Why I’m A Bible Study “Drop Out”

I haven’t been part of a women’s Bible study in years.  And I really miss it.  Which is why I told my husband, “This year, things are going to be different.  I’m going to make it a priority.  I want to do this.  I need to do this.”

So I signed up for a Tuesday night study and faithfully attended the first week.  I even had to sign a “commitment” sheet and declared I would do my best to achieve regular attendance.

The second week, I was out of town on business.

The third week, I looked at the evening calendar and quickly realized I would have to hire a babysitter or clone myself in order to get three kids to three different evening events. 

So I said to my husband,  “I think I’m going to drop out of Bible study, what do you think?”

Part of me wanted him to tell me I had to quit.  That signing up for another evening event is stupid.  That hiring a babysitter to run the kids around in the evenings is a foolish use of our resources.  And that being with the kids right now is the better use of my time.

But he didn’t.

He responded, “Do whatever you think is best.”  (It’s called reverse psychology -- and it gets me every time.)

Great, I actually have to make this decision myself.  I can’t blame him for holding me back.


I didn’t want to drop out.  I’m not a quitter, but I just can’t justify the evenings away from my family during this busy season of motherhood.  Can anyone relate?

Maybe next year. 

Does this season of life have you making some hard personal choices?

Work, Love, Pray: Practical Wisdom For Young Professional Christian Women

 

 “If I was really serving God, I wouldn’t be spending my days in high heels and a business suit. I’d find something more spiritual to do – like serving my family or volunteering at my church.  Right?”

Can you relate to this statement?  Even if you can’t, unfortunately, many Christian women can.  Most of us know a young Christian woman who is struggling to figure out how she will balance her career, family, and faith.  And she might even feel marginalized in the church, just because she works outside the home. 

Here’s my answer.  Give her a copy of Work, Love, Pray.

This newly released book by executive Diane Paddison helps working women answer the question:  Can I be the woman God intended – even the wife and mother God intended – while striving to excel in my career?

Paddison not only tackles this question, she answers it with a resounding “yes”! 

Here’s what I liked about the book.  It encourages women to stop whining and start taking action – like seeking out mentors and making smart career choices.

From dual-career families to negotiating with your boss, Paddison hits the hot buttons facing women in the workplace.  And despite her enormous success in business, she isn’t preachy or condescending.  She’s quick to admit her failures and recognizes that God places each of us in unique circumstances.

Here’s another thing I loved about the book.  Work, Love, Pray offers dozens of examples of the successes, failures, and lessons learned from other women on the journey.  Including women who have “failed” in business. Women who have been abandoned by a spouse or have unexpectedly lost a family member. Women who have lost it “all” – yet have persevered in faith to rise above their circumstances to live out their God-given talents.

The only thing I didn’t like about this book?

It didn’t exist 20 years ago.  I could have really used the advice!  In fact, Paddison has founded 4Word, a national nonprofit designed to connect, lead, and support young professional Christian women.  Check out the 4Word website here.

Who do you know who can benefit from Work, Love, Pray?

Need A Radical Sabbatical?

If you’re a working mom (or dad) you may have noticed that “The Schedule” is slightly out of control.  That’s putting it mildly, isn’t it?  If your schedule is like mine, it’s a freight train without brakes.

The train has left the station and there’s no stopping it now.

Right?

Maybe not.  Just wait a minute.  There’s someone out there who has activated the emergency brake.  Yes, I’m hear to tell you that it’s possible (even beneficial) to step back and take a radical sabbatical.

Meet Joanne Kraft.

This brave (slightly crazy?) working mother of four decided to pull the plug for an entire year on all extra-curricular activities.  And she lived through it, became a better mother and wife, and decided to write a book about it:  Just Too Busy – Taking Your Family On A Radical Sabbatical.

I know what you’re thinking.  I’m not that radical.  I could never do it.  My family would hate me.  Our lives revolve around The Schedule.

Don’t worry, I was thinking the same thing.  In fact, I’m not here to suggest that every family should drop out of activities for a year.  And Joanne Kraft doesn’t suggest that either.  Your radical sabbatical will probably look different than mine or hers.

