my client!) think about me when I opened up my soul?  Would they think I was too religious?  Even a Jesus freak?

For the record, women lawyers are a tough group.  (I know, I’m one of them.)  Which is why I was a little scared to share my story.  In fact, the woman who sent me the email told me straight up that she was initially reluctant to open my book – yeah, it seemed a little too “religious.”  (I was more than thrilled when she went on to say she didn’t find my writing to be preachy or judgmental – so she kept reading!)

Stepping out of your comfort zone usually involves some risk.  Even some uncertainty.  There’s no guarantee people will respond the way you want them to.  In fact, every time I put myself “out there” I usually have a few second thoughts.

Why don’t I just play it safe?  Why do I have to push the envelope?  What if it backfires?

I still have a lot to learn about stepping out of my comfort zone.  But one thing’s for sure.  It keeps life interesting, doesn’t it? 

In this case, I even made a new friend.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Is Ambition Bad?

I am on a conflicted journey with ambition.

There’s a part of me that likes being ambitious. I mean really ambitious. I want to be the best at everything. Work. Home. Relationships. Writing. Even play. There is a standard of excellence that inspires me, pushes me, and engages me. And that’s a good thing. Isn’t it?

Maybe not.

Sometimes I worry that being ambitious isn’t all that spiritual. So I look around me. Some of the most ambitious people I know don’t claim to follow Jesus. Some of them even think that Christians are misguided and uneducated. And I like being educated. At least I like it when people think I’m educated. So I worry some more. What am I supposed to do about this ambitious spirit of mine?

[Click here to continue reading at The High Calling]

Friday, October 29, 2010

Does God Care About Trick-or-Treat?

Jack-o-lantern and trick or treater walking through doorway

Does God care about Trick-or-Treat?

I happen to think he does.

No, this isn’t a post about whether Halloween is evil or whether God approves of Trick-or-Treat (I’ll save that for next year).

This post is about prayer.

I told my kids about a month ago that I would be gone for Trick-or-Treat.

“I’m so sorry guys, but Mom will be out of town for work.  I’ll try to plan around it next year.  Dad will take you around, and you’ll still have fun.”

They weren’t happy. (About this same time Nick announced that he was never going to be a lawyer – that he’d rather be a “stay-at-home dad, like Dad.”)

So Anna started to pray.  Every night, at bedtime, she would finish, “And please God, we pray that Mom will be at Trick-or-Treat.”

Talk about a guilt trip. 

I almost told her to stop praying about it.  The meeting had been scheduled for months.  It would never be cancelled.  Besides, there are more important things to be praying about.

Then, it happened.  For reasons completely outside of my control, my schedule changed.  And I found myself home for Trick-or-Treat last night.

I think I had more fun than the kids.  Our whole street lit up, and the evening turned into a block party.  We stayed up too late and ate too much candy. 

But my favorite thing about Trick-or-Treat wasn’t the neighbors, the fun, or the candy.

It was answered prayer.  

Who says God doesn't care about Trick-or-Treat?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What’s Your Major?

 

What was your college major?  And did you end up taking a different path? 

That's the question today on Working Mommy Wednesday.

I have a short answer and a long answer.

First, the short answer.

I majored in political science and minored in history.  And I loved every minute of it.  I could have stayed in college forever.  Which is why I didn’t get a real job after graduation.  Instead, I went to law school.  (And, for the record, law school isn’t nearly as fun as college.)  But I do love practicing law.

That was the short answer.

There’s also a longer answer – there’s more to the story.

I didn’t just major in political science in college.  I had something else up my sleeve.  Something more important.

In college, I majored in Jesus.

That’s right.  College was a defining moment for my spiritual journey.  I decided in college that I was going to follow a guy with long hair and sandals who said he was God.  A guy who walked the earth over 2000 years ago and gave his life for others.  A guy who claimed to raise from the dead.

I had always believed in Jesus.  But college is when I decided I was going to take him seriously.  He became my major for almost 4 years.

But that was almost 20 years ago.

If you looked at my life today, what would you say I am majoring in? 

Law?

Motherhood?

Writing?

The American Dream?

I’m not sure you would say I’m majoring in Jesus.  As much as I want to major in Jesus, life has become so complicated.  Most days, he gets crowded out by other demands.  Most days, he’s a minor – not a major.

***************

The fact of the matter is, we’re all majoring in something.

When people look at your life, what would they say is your major?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Are You Losing It?

Businessman with face pressed against wall, profile, close-up

Do you ever feel like you’re losing it?  If so, you're not alone.

Last week, I was getting ready for work when Anna pulled out a note in her back pack and exclaimed, “Mom, I didn’t know you were volunteering today!”

I didn’t know either.  I had apparently forgotten about helping out in second grade.

How am I going to swing this when I’m getting ready to go out of town?

Anna continued, “Mommy, I’m so excited for you to come to my class.  What time are you going to be there?”

I couldn’t say no.

“I’ll have to call your teacher, Anna.  It depends on what time she needs me.”

Anna was so excited she could hardly contain herself.  I headed into the office, trying to figure out how I was going to be two places at once.  I left Anna’s teacher an email.  I left her a voicemail.  I finally tracked down the school secretary and found out I needed to be there at 12:15 p.m. – right after lunch.

