Marketing 101: Know Yourself. Be Yourself. Stop Whining.

How do you best market yourself as a writer (and a person)?

In one short post, I’m going to share my playbook.  I’m linking up with Rachelle Gardner and my fellow colleagues at WordServe Literary to give away some unsolicited marketing secrets.

Don’t read this post if you are looking for a shortcut to building a platform.  I don’t have one.  And please don’t read this if you’re looking for time-saving secrets on social media, online communities, or networking with other bloggers.  Sorry.  I don’t have easy answers.  While I engage in all of these strategies, I’d like to share a different perspective.

Know yourself.  Be yourself.  Stop whining.

1)  Know Yourself.

You want practical advice, not a soap box.  Right?  I get it.  So here’s how “knowing myself” has worked so far.

First, I know my limitations.  I have no time to waste.  I’m a too-busy lawyer with three small kids and a husband who already thinks I’m stretched 100 ways too many.  Does this stop me?  Of course not.  I just have to make choices. 

• I shoot for quality, not quantity.  I choose to connect with other writers and readers that are like-minded – people who inspire and sharpen me, regardless of what they can “do” for me.  And while I’m not making the biggest splash around, it’s been incredibility meaningful.  Meaning motivates me.
• I hang out on Twitter because it’s fun and efficient.  Of all the social media vehicles, I like Twitter the best.  It’s fast, fun, and incredibly efficient.  I’ve been on Twitter for less than a year, and it’s hands down driven more traffic to my blog than any other source. 
• I’ve joined one online community, and I’m committed.  About a year ago, I joined The High Calling as a contributing editor.  I guess you could say it’s part of my marketing plan, but that’s not why I do it.  I feel at home there.  It’s a place I’d hang out even if I bagged the whole writing scene.  
• I’m in it for the long haul.  There’s no quick fix.  I know that my personal platform is going to happen brick by brick.  I’m not looking for quick results, just measurable progress over time. 

2)  Be Yourself. 

Now, you may wonder what this has to do with marketing.  Stick with me, it’s a fair question.

When I was a young trial lawyer, an old pro pulled me aside (come to think of it, I think he smacked me over the head) and gave me some key advice.

“Always be yourself in front of the jury.  If you act fake, they can see right through it.”

Pretty good, huh?

I happen to think readers are a lot like jurors.  So in this world of marketing madness on steroids, I’ve decided to just be me.  I just can’t fake the whole networking thing.  If I went around leaving random comments on blogs that said, “Please follow me and I’ll follow you back” I think I would shoot myself.  (I don’t do auto messages either.)

The good news?  If I’m networking with you, it means I actually like you.  I'm not faking it.

Besides, being myself is the one thing I can do better than anybody else.  (You probably have that same gift.)

3)  Quit Whining.

Writers love to whine (present company especially included).  We have it so hard, don’t we?

Lisa doesn’t work outside her home.  Of course, she has all the time in the world to market and network.

Terry developed a platform because he has a big endorser.  It must be nice.  I don’t know anyone important.

Marketing isn’t what I signed up for.  I just want to write, ok? 

I’m an artist!  Marketing is beneath me.

Excuses, excuses.  Does this sound familiar?

Look, we all know that marketing doesn’t drive us to write.  Writing drives us to market.   You may think marketing is just a necessary evil (or just plain evil) but if you are passionate about getting your message out to other people, you’re going to have to sell yourself to an audience. 

So stop whining and get to work!

Yeah, the work involves things like blogging and networking – the things I already told you I haven’t mastered.  But if you set your mindset first – know yourself, be yourself, and quit whining – it might not be as tough as you think.

It’s actually tougher!

[If you care to continue the discussion on all things writing, please join me and my WordServe colleagues daily at the WordServe Water Cooler.  I'm thrilled to be part of this newly-launched community of talented writers.]

Tuesday Tip: Dealing With Negative Feedback

If you write (and you decide to go public), you’re going to get your share of reactions.  Some of them will be good.  And, as I’ve recently learned, some of them will be not so good.