In my case, after reading Just Too Busy, my family took a much-needed 2-week vacation with no TV and internet.  And let me tell you, that was a big step for my ever-loving media addicts (hubby included!).  For me, it’s about taking small steps.  And Just Too Busy gave me the inspiration I needed, plus plenty of ideas to chew on.

I don’t want to give the book away because I want you to buy it on Amazon.  What I will say is that Just Too Busy game me some serious perspective.  In fact, I’d love to give you my copy – just leave me a comment to enter a drawing.

Do you need some perspective?  Do you feel like the train has left the station and you can’t find the emergency brake?  Are you ready for a radical sabbatical?  What are you waiting for?

The Church Doesn’t Like Me!

Did you ever feel like you don’t fit in the church?  Like you can’t find anything in common with the people around you?  Maybe you’ve tried, but you just can’t seem to connect.

You’re not alone.

An old friend I’ll call “Kate” stopped over last weekend.  I could tell she was upset.  Things at home were going well, her practice was booming, and she looked great.  So, what was the problem?

“No one in my church likes me!” she exclaimed.  “I just don’t fit in.”

Kate is a brilliant physician.  Like me, she has three young kids and a husband who frequently holds down the fort.  Like me, she probably works too much.  And like me, she’s had a hard time figuring out her place in the church. 

Kate doesn’t have time for weekly Bible studies.  She’s not involved in after-school activities.  She doesn’t help with carpool or put together prayer chains.  And she feels like her peers in the church have written her off – that she doesn’t have anything to contribute.

But Kate has much to contribute.

She spearheads cutting-edge medical research.  She interacts with the public and influences families regarding their health care choices.  She loves Jesus, and she’s raising her children to do the same.  She just needs some help in the process.  She needs people who will come along side her, accept her for who she is, and welcome her into community.

Don’t give up on the church Kate!  The church needs you.  And you need the church.


Maybe you know a Kate.  Maybe you’re like Kate. 

Have you ever felt out of place in the church?   You may think you have nothing to contribute when, in fact, you’re needed.  Desperately.

I’m Not The Room Parent!

It’s Working Mommy Wednesday.  The school year is in full swing.  And I can barely keep up.  Parent homework.  Forms. Packing lunches. Juggling schedules. School fundraisers. Snack duty. More forms. 

Not to mention my kids’ multiple after-school activities.  It’s simply exhausting.

Remember when we were kids – and we actually did our own homework?  Today, it’s impossible for parents to keep up. 

I know, I know.  It’s good for parents to be involved.  But let’s think about life when we were kids.

• My parents never had to check my homework every night or sign a “homework log.”  I had to do it myself. 
• My parents never got involved in school fundraisers.  I went door to door and sold candy bars (ok, maybe they bought a few bars from me). 
• My parents didn’t drop me off in front of the school or walk me to my classroom.  I took the bus.  
• My parents never volunteered in my classroom.  (No, my mom wasn’t the room mother.)

And I wasn’t neglected a bit.  I had more love at home than I could have asked for.  But school was school.  And home was home.

What happened to those lines?

Parents, are you a bit overwhelmed by the demands of school?  Do you think our kids would be more independent if we were less involved?  Or am I just over-reacting a bit?

Worried About What People Think?

Sometimes, I worry too much what people think.

As a working mom, I worry that other moms will think I'm too career-oriented.  That I'm not focused enough on my family.

As a lawyer, I worry that if I talk too much about my kids (and constantly showcase my darling pictures and stories) business-minded folks won't think I'm a top-notch lawyer.  Instead, they'll associate me with "mommy" brain.

Case in point, I've recently wondered whether driving my mommy mobile is a career limiting gesture.  My wagon is scratched, worn, and dented (I’ve never pretended to be a skilled driver), but it has also survived the stains, pains, and drains of three small children. 

Which has recently caused me some embarassment.

I was visiting a high-profile client at his office.  After the meeting he asked, “Hey, I hope it isn’t a bother, but I was hoping you could give me a ride to the dealer.”