I had exactly two hours and thirty minutes to accomplish eight hours of work.

So I kicked into scary-high gear.  Scary-high gear doesn’t happen very often, but look out when it does.  Don’t get in my way.  Don’t interrupt me.  And don’t expect me to be rational. 

By 11:30, I was on fire (and running ahead of schedule).  I called a couple of co-workers to load several boxes of documents into my car and announced I would be back in the office in a few days.

The only problem?

I couldn’t find my car keys. 

So we looked everywhere.  A team of people helped me turn my office upside down.  We looked in the conference room.  The bathroom.  My secretary called security.  She next called the coffee shop in our building.  I looked in my car.

It was 11:50 a.m.  Still no keys.

I started to panic.

Anna is going to think I’ve forgotten about her.  I’m going to be late.  Quick, I need a car.  Somebody call a cab.  I need to get to the grade school.

Another lawyer-mom knew I was desperate and offered her keys.  I had to move fast.  I’ll deal with the boxes later.  I’ll just have to delay my trip.  Then, I heard a voice inside of me.  Check your purse again.

Right there.  Right in my purse, I found my car keys.

I looked at the blank stares around me, and I knew what my colleagues were thinking.  She’s officially losing it.

They were right.  I’m not afraid to admit when I’m losing it.  It only happens once or twice a year.  I’m not sure it’s preventable, so I’m not going to try to blog about any “lessons learned.”

Instead, I’d like hear how you know when you’re losing it.

Please tell me I’m not alone.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Is A Clean House Overrated?


I really hate to clean.  I can think of about a thousand other things I would like to do.  Like pulling out my eyelashes one by one.

Ok, maybe cleaning isn’t that bad.  Besides, my husband, Doug, is a clean freak.  He tends to keep our house in order.

Last week, I was talking to my Artist Sister, and I could tell she was really stressed out.  She has this showing coming up at the university where she works.   She said to me, “I really need to get painting.  I’m just not going to be able to clean the house this week!”

My response?  “Don’t worry about cleaning the house.  Have your husband do it.”

She started laughing over the phone.

Most guys don’t like to clean.  But not Doug.

As I was talking to her on the phone, I started coughing from the fumes.  Doug was cleaning the kitchen again.  He is obsessed with this all-purpose kitchen cleaner, and I keep saying to him, “Your going to kill us with all these chemicals!”  I even went out and bought the echo-friendly kitchen cleaner (the kind that's not supposed to kill you) but it still makes my nose burn.

I know.  I know.  I shouldn’t complain.  I should be thankful that he has such high standards.

You’re never going to convince me that “cleanliness is next to godliness” but I’m the first to admit it’s pretty nice to live in a clean house. 

What do you think, is a clean house overrated? 

Maybe the key is to have someone else do the cleaning.  Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What’s In Your Purse?

 

My purse is a mystery.

To start, I can never find it.  My girls are obsessed with my purse (I stopped counting how many tubes of lipstick have been destroyed by little people!) and I usually end up finding my purse in the most unusual places.  Like the bathtub.

I know.  I know.  I should just say NO!  “Hands off Mommy’s purse!”

But my girls are intrigued by the mystery.  So am I.  You never know what you’re going to find in my purse.
Just for kicks, I'll tell you what’s in my purse today.  I don’t even know yet.  Here goes:
  • Wallet
  • Blackberry
  • Lipstick
  • Old napkins from Panera
  • Chocolate wrappers (3 to be exact)
  • Business cards from people I’ve met on airplanes 
  • A granola bar
  • Receipts
  • Expired coupons
  • Post-it notes (including addresses of people I’ve met at book events; notes from a conference call I took on the road; and random ideas for blog posts)
  • A flash drive
  • Three pens, one pencil, and one highlighter
  • Part of a broken toy
There, that wasn’t so bad.

Are you brave enough to tell me what’s in your purse?  And, for the record, this post isn’t just for women.  I hear that “Man Purses” are the new rage!  (No, I can’t convince Doug to carry one.)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Cookies For Kids

Chocolate chip cookies

Before bed, my 4-year-old Abby prays, “Dear God, help all the kids in the world to have food, water, and cookies.”

Her older sister, Anna, interrupts her.

“Abby, you can’t pray for cookies.  All the kids in the world don’t have toothbrushes.  They’re going to get cavities!”

Abby is quick to respond.

Dear God, I pray that all the kids in the world would have toothbrushes.”

I try not to laugh.  I can almost see God smiling.

Have you ever been reluctant to ask God for something big, just because you think he can’t provide something little?

I think about this for awhile after I put Abby to bed.

Sometimes, I assume God won’t answer my prayers.  So I don’t even ask.  Or I ask for something that I know is within reach.  I make sure my prayers are “logical.”

But then I wonder, is faith really supposed to be logical?  Are we limiting God by settling for crumbs when he really wants to give us cookies?

So I picture all the children of the world eating cookies.  And it’s beautiful. 

You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.  Matt 17:20 (NLT)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

How Do You Deal With Workplace Stress?

 

Today, at Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re answering the following question:  What do you do when you get overwhelmed at work?