Most of us are pretty good at dealing with positive feedback.  But negative feedback?  Not so much.  As much as we say it doesn’t matter, negative comments always hurt – especially when they’re personal.

So, from a first-time author who’s only had one book released for a month, here are 10 tips I’ve learned so far.

1.  It goes with the territory.  If you are going to write a book, expect it.  No one is exempt from criticism.  (And, if people are talking about your book, at least they’re reading it!)

2.  Consider the source.  Who is making the comment?  Is it a random blogger who doesn’t even have an identifiable profile?  Is it someone outside your target audience?  Or, is it a credible voice in the writing community, or a leader from an audience you intend to reach?

3.  Don’t strike back.  As tempting as it is to respond to every comment, don’t.  In most cases, it’s not worth trying to “set the record straight.”  Especially if the attacks are personal, resist the temptation to join the mud-slinging.

4.  Learn from it.  Is the comment valid?  Does it present a common message or theme?  If so, you can become a better person (and a better writer) by taking the comment to heart. 

5.  Seek wisdom.  Talk to the friends and colleagues you respect in the writing community.  After all, when you’re in the midst of receiving criticism, it’s hard to be objective.  Sometimes, you need a lens.  In my case, I went to Rachelle Gardner, who gave me some great insights, as well as some helpful posts.

6.  Seek support.  In addition to seeking wisdom from those in the writing world, we all need our family and friends – especially those outside the writing world – to keep us sane.  My niece, Laura, wrote me a prayer last week that I will hold dear forever.  And my girlfriends will gladly take my side on just about anything!

7.  Don’t take it personally.  Usually, those criticizing you don’t know you.  Take the constructive feedback, and leave the personal attacks at the door.  And, as several wise friends have reminded me, God alone knows your heart. 

8.  Find the silver lining. I was putting my 9-year-old son, Nick, to bed last week, and I told him that a few women who read the book had attacked my busy lifestyle—questioning whether I could really be a good mother.  He said, “wow, that’s really mean.”  But then he said, “I think they are giving you a compliment.  What they’re really saying is that they know they have it easier than you.”  (See Romans 8:28.)

9.  You can’t please everyone.  Everyone isn’t going to like your book.  Everyone isn’t going to like you.  As writers, our goal in life should not be to please everyone.  Can you think of a single writer you respect who has both intended and succeeded to be a universal people pleaser?  Even if it you wanted to achieve this goal, it’s not possible.

10.  Numbers 1-9 are easier said than done.  As much as my head knows that the above tips are true, my heart still wants to wallow in self-protection and even a little pity.  I know full well that I can only respond to criticism through the grace of God – with much patience, prayer, and practice.  The fact is, I’m not very good at it, but I’m getting better. 

Please help me refine my tips -- I have a feeling I’m going to get to practice these tips over and over again!

How do you deal with negative feedback?

(After writing this post, I continued to find more helpful tips -- such as a post by Laura Boggess, Wanted:  Friendly Reader, at High Calling Blogs.)

The Final Countdown

Tomorrow is the big day!  Chasing Superwoman hits the market.   Above is a picture of me, holding my first copy.  It's a great feeling, and I can't thank you enough for sharing this journey with me.

Have a great Memorial Day!

Tuesday Tip: Freaking Out Is Normal

I have to admit it, the last few weeks, I’ve hit the tipping point.   I’m overwhelmed.   To be perfectly honest, I’m completely and totally freaked out.

Why?

Well, to start.  I’m realizing my dream – and I don’t want to blow it.  I’ve wanted to publish a book since the third grade.  And, I’m doing it.  June 1 will be here in one short week.  I have this sick feeling in my stomach.  It’s like being 10 years old and having butterflies before my piano recital, only worse.

A year ago, I wondered when I would ever get a publishing date from Cook.  Six months ago, June 1 seemed like an eternity.  But not now.  Believe it or not, I want more time.  I’m just not ready.

There is so much more I need to do.  I had intended to visit more bookstores, join Twitter, write letters, and contact friends of friends and influencers of influencers.  Then I got busy.  Spring arrived.  The kids’ schedules got crazy.  I overcommitted and underestimated.  Things at work became more demanding than usual.