My heart sank.

Did I mention that I also use my car as a second office?  Since the passenger side is usually empty, I always have papers and trash sitting next to me.  And I always spill my coffee, which is why there are multiple stains in the front seat and carpet.

“Of course you can have a ride," I replied. 

He got into the front seat, and I just couldn’t find the right words.

Please excuse the stains, I can assure you they are old and don’t contain live bacteria. 

Despite the dents on the passengers’ side, I’ve never hit another car – just my garage and inanimate objects.

I’m really a much better lawyer than driver.

I’m due for a new car, but I just haven’t make up my mind.  There are too many options.

Nothing sounded quite right.

And I don’t know what bothered me more – the fact that he was riding in my mommy mobile, or the fact that I was so worried about it. 

Do you ever get caught up worrying about what people think?

Is Life A Juggling Act Or a Blender?

I used to think my life was like a juggling act. Truth be told, it’s more like a blender.

Don’t get me wrong, juggling a full-time job, three kids, a spouse, and extended family and friends (not to mention writing and hobbies) involves lots of balls. But sometimes, I run out of hands. I’m even known to drop a few balls in mid air.

Which is where the blender comes in. Forget juggling. I just throw it all into the same bowl and turn on the switch. There are three speeds -- low, medium, and high. I usually run on medium, and I save high for when I really need it – like when I’m up all night with a sick kid and need to be in court the next morning.  But even in moments of complete and utter chaos, I've learned to make a pretty good shake. I’ve even gotten used to the fact that there are no hard and fast lines between my worlds. That’s right, I’m at my best when I abandon the juggling act and just turn on the blender. And I’m not alone.  Integrating life and work is an emerging trend.

In a world of technology, social media, and careers that demand nothing less than a chunk of our flesh, it’s no longer realistic to compartmentalize. The days of “work time” and “personal time” are over.  Every time I try to draw a line in the sand, it backfires. The phone rings when I’m trying to fix dinner and it’s a client emergency. How can I ignore the call?  I’m sitting in an important meeting and my secretary interrupts with a message -- my son is sick at school and needs me. Of course, I run out to get him.

Some would accuse me of lacking balance.

My response?  Balance is out.  Blenders are in.  Why fight it?  I’m not saying it’s right or wrong.  For many of us, it’s just the way it is.  I’m tired of changing my cape every time I switch from home to work and work to home. I’m a passionate mother and a passionate lawyer. Can’t I be both at the same time? Or do I need to take great pains to compartmentalize my life so that no one can ever discover the real me?

Should You Talk About Your Kids At Work?

 
Today, on Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re answering a tough question:  should working moms (and dads) talk about their kids at work?

Here’s my short answer:  know your audience.

Even though you think little “Junior” is the greatest thing since sliced bread, not everyone cares.  Some working adults don’t have kids.  Some don’t like kids.  Others are just over them (been there, done that!).  Still others haven’t reached that stage in life – and it scares them just thinking about it.

I was sitting down at dinner with a new client the other evening, and he started moaning about all the screaming kids on his flight.  I quickly looked at his hand – no wedding ring.  (Of course, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t have children of his own, but I tend to watch for the signs.) 

Note to self:  I probably shouldn’t lead the conversation with stories about my darling children.

On the other hand, some of us – especially women – make the mistake of thinking that any reference to our personal lives isn’t “professional.”  So we hide the pictures of our children and act like we’re not mothers – just because we don’t want others to think we have “Mommy Mush Brain.”   This too can be a mistake.  As a lawyer and a mother, some of my closest bonds with both my colleagues and clients have centered around my children.

But I still walk that tight rope. 

The Working Mom’s Guide To Saying Yes!

This post was supposed to be about saying NO!  After all, if you’re a working mom, the word no probably isn’t in your vocabulary. Most of us need to draw some serious boundaries.

So why on earth am I writing a post about saying yes? 

It’s simple.  We need to start saying yes first.  We need to start saying yes to the things that are really important.  