In other words, how do you handle workplace stress?

For me, workplace stress invokes three predictable coping strategies:  Coffee, Potty Mouth, and Prayer.

Coping mechanism #1:  Coffee.  Coffee is key.  And when I get stressed, more coffee is key.  I am known to run on caffeine and shear adrenaline for days.  Who said anything about regular nutrition and self care? 

I’ll be sitting in a meeting -- working on a tight deadline – and I’ll turn to my colleagues and say, “How would you like to step out and get some coffee?”

Coffee helps me think.

And it’s not just the coffee.  It’s the 5-minute walk out of the office.  It’s the fresh air.  It’s taking a moment to be human.

A coffee break helps me put things in perspective and get outside of the four walls of my office.

Coping mechanism #2:  Potty mouth.   As much as I hate to admit it, stress in my life invokes potty mouth.  And something about using strong language – calling it like it is – feels good in the moment. 

It’s a release.

The other day, a nameless opposing counsel was being extremely annoying.   And there were no PG words to describe his behavior (I looked hard for them – ok, maybe not that hard, but you get the point). 
Sometimes, you need to call a spade a spade.

I’m not saying it’s right.  It’s just my reality. 

Coping mechanism #3:  Prayer.  I’d like to say that I pray first, but I’d be lying.  When I’m at work, prayer is often at the bottom of the list. 

So when my caffeine and potty mouth aren’t working, I think to myself, Oh yeah, I guess I could pray about it, huh?

Why don’t I pray first?  I’m really not sure.  Maybe it’s because I think God doesn’t care about my work.  God, do you really want me to pray about document productions and jury verdicts?  Maybe it’s because I work in such a secular environment.  God, sometimes I just can’t see any evidence of spiritual activity around me.  Maybe it’s because I’m human.  God, I’m sorry I don’t come to you first, frankly I tend to forget.

Sometimes, workplace stress brings out the worst in me.  Other times, it brings out the best in me.  I’m guessing I’m not alone.

********

So, how do you deal with workplace stress?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Hate Mail

Two dogs in hallway, one with paw on letter

On Friday, we talked about Fan Mail.  It’s Monday. And Monday is a good time to tackle the hard issues.  So today we’re addressing a more difficult topic: hate mail. 

I’ve written about Dealing With Negative Feedback before.  But hate mail is different.  Hate mail isn’t constructive, it’s destructive.  It’s one thing to disagree with someone.  It’s another thing to tear them apart.

Every writer who says something slightly provocative or controversial is a target for hate mail.  And hate mail can come in many forms – including blog posts, anononoymous comments, emails, and letters.  Hate mail never intends to start a discussion.  The goal is to silence.

Let me give you a hypothetical. 

Hate-Mail Helen reads Chasing Superwoman, and she thinks I’m evil.  She posts on her blog that I’m an unfit mother, declares that I’m not a real “Christian” and she even attacks my children.

Should I respond?

As I see it, here are my options. 

1.  Ignore Helen.  I don’t have to engage.  Hate-Mail Helen probably just wants attention.  And she doesn’t want to have a dialogue.  So I shouldn’t respond.  Instead, I can seek support from people I respect and trust.  At the end of the day, I don’t answer to Helen. 

2.  Respond directly. I can also confront Helen. I can call her on the carpet – and I can even take an army of bloggers with me!  We can post thoughtful yet pointed comments on her blog.  Or I can write her a private email, explaining that I’m really not Evil Mommy (it was just a joke in the book), and she shouldn’t be so judgmental. 

3.  Respond indirectly.  Maybe I won’t post a comment on Helen’s blog.  Instead, I’ll write a few of my own posts to address Helen’s comments. I’ll talk about how deep my faith is, and how my kids are really well-adjusted and obedient (at least most of the time).  We can even poke some fun at Helen’s comments – just to show how silly they really are. 

4.  Write a response, but don’t send it.  This may be my favorite option.  The lawyer in me really wants to respond to Helen.  But I know there’s probably no point.  I know it’s wrong to strike back.  But I really want to have the last word.  I want to set the record straight, even if no one will read it.

I’ll have to admit, I really don’t like any of these options.  Probably because I really don’t like hate mail.

How would you respond to Hate-Mail Helen?

Friday, October 8, 2010

Fan Mail

USA, California, Los Angeles

Writers live for fan mail.  And even though we try not to exist for the approval of others, it sure feels good when someone says, “You’re a really great writer” or “You really helped me think about this in a new way.”
I have a folder that I keep of “fans” – people who have gone out of their way to encourage me on my writing journey.  Some of them I’ve never met.  Some of them I haven’t talked to in years.  But I consider them all dear friends.

Today, I thought I’d share about a special relationship I’ve developed with a woman named Linda.

Linda isn’t a blogger.  She isn’t a writer.  And she isn’t a working mom.

Linda is a devoted wife, mother, and grandma.  And her daughter-in-law works in a fast-paced career with small children.  So when she heard about Chasing Superwoman, she reached out to me and said, “I get it!  You have my full support!”