I said to Doug last week, “I just can’t do it all. There aren’t enough hours in a day.”

He replied, “I know. That’s what your book is about, remember?”

I really hate it when he's right. 

So I emailed my agent, Rachelle.  After all, she’s seen first-time authors in action before.  Maybe she could even give me some tips so I wouldn’t freak out.

Her response?  Freaking out is normal.  It’s even healthy.  In fact, she said she would be worried about me if I wasn’t freaking out.

Thank God it’s ok to freak out. 

When I look back over the important decisions in life – getting married, having kids, settling into a career – I’ve never been truly “ready.”  The unknown frankly scares me, and I freak out when I don’t have control.
Freaking out also has a way of bringing me to my knees.  After all, who needs God when you already have things under control?

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.  2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

Ten Ways To Help Promote Chasing Superwoman

I'm blessed with friends and family who want to help.  They don’t blog, and they know nothing about the publishing process.  But they really want to get involved in promoting Chasing Superwoman.  After all, they’ve lived this journey with me.  In addition, I’ve met lots of great bloggers and have even gotten emails from complete strangers who want to get involved.

First and foremost, you can’t believe how grateful I am for the support.  Thanks for asking.  I’m one of those people who is reluctant to ask for help, but the truth is, I really need all of you.

So, if you want to be involved, here are 10 things to consider (and please take all of this with a grain of salt – I’m a first-time author, remember?):

1.  Keep reading.  Thanks for reading.  I’ll try to put updates about my marketing activities, book signings, and other events right here on the blog. 

2.  Tell your friends.  Please tell your friends about Chasing Superwoman.  Send them a link to the blog, Amazon, or any other site (such as Scribd.com where they can read the first chapter online).

3.  Do a review on Amazon.  If you decide to buy the book on Amazon, please write a review.  Your words are powerful!

4.  Ask your local bookstore to order or stock.  Ask your local bookstore to order or stock Chasing Superwoman.   I’ll be circulating a list of stores who will carry copies, such as Borders and Family Christian Stores.  In fact, we’re doing a book-signing at Borders on July 11, from 3:00 – 5:00 p.m..  Please join us! (Columbus, Ohio – Henderson Road location.)

5.  Send me a list of your friends and influencers.  If you don’t know what to say (or don’t have the time or energy), please send me a list of your friends and contacts who may be interested in hearing more about Chasing Superwoman.

6.  Give me feedback.  Please give me your feedback about the blog, the book, or anything else.  For example, I have a friend who reads the blog every morning to help me catch typos – and I buy him lunch for every typo he catches!

7.  Join the blog tour.  My publisher will be organizing a blog tour next month.  If you’re a blogger and you want to get involved, please let me know and I’ll send you the details. 

8.  Become a Facebook Fan or a Blog Follower.  You can become a Fan right on Facebook.  And I just added a “Follower” button to my blog last week, so you can publically support and flow the blog.

9.  Suggest new material.  I’m going to keep writing.  So if you have ideas for new material, let me know.  My post later this week Are Showers Overrated? is actually at the request of my sister!

10.  Pray.  Please don’t feel like you have to do anything to support me.  But if I can ask for one thing (pretty please), I’d really appreciate your prayers.  The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16 (NLT)

Thanks for everything.  June 1 is next week!

My First Critic

Writers need to have tough skin.  After all, why write unless it’s going to spark some discussion.  Disagreement is a good thing.  Not everyone is going to like my book.  Right?

Of course.  I fully expect receiving my share of criticism.  After all, I’ve put myself out there.  I mean really out there.  But I’d be lying if I said I was fully prepared.  Rejection always hurts.

Last week, I receive the first copy of Chasing Superwoman.  No, it’s not for sale until June 1, but it’s customary to send the first copy to the author.  So when I got home from work last week and saw the package from Cook, I opened it with much anticipation and finally held the first copy in my hand.  As you know, I love firsts.

Nick immediately wanted to be the first to read it.  What a great idea, I thought to myself.  My son is going to be my first fan.  Even though Nick is only 9, he reads 3-4 books a week and keeps our local library in business. 