Ok, maybe it’s a bit more complicated than it sounds.  I’ll admit, I really don’t have this whole yes/no thing figured out.  But I do know that I’ve probably had it backwards.  And I don’t think I’m alone.

Most weeks, I let my schedule fill up with lots of “stuff.”  Most of this stuff is good -- ranging from work, school, activities, exercise – but at the end of the week I find myself asking, What did I really accomplish?

I’m not suggesting that my daily routine isn’t productive or worthy of my time.  I am suggesting it’s not always intentional.

And this holiday season – when my schedule typically blazes out of control – I want to be intentional.  So, how does this translate into saying yes? 

[Click here to continue reading at Work, Wife, Mom ... Life!]

What Would Your Co-Workers Say About You?

When I first saw this prompt for Working Mommy Wednesday, I thought, Maybe I’ll just ask.  You know, I could send an email to my co-workers asking, “Just tell me what you think about me, so I can blog about it.”

But that wouldn’t be fair.  That would ruin all the fun.  So here goes.

My coworkers would probably say that I like being in charge.  I have specific ideas about how things should be done.  My way!  And, while I try to be open minded and listen to others, it can be pretty difficult to change my mind.  You have to be persuasive.  Expect some push back.

Another thing about me?  I can be a control freak.  While I’m all for delegation (because, if done right, it can involve me doing less work), I expect things to be done at a certain standard.  I have a passion for excellence.  And, while I’ve gotten much better at delegation over the last few years, I’m better at telling people what to do than showing them how to do it.  Training takes time and patience, and I’m not a teacher by nature.  I’m a doer.  So, unless you’re a mind reader, you’re probably not going to know exactly what I expect from you.  Sorry.

My co-workers would also say that I push the envelope.  A little too much.  I’m known to over commit and over book.  I work best under tight deadlines so I’m not going to focus on something unless I really need to.  But when I do become focused and get in “the zone”  I can be a little cranky.

Last but certainly not least, I really like to have fun at work.  And sometimes, when circumstances don’t cooperate, you have to make lemonade out of lemons.  (And then drink the entire pitcher!)  I have little tolerance for people who always see the glass half empty.

I hope my co-workers would say that I lead by example.  That I admit my mistakes.  That I’m willing to take one for the team, even if it’s at my own expense.

What do you think your co-workers would say about you?  (Maybe I need to just participate in one of those 360 evaluations and find out the truth!)

Are You Losing It?

Do you ever feel like you’re losing it?  If so, you're not alone.

Last week, I was getting ready for work when Anna pulled out a note in her back pack and exclaimed, “Mom, I didn’t know you were volunteering today!”

I didn’t know either.  I had apparently forgotten about helping out in second grade.

How am I going to swing this when I’m getting ready to go out of town?

Anna continued, “Mommy, I’m so excited for you to come to my class.  What time are you going to be there?”

I couldn’t say no.

“I’ll have to call your teacher, Anna.  It depends on what time she needs me.”

Anna was so excited she could hardly contain herself.  I headed into the office, trying to figure out how I was going to be two places at once.  I left Anna’s teacher an email.  I left her a voicemail.  I finally tracked down the school secretary and found out I needed to be there at 12:15 p.m. – right after lunch.

I had exactly two hours and thirty minutes to accomplish eight hours of work.

So I kicked into scary-high gear.  Scary-high gear doesn’t happen very often, but look out when it does.  Don’t get in my way.  Don’t interrupt me.  And don’t expect me to be rational. 

By 11:30, I was on fire (and running ahead of schedule).  I called a couple of co-workers to load several boxes of documents into my car and announced I would be back in the office in a few days.

The only problem?

I couldn’t find my car keys. 

So we looked everywhere.  A team of people helped me turn my office upside down.  We looked in the conference room.  The bathroom.  My secretary called security.  She next called the coffee shop in our building.  I looked in my car.

It was 11:50 a.m.  Still no keys.

I started to panic.

Anna is going to think I’ve forgotten about her.  I’m going to be late.  Quick, I need a car.  Somebody call a cab.  I need to get to the grade school.