I met Linda at my first book signing in North Canton, Ohio.  And we became instant friends.  Linda sends me encouraging emails.  She prays for me.  And when I’m really struggling, I know I can reach out to Linda for support and say, “Help, I need a few extra prayers today!”

In fact, some days when I wonder – Why do I keep writing these posts? Who the heck is going to read this anyway? – I think about Linda.  Linda will read this.  Linda is listening.  Linda is cheering me on.
We all need a Linda, don’t we?

(If you’re thinking --Wow, this is really a touchy-feely post -- don’t worry.  We’ll be coming back to reality on Monday when we talk about hate mail.  Have a good weekend!)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Top Ten Reasons To Read I’m Outnumbered! (Plus, A Give-Away)

bookcover3
Today, on Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re sharing top ten lists.  And I couldn’t think of a better place to share the top ten reasons to read I’m Outnumbered! One Mom’s Lessons in the Lively Art of Raising Boys, by Laura Lee Groves.

1.  Laura is a fellow working mom.  As an English teacher and mother of four boys (that’s right four boys), Laura is a kindred spirit to busy, overworked mothers.
2.  The tone is spiritual yet realistic. I’m Outnumbered is written from a biblical perspective.  But I also didn’t find it to be overly preachy or unrealistic.  Laura acknowledges that no parents are perfect, and we all need God’s grace to get us through the journey. 
3.  Laura speaks from the heart.  In fact, Laura is pretty transparent and vulnerable about her own journey – including lessons learns and teachable moments.
4.  Nothing beats experience.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand getting parenting advice from people who haven’t been in the trenches.  (Like, “Gee, I read that you should ignore your child when he has a tantrum.”)  Laura speaks from a wealth of experience. 
5.  Laura offers lots of practical tips.  I’m Outnumbered doesn’t just give advice – it gives examples, resources, and creative parenting ideas.  (Yeah, it’s also a nice compliment to Chasing Superwoman, which by my own admission is more of a rant than an instruction manual.)
6.  Finally, a female voice about boys!  A handful of books have already been written about raising boys.  But few if any are from a female perspective.  (As someone who grew up with all sisters, I really need that female perspective!)
7.  Her sons actually contribute to the book.  One of my favorite parts of the book is where Laura’s sons provide first-hand insight.  (See Chapter 10 – A Word From The Boys.)  It’s one thing to talk about raising boys – but it’s another thing to actually hear from them directly!
8.  Help promote a new author.  This is Laura’s first book.  And first-time authors are always looking for creative ways to get the word out.  Once you read I’m Outnumbered, please consider passing it along to a friend or doing your own book review.
9.  We all need mentors.  I’m always looking for mentors on my parenting journey.  And I love connecting with moms I respect – especially when they’re a couple of steps ahead of me.  Laura is one of those moms!  Her blog is also a great source of encouragement. 
10.  I’ll send you a copy!  Last but certainly not least, I’d love to send you a copy.  By posting a comment on my blog before 5:00 p.m. Sunday, you can enter a drawing to win a free copy.  (Winners win be announced in the comment section of this post Sunday evening.)

Happy Wednesday, and thanks Laura for writing I’m Outnumbered!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Which Disciple Are You?

Just like there are different kinds of people, there are different kinds of disciples.  (For purposes of this post, I’m using the term “disciple” to refer to people who follow Jesus.)

Consider three different disciples who followed Jesus:  Peter, Thomas, and Phillip. 

We’ll start with Peter.  Peter is always jumping in head first.  He acts without thinking.  He’s extremely zealous, and because he’s impulsive by nature he makes lots of mistakes. 

Peter likes action.  He’s the guy (or gal) who thinks, Wow, walking on water looks pretty cool, I think I’ll give it a try.  But then he gets in over his head, loses sight of Jesus, and falls in.  At least none of us would accuse Peter of standing still.

Thomas, on the other hand, is slow to act.  You have to push Thomas into the water.  He doesn’t like to get wet.

In addition, Thomas has to see it to believe it.  And even when he sees it, it’s still so hard to believe.  Thomas is thoughtful and deliberate.  He’s not going to drink the Kool-Aid without reading the ingredients and doing some research.  Yet when Thomas is convinced, you know it’s for real.

Finally, Phillip has a completely different style all together.  Phillip isn’t afraid to experience his faith.  He longs to be in the middle of spiritual activity, and he tends to bring others along on his journey.  For Phillip, faith is relational.  He’s not afraid to jump in the water, but he might just take you with him. 

Most of us are some combination of Peter, Thomas, or Phillip.  When I first heard it explained this way, I thought, Which disciple am I?  Then I thought about my closest family and friends and thought,  Which disciple are they?  Then I immediately thought, Which disciple is the best?

I started to miss the point. 

Peter, Thomas, and Phillip all approached Jesus with unique backgrounds, strengths, and weaknesses.  Yes, we can learn from them.  But thank God they’re different.

Do any of them sound familiar? 

******

So, which disciple are you?

Friday, October 1, 2010

Join Me To Support Breast Cancer Research Today At Huffman’s Market

The books are ready.

My mother's sauce is cooking (click here for the recipe).

The gift bags are being prepared.

Yeah, and we also have a few surprises up our sleeves! 

But that’s not the best news. 