So Nick settled in and started to read, and I went upstairs to change my clothes.  I left Nick completely alone with the book, eager for his reaction.

About an hour later, I found Nick reading.  Another book.  So I asked him, “Nick, what did you think?”

He responded, “I didn’t really like it.”

“Did you make it past the first chapter,” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Are you going to trying reading it another time?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Mom, I’m 9 years old.  The book is for the average working mom.  I just don’t like it.”

Silence.

My first critic happens to be my own son.  Gee, I can’t wait to see who reads it next.  Yeah, I know he’s only 9, and I shouldn’t take it personally.  Plus, he’s just preparing me for the hard core critics.  Right?

Pregnant, Again?

Now that I have your attention, I’m not pregnant.  Well, not exactly.  I’m not pregnant with child.  (Doug has made it loud and clear he’s not planning on #4.)

But I am pregnant in a different sense.  I’m waiting for my first book to be published.  I guess you could say I’m in my last trimester of the publishing process.

This baby was conceived a long time ago.  In fact, I’m done writing.  At this point, I’m just waiting on a final proofread, endorsements, and then we’re off to the printer sometime in late March.

When is my due date?  It’s set for June 2010.  Sure, I have high hopes that everything is on schedule, that there will be no complications, and it will be a smooth delivery, but having been through childbirth a few times before, I’m prepared for just about anything.

Just like the last trimester of pregnancy, I’ll have to admit I’m really nervous.  I really don’t know what to expect.  What if nobody likes Chasing Superwoman?  Every time I read the manuscript, I want to tweak it just a bit more, but once it’s out of the womb there’s no turning back.

For now, I just have to wait (something I’m not very good at).   I can’t thank you enough for waiting with me.  Have you ever been pregnant with anticipation?  How do you stand the wait?

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

How I Got Published - Part 4 (The Editing Process)

Like everything else about writing a book, the editing process takes time and work.

Step One:  Write.  The first step, not surprisingly, is to write.  I signed a publishing contract in December 2008 that gave me until June 2009 to deliver a first manuscript.  Even though over half of my manuscript was written in December, it’s always a challenge to finish a book.

Step Two:  Collaborate.  This is where your editor comes in.  Rather than waiting for feedback until June, I collaborated with my editor, Susan, much earlier.  She gave me her big picture thoughts about the book, and I shared my vision for completion.  We tried to wrestle with some of the tough questions up front, like How can we make my writing more universal?  Are there too many stories about my own family?  Will my audience be able to relate to Lady Lawyer?  If your editor has the time, I’m a firm believer in early collaboration.

Step Three:  Back and forth.  After June 2009, Susan and I both worked heavily on the manuscript, passing it back and forth.  The wonderful thing about working with a skilled editor is she will make your work better and sharper.  When I think about Susan, I think about Proverbs 27:17:   “Iron sharpens iron, so one [woman] sharpens another.”  A good editor will provide solid criticism.  This chapter has no take away.  This story doesn’t belong in the book.  This part is too redundant.  Susan and I went back and forth – line by line – until we were both satisfied with the content.

Step Four:  Copyedit.   Once Susan and I were done editing, she passed the book to the copyeditors.  These are the master proofreaders!   They also gave the content a fresh read and caught inconsistencies.  Presently, the manuscript continues to go through several sets of proofreading until it’s ready to go to print.  (This is where we’re at right now.  Printing is set for late March 2010.)

That’s the editing process in a nutshell.  The most difficult part of editing can be opening yourself up to criticism.  For me, this wasn’t anything new (I’ve worked in a large law firm for 15 years) but I can imagine that constructive criticism is probably tough for most writers (especially the Lone Ranger types).  In the end, two heads are better than one – that’s the beauty of editing!

How I Got Published – Part 3 (On To The Publishers)

When we finally went to the publishers, I’ll have to admit I was really nervous.  I already knew too well that lack of platform was a strike against me.  My agent had already warned me of the likely reactions.
 
Not another non-fiction book with no platform.
 
Without even a toe in the door on platform, we really can’t even consider it.