Another lawyer-mom knew I was desperate and offered her keys.  I had to move fast.  I’ll deal with the boxes later.  I’ll just have to delay my trip.  Then, I heard a voice inside of me.  Check your purse again.

Right there.  Right in my purse, I found my car keys.

I looked at the blank stares around me, and I knew what my colleagues were thinking.  She’s officially losing it.

They were right.  I’m not afraid to admit when I’m losing it.  It only happens once or twice a year.  I’m not sure it’s preventable, so I’m not going to try to blog about any “lessons learned.”

Instead, I’d like hear how you know when you’re losing it.

Please tell me I’m not alone.

Top Ten Reasons To Read I’m Outnumbered! (Plus, A Give-Away)

Today, on Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re sharing top ten lists.  And I couldn’t think of a better place to share the top ten reasons to read I’m Outnumbered! One Mom’s Lessons in the Lively Art of Raising Boys, by Laura Lee Groves.

1.  Laura is a fellow working mom.  As an English teacher and mother of four boys (that’s right four boys), Laura is a kindred spirit to busy, overworked mothers.
2.  The tone is spiritual yet realistic. I’m Outnumbered is written from a biblical perspective.  But I also didn’t find it to be overly preachy or unrealistic.  Laura acknowledges that no parents are perfect, and we all need God’s grace to get us through the journey. 
3.  Laura speaks from the heart.  In fact, Laura is pretty transparent and vulnerable about her own journey – including lessons learns and teachable moments.
4.  Nothing beats experience.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand getting parenting advice from people who haven’t been in the trenches.  (Like, “Gee, I read that you should ignore your child when he has a tantrum.”)  Laura speaks from a wealth of experience. 
5.  Laura offers lots of practical tips.  I’m Outnumbered doesn’t just give advice – it gives examples, resources, and creative parenting ideas.  (Yeah, it’s also a nice compliment to Chasing Superwoman, which by my own admission is more of a rant than an instruction manual.)
6.  Finally, a female voice about boys!  A handful of books have already been written about raising boys.  But few if any are from a female perspective.  (As someone who grew up with all sisters, I really need that female perspective!)
7.  Her sons actually contribute to the book.  One of my favorite parts of the book is where Laura’s sons provide first-hand insight.  (See Chapter 10 – A Word From The Boys.)  It’s one thing to talk about raising boys – but it’s another thing to actually hear from them directly!
8.  Help promote a new author.  This is Laura’s first book.  And first-time authors are always looking for creative ways to get the word out.  Once you read I’m Outnumbered, please consider passing it along to a friend or doing your own book review.
9.  We all need mentors.  I’m always looking for mentors on my parenting journey.  And I love connecting with moms I respect – especially when they’re a couple of steps ahead of me.  Laura is one of those moms!  Her blog is also a great source of encouragement. 
10.  I’ll send you a copy!  Last but certainly not least, I’d love to send you a copy.  By posting a comment on my blog before 5:00 p.m. Sunday, you can enter a drawing to win a free copy.  (Winners win be announced in the comment section of this post Sunday evening.)

Happy Wednesday, and thanks Laura for writing I’m Outnumbered!

Does Work Make You A Bad Mommy?

Today, on Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re answering a tough question:  Does your job make you a better or worse mother?

This question is so difficult that I’m not going to give you a straight answer.

My answer?  It depends.

Some days, I feel really good about work/life balance.  I enjoy my job tremendously, and when I come home from work to be with my kids I am more than ready to see them!  In fact, I can honestly say that I never get tired of being with them because I know each moment is precious.  My kids know how much I love to hang out with them.

I’ve talked to some of my working mom friends about this before, and we like to pat each other on the back and say things like, “Gosh, I’m more patient with my kids because I’m not with them all day,” or “I think my kids are better off with me working outside the home.”

I would be lying to you if I told you that this is the whole story. 

There’s always another side, isn’t there?

If I’m really honest, I have to admit that my job has the capacity to make me a worse mother.  To be less involved with my kids.  More distracted.  More impatient.  And more focused on what’s going on outside my home than what’s going on inside my home. 

And some days, I’m probably a worse mother because I’m a busy lawyer.