The best news is that 100% of the proceeds from book sales at Huffman’s Market today will go to support breast cancer research!

This October marks the 26th anniversary of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  And Tim and Glenda Huffman, together with Chasing Superwoman, are passionate about raising awareness and finding a cure!

It’s not about the books.  It’s not about the sauce.  It’s not about the olive oil or the wine.  It’s not even about the ice cream for kids.

Sure, we’re going to have lots of fun.  But we’re coming together for a bigger purpose!

So join me today at Huffman’s Market from 3:00 to 6:30 p.m.

What about those of you who are out of town?  Well, you’re part of this event too.  In fact, anyone who posts a comment on the blog between now and 6:00 a.m. Monday morning will be eligible for a drawing to win a copy of Chasing Superwoman or a gift from Huffman’s Market.  (Just make sure you indicate in your comment whether you would like to be in the drawing for the “book” or the “gift.")

See you later today.  We’ll be posting updates on Twitter throughout the evening!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Does Work Make You A Bad Mommy?

Today, on Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re answering a tough question:  Does your job make you a better or worse mother?

This question is so difficult that I’m not going to give you a straight answer.

My answer?  It depends.

Some days, I feel really good about work/life balance.  I enjoy my job tremendously, and when I come home from work to be with my kids I am more than ready to see them!  In fact, I can honestly say that I never get tired of being with them because I know each moment is precious.  My kids know how much I love to hang out with them.

I’ve talked to some of my working mom friends about this before, and we like to pat each other on the back and say things like, “Gosh, I’m more patient with my kids because I’m not with them all day,” or “I think my kids are better off with me working outside the home.”

I would be lying to you if I told you that this is the whole story. 

There’s always another side, isn’t there?

If I’m really honest, I have to admit that my job has the capacity to make me a worse mother.  To be less involved with my kids.  More distracted.  More impatient.  And more focused on what’s going on outside my home than what’s going on inside my home. 

And some days, I’m probably a worse mother because I’m a busy lawyer.

So I’m sticking to my initial answer:  It depends.

I’m just trying to be the person I’m created to be.  And, at this point in my life, that includes both a Lawyer and a Mommy!

Thank God for grace.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

We All Make Assumptions

I hate it when people make assumptions about me.

Like when I was standing in the check-out line several years ago– holding a newborn in one arm, unloading groceries, and chasing around two toddlers. An elderly woman watched me with doting eyes. She gave me a warm smile and said, “My, you are busy, aren’t you? I remember those days like they were yesterday.”

She started to help me with my groceries and we struck up a conversation. I learned that she had five grandchildren, and her granddaughter had curly hair just like my Anna. Then she said to me, “I know how hard it is being at home all day with them. You must feel like you never get a break.”

I replied, “Well, actually, I work full time as a lawyer. Most days, I don’t get to see them until after dinner.”

Her warm smile turned into a scowl. Then she gave me The Look. She didn’t have to say a word.

[Click here to continue reading at High Calling Blogs]

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Last Flight Out

Passenger plane flying ,low angle view

I was tired and cranky.  I was determined.  And I knew I had to make the last flight out.

The only problem?  There aren’t that many direct flights to my home town of Columbus, Ohio on a Saturday evening.  In fact, the only non-direct flight would get me home at 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning.  Assuming no airport delays, canceled flights, or late connections.

My husband, Doug, told me just to leave on Sunday morning.  “We’ll be fine without you.  What’s another night?  Why do you always have to kill yourself?”

Maybe he was right.  If I left Sunday, I could still be home by lunch.  I could even get some sleep.  And I wouldn’t be hanging out in connecting airports on a Saturday evening. 

But I couldn’t do it.  I needed to get home.

Why was I so determined?

Well, there are a couple of reasons.  First and foremost, I’m a mom.  I hadn’t seen my kids in five days, and I missed them.  Terribly.  I missed my philosophical discussions with Nick (right before bed, of course) and I missed Anna’s constant hugs and affection.  And, yes, I even missed Abby’s booming voice and her favorite words, “Daddy can do it.” 

And while I know the kids are “fine” without me, I still couldn’t wait to see them.  Plus, I missed Doug and knew he needed a break from full-time daddy duty.

The other reason I needed to get home?  Twelve preschoolers were expecting me on Sunday morning.  Sure, I could have arranged a substitute for my Sunday school class, but I wanted to be there.  Plus, some of these kids are just getting over their own separation anxiety.  They’re just getting to know me.  So the last thing they need is another new face on Sunday morning.

Have you ever just known you needed to get home? 

It’s Monday.  And I’m back to work.

But I’m so glad to be home.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Join Me For Family Meal Night At Huffman’s Market!

Do you ever have a hard time getting a family meal on the table?  Are you tired of your kids eating junk?  Do you get home from work and wonder, What am I going to feed everyone for dinner?

You’re not alone.

Today, at Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re answering the question:  “You know you’re a working mom when….”

In my world, I know I’m a working mom because I just can’t seem to get my act together to make everyone a healthy dinner.  And food is important to me.  I mean really important.

I grew up in a family that ate meals together.  Every night.  We weren’t allowed to miss dinner – but even more importantly, we didn’t want to miss dinner.  Dinner was sacred.