I knew that I would keep writing and finish the book, even if no one wanted to publish it.  And that’s just what I did.  While Rachelle was sending out my proposal and talking with publishers, I kept writing.  For one, it kept me sane.  Plus, it helped me to remember why I had felt so passionately about the book in the first place.  It was a labor of love, not money or opportunity. 

I was prepared for the worst.  I was also glad we had waited.  The proposal was so much stronger with WorldServe’s input and edits, and we had even switched up a few of my sample chapters, adding more recent text that better captured the theme of the book.  If all else failed, I felt like I had done my best.  I’m the one who always tells my kids, “All God asks us is that we do our best.”  Now I just had to live it.

After Rachelle submitted the proposal to a first round of publishers, we had a good sense of who was interested and who wasn’t.   And we got some incredible feedback.  Even some of the large publishing houses that couldn’t overcome my lack of platform liked my writing.  I remember one editor commenting that my writing was compelling, but how on earth would I ever find time to promote my book?

It was a good question, but I took offense to it at the time.  Again, I was being punished for being a busy working mother.  People just assume we can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.  (I’m one of those people who believes that the busiest 10% of people in the world are the folks you call when you need to get something done.)

There was one publishing house that we had our eye on from the start, David C. Cook.  They were incredibly enthusiastic from the initial proposal, gave immediate feedback, and let us know when the publishing board would be meeting to make a firm decision.  I continued to pray and thought, “this might really be it.”  I thought I was dreaming when they offered me a publishing contract.  (No, I didn’t receive a large advance and the lawyer in me couldn’t help but propose edits to the contract, but when you’re a first-time author with no platform, you quickly learn to sign on the dotted line!)

I’m so grateful the team at Cook took a chance on a first-time author, and I know that together we’ll build a platform for working mothers of faith who really need to know they’re not alone inside the church.  (And for working mothers outside the church, I pray that we’ll build understanding that the doors of the church are open with grace, not closed with judgment.) 

It was late 2008, and I was more than thankful to have a publisher.  Surely, by the end of 2009, my book would be published, right?  Well, almost.  As I would learn, editing takes time.  And the editing process was yet another adventure.

Eight Years And Counting….

Out with the old and in with the new.  The holiday musings and love fests are over.  It’s time to get serious, move on, and get on with a new year.  It’s 2010, and it’s time to publish Chasing Superwoman.

Publishing a book has been on my “to do” list for about eight years.  (No kidding.)  I just pulled out one of my old journals and found an entry from early 2002.  The first sentence says, “for some time now, I have felt compelled to write.”  Back then, I didn’t have the foggiest idea what I was going to write about, so I kept a journal with me at all times and spontaneously wrote down ideas as they came to mind. 

It was a start.  I probably looked like a geek when I was in the middle of an airport or sitting in gymnastics class and all of a sudden I’d pull out my journal and start writing feverishly.  (Now I have a blogging journal.  I’m a bit more inconspicuous than I used to be, but if I’m taking notes in the middle of a party, you can guess what I’m up to.)

So as you set goals for 2010, think about taking smalls steps.  If you are going to pursue your dreams, you need to start somewhere.   (And if you don’t even know what your dreams are, buy a journal and start writing them down, even if they sound crazy.) 

Eight years is a long time to wait.  Thanks for sharing the last leg of this journey with me, and let’s make 2010 a year to remember!

How I Got Published – Part 2 (Overcoming Platform)

Once I signed on with an agent, I could hardly wait to get my vision for Chasing Superwoman to the publishers. 

But wait is exactly what I did. 

My agent, Rachelle, explained to me that I didn’t have a platform.  And because I didn’t have a platform, we’d have to be strategic.  The proposal would have to be perfect.  She wanted me to refine (and rework) my sample chapters, and she also wanted to float my idea to publishers to generate interest before sending the proposal. 

Timing is everything.

It sounded like she knew what she was talking about, but deep down I wondered if she thought my writing wasn’t going to make the cut.  Why the heck did I need a platform anyway?

I would quickly learn. 