Besides the fact that we all loved my mother’s cooking, we also loved being together.  Family meals helped us connect and reconnect.  And the dinner table was always filled with drama and laughter.

So what’s a modern family to do?  Most moms today – whether or not they work outside the home – can’t spend hours during the week planning and preparing family meals.  And bulk cooking is great if you have the time, but sometimes I just can’t squeeze another minute out of my schedule.

The answer?  Chasing Superwoman and Huffman’s Family Meal Night!

Let me explain.  I’m teaming up with my neighbors, Tim and Glenda Huffman, to support the Ohio Grocer Association Parents’ Week at the Huffman’s Market.   (For those of you who live out of town, Huffman’s is our locally owned and operated grocery store.  And among other things, they specialize in affordable, nutritious, pre-made family meals.)

On Friday, October 1 from 3:00 to 6:30 p.m., we’ll be celebrating food, wine, and books at the Huffman’s Market.  I’ll be signing books, AND I’ll be making my mother’s homemade sauce (some of you have seen the recipe in the back of my book).

Most importantly, we’ll be having lots of fun.  I just can’t wait for this event!   Some of you know that my neighbors are a pretty wild bunch, so we’ll have lots of blogs to post and tweets to share.

What about my online friends who can’t come to the event?  Don’t worry, we’ll be doing something extra special on the blog for you next Friday.  So please come back on October 1!

Now, I have to get busy buying the ingredients for my sauce….

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Radical: Chapter Two

For those of you who are joining me, today I’m continuing the online discussion of Radical:  Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream.

First, a couple logistical points.  A few of you have asked me where and how to join the book club.  Just click here, and you’ll find Marla Taviano’s website and instructions.

Second, my current plan is to post every Tuesday, in schedule with the online book club.  The next month looks pretty hectic, so if I skip a week I’ll just pick up the following week.

Now, on to Chapter Two.

David Platt lays it on pretty thick in this chapter.  (Yeah, even a bit too thick for me.)

But I’ll start with the positive.  Chapter Two makes the point that God doesn’t need us, we need him.  I couldn’t agree more.

Platt explains that Christians on the other side of the world are risking their lives to meet in secret, simply because they hunger and thirst for God.  Yet the American church is more interested in programs, comfortable seats, and cool music.  In Platt’s words, many of us have reduced the costly sacrifice of Jesus to a sales pitch.  “Our attempt to reduce this gospel to a shrink-wrapped presentation that persuades someone to say to pray the right things back to us no longer seems appropriate.”  (p. 37)

Again, I couldn’t agree more.

Where Platt and I differ is in his statement that God “hates” sinners.  (p. 29)  First and foremost, I’m pretty sure I’m a sinner.  And I’m also pretty sure God doesn’t hate me.

According to John 3:16, God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son.  The love came first.  And according to Romans 5:8, God demonstrated his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.

Call me optimistic, but I still believe that God loves me and has a wonderful plan for my life.  I may be taking Platt too literally, but I’m a lawyer, remember?  We tend to get hung up on words. 

I also don’t think it’s a bad thing for Christians to be culturally relevant.  In fact, the Christian subculture often gets in the way of the gospel.  Many Americans walk away from church because they think, I’ve got to become some weirdo in order to be accepted here.  I’ve got to act a certain way, dress a certain way, and think a certain way. 

My fear is that folks who are looking for Jesus might just miss him in church. 

I do agree with Platt’s conclusion that the gospel is costly – it’s a gospel that calls us to “turn from our sin, to take up our cross, to dies to ourselves….” (p. 39)  It’s a gospel I fail to live out every day.  It’s a gospel that motivates me to keep at it – because of grace, not guilt!

Yes, Platt lays it on pretty thick in Chapter 2.  But he has my attention.

Does he have yours?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Visit Me At The High Calling

In case you missed it, I hope you’ll join me over at The High Calling. Click here to read my article, published just yesterday.

The article was inspired by a post I wrote this summer titled What Are We Working For?  Expanding upon the original post, I interviewed my colleague Peter to get his perspective on how music has made him an ever better lawyer.

Thanks much to Peter for being the subject of the article and allowing me to share his story.  I love it when writing brings my worlds of work and faith together!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Early Bird Or Night Owl?

Spotted Eagle Owl (Bubo Africanus), Natal, South Africa
Are you an early bird or a night owl?

You guessed it, I’m a night owl.  Sure, I can function early in the morning if I have to, but I’d much prefer the late evening – when my creative juices start flowing.

To tell you the truth, I’m sick and tired of all these people (you may be one of them!) who over-spiritualize the morning.  Some of them claim that all the “important” prayers and spiritual moments happen in the early morning.

Are they right?

I think not!

To prove my point, I’ll use the Apostle Paul as an example. 

Nick and I just finished reading the book of Acts, and for the very first time I noticed that Paul is known to pull all-nighters.  I’m not kidding.  According to Acts 20, he preached until midnight – which ended up turning into daybreak.  I can just picture him sitting around the kitchen table with the believers in Ephesus.  Some of them were probably thinking, “When is he going to shut up.  Doesn’t he want to get some sleep?”


I may be partial, but it seems to me that Paul was a night owl.  On another occasion, he even stayed up all night in prison – singing instead of sleeping!

Of course, those of you who rise early in the morning will probably claim that Jesus was known to be an early bird.  I can’t argue with that one.  Maybe the important point is that we need to come to God when we can give him our best – when he can have our full, undivided attention.

So when are you at your best?  Morning, noon, or night?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My Life In Pictures

 

Today, at Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re sharing our lives in pictures. 

Frankly, it’s often easier for me to describe things in words, so I thought this would be a nice change – sharing through pictures instead.  We’ll focus on a short tour of the last six months.

Sisters jumping!
 One of the most memorable moments of 2010 was spending the weekend with my four fabulous sisters in Utah, celebrating Amy’s 50th birthday (she’s the beauty in the green shirt). 
DSCN0188 Doug and I continue our family camping excursions, most recently to Lake Michigan.  (I wanted to put a picture up of Doug roasting marshmallows, but I’m not allowed to post pictures of him on the blog -- which is too bad, because he’s really cute.)

20091221-IMG_0001
Of course, I continue to work work work.  This picture shows me billing some hours in the office.  (Or maybe I'm blogging!)








Winter 2010 015 My parents continue to be my dearest friends and role models.  I’m especially proud of my dad for continuing to fight his disease and gaining new strength every day.  This is a picture of my parents with my kids, celebrating Nick’s first piano recital. 


Thanks for sharing a slice of my life today in pictures. 

We’ll go back to writing on Friday!

Radical: Chapter One

What am I doing posting on a Tuesday?  Didn’t I decide to cut back blogging to three days a week?

Good question.

Here’s the answer.  Today’s post is devoted to an online book club I’ve joined with almost 200 other readers.

The book?  Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream.

Does the title scare you?  It scares me.  A lot.

I really don’t know why I got into this book club right now.  It’s not like I need more to do.  It’s not like I don’t have enough to read.  And what’s wrong with the American dream anyway?

Let’s just say the first chapter lived up to the title.

In Chapter One, author David Platt challenges our spiritual presuppositions that “bigger is better.”  He points out, for example, that Jesus probably would have failed Marketing 101.  Case in point:  Jesus only had 120 followers at the end of his ministry.  And when new recruits inquired about joining him, he didn’t say, “come along for a fun ride” or “give me a trial run and you won’t be disappointed.” 

Instead, he said things like, “sell all your possessions” and “leave your homes.”  Some would say that he actually tried to talk people out of following him.

Obviously, the Christian church has grown leaps and bounds since those first 120 recruits.  But maybe, just maybe, those of us who claim to follow Jesus need to ask ourselves, who are we really following?

As Pratt asks, have we invented “[a] nice, middle-class, American Jesus?” (p.13)

Pratt goes so far as to say that maybe we’re not worshipping Jesus at all:

“We are molding Jesus into our image.  He is beginning to look a lot like us because, after all, that is who we are most comfortable with.  And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshipping the Jesus of the Bible.  Instead we may be worshipping ourselves.”  (Ibid.)

Ouch!

Want to join me next week for Chapter Two?

Monday, September 13, 2010

Do You Pray For Your Readers?

Man Standing on the Roadside

Those of us who write find ourselves praying for more readers.  After all, if you’re going to take the time to say something, you want lots of people to read it.  Right?

But is that really what we should be praying for?

The other night, I couldn’t sleep.  I was restless, but I wasn’t upset or worried about anything.  So I prayed, ok God, this is usually when you are trying to tell me something.  So what is it?

Then, in the midst of my fog, I heard God speak to my heart.

“Do you pray for your readers?”

Wow.  A light bulb went off.  I had been missing out on a golden opportunity – praying for the people who are reading this right here and right now.  Sure, more readers are great.  But what about the people who God has already put in my life? 

Sometimes, we're so busy thinking about what's next -- looking miles and miles down the road -- that God plops a stop sign right in front of us.  I'm known to drive a little too fast, so I'm thankful He goes out of his way to put the brakes on and get my attention.

If you’re reading this, please know that I’m praying for you.  I promise.  God told me to do it!

The next time you can’t sleep, ask God what He might be saying.  He might be trying to slow you down.  And you just might hear something.

Happy Monday!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Do You Have Hope?

A rainbow is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that causes a spectrum of light to appear in the sky when the Sun shines onto droplets of moisture in the Earths atmosphere. They take the form of a multi coloured arc, with red on the outer part of the arch and violet on the inner section of the arch.

We celebrated Labor Day this week, and I thought to myself, there are too many people out there who are dissatisfied with their work.  Some are unemployed.  Others are under-employed.  And still others are just pain miserable.

As someone who tremendously enjoys my chosen profession, my heart goes out to you if you’re in one of these ruts.  I can’t imagine what it must be like to wake up to a job every day that you hate, or to feel trapped in a cycle of unemployment.

But I do have one question for you.  Do you have hope?

To start, I’d like to share with you an amazing revelation that I learned last Sunday from Pastor EricIt’s the difference between wishing and hoping.