If you are a non-fiction writer and you’re going to tell other people about your view of the world (and expect them to buy your book), you need a platform to speak from.  People should already be listening to you.  You should be well known as an expert (even an authority) in your field.  Celebrities and politicians have platforms.  In Christian circles, pastors and leaders of large churches and ministries have platforms. 

I wasn’t a celebrity, politician, or church leader.  I had a voice, not a platform.

It didn’t quite seem fair.  I’m not a celebrity.  I’m also not the Church Lady or a pastor’s wife.  Where are the career women out there who are writing about faith and the spiritual struggles of the working mother?  Over 75% of women with school-aged children are working outside the home.  Does the church even hear our voice?  Or is it going to take a celebrity to wake up the Christian publishing houses?

Rachelle didn’t argue with my logic.  She just brought me down to reality.  In reality, I was a lawyer.  Sure, I had given dozens of speeches, edited books, and written articles on legal issues, but that didn’t mean anyone would buy my book about faith and motherhood.  After all, everyone knows that lawyers are the least spiritual group of people on the planet.  Heck, maybe being a lawyer was even a strike against me in the Christian publishing world. 

But it’s who I am.

Through the whole platform discussion, I learned (again) to have patience and adjust my expectations.  But I also determined I would not give up. 
Yes, this whole platform discussion is incredibly frustrating for a first-time author.   Many first-time authors never get past it, and I consider myself lucky (and blessed!) to have gotten on to publishing.

Does platform (or lack thereof) frustrate you?  You're in good company.   

How I Got Published – Part 1 (Getting An Agent)

Many of you have asked me how I went about getting my book published.  After all, I’m not a full time author, I’m a lawyer. 

It all started with an idea.   I was sitting in an airport.  I had just left my three children ( then ages 5, 3, and 1) for a 3-day overnight trip and found myself praying that Doug wouldn’t feed them too much junk while I was gone or let them watch too much TV, and that we would all be safely united in several days.  I had thought about it before, but I finally decided, “I really need to write a book about this crazy yet fulfilling life of mine as a working mother.”

Of course, it takes time for an idea to really form.  But once it does, I’m one of those people who just can’t let go.  So I started to write.

But I didn’t know anything about publishing.  So what did I do next?  I went out and bought The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Getting Published. (I highly recommend it, by the way.)

It basically said that if you have the time and resources, you can try to sell your book idea directly to a publisher.  But, if you’re new to the writing business, don’t have connections, and don’t have the extra time to invest (or money to self publish), you probably need an agent.

I figured out I needed an agent.

Now, finding an agent is no easy task.  You have to have thick skin, and you have to be patient.  I went to a site called E-Query, and I also started to Google agents who represent clients in women’s issues, spirituality, and Christian living.  I targeted about 30 agents and started to randomly send my query, via email.  (A query is a short introduction to your book idea, including why you think people will want to buy it.  There is a formula to writing a query – something I learned in the Idiot’s Guide.)

I was thrilled when about 10 potential agents responded promptly and asked for more information.  “I’m in business,”  I thought.   So I sent along sample chapters and a more thorough proposal.

Then, I waited.  And waited.

Some of the rejections came early.  I saved some of those emails because they remind me just how far I’ve come (and also how far I have to go).  I can still remember my favorite rejection email from a male agent in New York who told me I was completed self-absorbed and needed to get over myself.   (At that point, I realized that a female agent would probably be a better fit for a book about a working mother.)

And that’s just what happened.  One of the first agents to respond to my query was Rachelle Gardner, a new agent on the scene who already had an incredible presence in publishing and a blog that drew me in.  From one working mother to another, Rachelle quickly understood my vision for the book and related to my writing style (she didn’t even tell me I was self-absorbed or over-the-top).  So when she offered to represent me, I checked her references, prayed about it, and quickly said yes!  (Besides, if I had waited for some of those other agents to respond, I’d die of impatience.)

For me, getting an agent was the first and probably most important step in getting published (it took me about 4 months to secure an agent, which I understand is fast for most first-time authors).  Now that Rachelle’s been an agent for several years, she’s representing all kinds of famous people, and I consider myself quite blessed to have met her when she was young and hungry.

But getting an agent was just the first step in this journey.  Who said anything about a platform?.