Often, we hear young children misuse the word hope and say things like, “I hope it wasn’t raining.”  What they mean to say is, “I wish it wasn’t raining.”

You see, hope and wish are quite different.

Wish – is focused on the present

Hope – is focused on the future

We all know lots of people who wish life was different.  They complain.  They bemoan.  A few of them seem content, but they usually seem uninspired.  Like they’re not looking forward to anything.

How many people do you really know who have hope?  People who aren’t beaten down by other people or circumstances.  People who live in the present, but eagerly look toward the future with anticipation.  People who know that tomorrow will be better.

Are you wishful or hopeful

Yes, even though I work in a career I enjoy, I’m thankful that I have a greater hope.  So while I wish that the economy was doing better this year, I continue to have hope in the future.  I’m just glad my eternal 401K isn’t dependant on the stock market.

****************

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for.  Were you hoping to win that Starbucks card? 

Congratulations Michelle DeRusha, and have a good weekend all!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Starbucks Give-Away For Coffee Snobs Only!

Coffee cup with spoon on napkin

Are you a coffee snob?  Are you high maintenance?  If the answer to either of these questions is yes, you’ve come to the right place.

Today, at Working Mommy Wednesday, we're talking about the "must haves" to get us through the day.


For me, my two "must haves" are coffee and prayer.

I'll talk about prayer another day.  Today, let's talk about coffee.

It’s no secret that I love my coffee.  Not just any coffee.  I like the good stuff.  Some of you know that I gave up coffee for Lent last year.  And it nearly killed me!

When Doug and I go camping with the kids, we bring our own coffee pot and Starbucks.  You guessed it, I’m a high maintenance camper.  I realize Starbucks and camping don’t go together for most people, but I like to break stereotypes. 

So you can imagine how frazzled I was on our last camping trip when we ran out of our coffee!  I went over to the “camp store” to buy a cup, thinking I would just have to suck it up and drink the cheap stuff.  I took a sip and thought I was drinking water.  I nearly choked.  In a complete panic, I headed to town, relieved to find the local Starbucks.

Maybe I sound like a total snob.  I'm sorry.  I can do without a shower and some basic hygiene every now and then, but please don’t ask me to drink yucky coffee.

If you’re a coffee snob or you just love coffee, please let me know.  Everyone who leaves a comment on this post will enter a drawing for a Starbuck’s gift card.  Winners will be announced on Friday. 

(By the way, I don't know about you, but these four-day weeks require extra coffee.  I'm traveling this week, so please forgive me if I don't respond to your comments until tomorrow!)



Monday, September 6, 2010

Happy Labor Day!

Labor Day with American flag

What are your plans for Labor Day?  Today, I’ll be hanging out with the kids, having a lemonade stand, and spending my day at the Upper Arlington Labor Day Arts Festival.

And I won’t be working.  Well, almost not working.

I’ll be doing an interview on News Talk 610 WTBN at 3:15 p.m. talking about the legal implications of social media in the workplace.  Join me if you’re free!

Have I mentioned that Doug is golfing today?  Which means I will have the kids during the media interview.  I might send them over to the neighbors, but if history is any indication they’ll be right under my feet!  Which means I’ll have to use duck tape to keep them quiet.  (Just kidding.)  If you happen to hear some laughing in the background, you’ll just know we’re having fun.

Have fun today, ok?  See you on Wednesday.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Should Bedtime Prayers Be Serious?

PALMDALE, CA - JULY 27:  The Big Dipper constellation shines over the California Aqueduct, which carries water hundreds of miles from northern California to the state's southern cities, in the desert on July 27, 2005 east of Palmdale, California. California's demand for water will jump by 40 percent over the next 25 years according to a study released this week by the Public Policy Institute of California. Half of all the water used by inland homeowners, where growth is booming, goes to irrigating yards, compared to one third or less in the cooler coastal regions.  (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)


My favorite time of day is bedtime prayers.  I love to spend time with my kids, talk about our days, and hear their thoughts and concerns.

The only problem?

We can’t seem to get serious.  And it’s getting worse.

On a school night, we try to head to bed by 8:30 p.m.  I always start with Anna and Abby, since they usually sleep together.  We read a few books, and by about 8:50 p.m. it’s time to say prayers.

I start off praying and try to be spiritual.  But Abby is known to interrupt me.

“Dear God, I pray that Anna’s breath won’t smell.”

My girls start laughing hysterically.  Nick hears them, and he comes in to join us.  I yell at everyone and say,

“We’re talking to God.  This is important!  Let’s get serious!”

Abby gets defensive and exclaims, “It’s Anna’s fault.  She was touching my armpits!”

They start laughing hysterically again.  Nick is laughing so hard that I think he’s going to pee his pants, and I think to myself, When am I ever going to get these kids to sleep!


Usually, when I’m almost ready to give up, I can count on Anna to wrap us up with some substance.
 
“God, please heal Grandpap.  Help Haiti and Chile to feel better.  Help everyone in the world to find food and water and all the children to find moms and dads.  And wash away the sin from our hearts.”

At least someone has been paying attention.
 
Some nights, I feel like just letting them laugh.  I wonder if God enjoys their laughter.  Does He expect them to be serious when they pray?  Should I?