So I’m sticking to my initial answer:  It depends.

I’m just trying to be the person I’m created to be.  And, at this point in my life, that includes both a Lawyer and a Mommy!

Thank God for grace.

We All Make Assumptions

I hate it when people make assumptions about me.

Like when I was standing in the check-out line several years ago– holding a newborn in one arm, unloading groceries, and chasing around two toddlers. An elderly woman watched me with doting eyes. She gave me a warm smile and said, “My, you are busy, aren’t you? I remember those days like they were yesterday.”

She started to help me with my groceries and we struck up a conversation. I learned that she had five grandchildren, and her granddaughter had curly hair just like my Anna. Then she said to me, “I know how hard it is being at home all day with them. You must feel like you never get a break.”

I replied, “Well, actually, I work full time as a lawyer. Most days, I don’t get to see them until after dinner.”

Her warm smile turned into a scowl. Then she gave me The Look. She didn’t have to say a word.

[Click here to continue reading at High Calling Blogs]

The Last Flight Out

I was tired and cranky.  I was determined.  And I knew I had to make the last flight out.

The only problem?  There aren’t that many direct flights to my home town of Columbus, Ohio on a Saturday evening.  In fact, the only non-direct flight would get me home at 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning.  Assuming no airport delays, canceled flights, or late connections.

My husband, Doug, told me just to leave on Sunday morning.  “We’ll be fine without you.  What’s another night?  Why do you always have to kill yourself?”

Maybe he was right.  If I left Sunday, I could still be home by lunch.  I could even get some sleep.  And I wouldn’t be hanging out in connecting airports on a Saturday evening. 

But I couldn’t do it.  I needed to get home.

Why was I so determined?

Well, there are a couple of reasons.  First and foremost, I’m a mom.  I hadn’t seen my kids in five days, and I missed them.  Terribly.  I missed my philosophical discussions with Nick (right before bed, of course) and I missed Anna’s constant hugs and affection.  And, yes, I even missed Abby’s booming voice and her favorite words, “Daddy can do it.” 

And while I know the kids are “fine” without me, I still couldn’t wait to see them.  Plus, I missed Doug and knew he needed a break from full-time daddy duty.

The other reason I needed to get home?  Twelve preschoolers were expecting me on Sunday morning.  Sure, I could have arranged a substitute for my Sunday school class, but I wanted to be there.  Plus, some of these kids are just getting over their own separation anxiety.  They’re just getting to know me.  So the last thing they need is another new face on Sunday morning.

Have you ever just known you needed to get home? 

It’s Monday.  And I’m back to work.

But I’m so glad to be home.

What Are We Working For?

What are we really working for? 

More stuff?  A bigger house?  A college savings fund?

While none of these things are bad in and of themselves (and we all need to earn a living), I for one don’t want to get to the end of my career and say to myself, what did I really accomplish?

Just today, I had lunch with a respected friend and colleague.  He told me that he hit a turning point at 40.  He was working hard and having much success as a lawyer.  He was on vacation with his family, sitting on a cruise ship, and it finally hit him.  Something was missing.

What am I working for?  Is this it?

So he went home and got out an old guitar he hadn’t played in 20 years.  Within a year, he joined a band, bought a new guitar, and has been writing songs (and playing gigs) ever since.  And his musical talents have made him an even better lawyer.

I love this story for a couple of reasons. 

First, it reminds me that we all have a need to be creative – to use our God-given talents and contribute to something outside of ourselves, just for the joy of the experience.

As important, some of us have lost our sense of creativity all together.  We’ve become one-dimensional.  We work hard, take care of our families, and “get by” week after week.  But that’s it.

While work in and of itself can be a creative expression (something I’ll blog about another day), some of us need to reach outside of work to fill that creative void.  It doesn't necessarily mean that we have to quit our jobs, change our livestyles, or move across the country.  Sometimes, it might be as simple as pulling out that old guitar in the closet.

How do you best express yourself?  For me, my creative adventure (aka mid-life crisis) has been writing a book, but you might be gifted in art, music, sports, drama, scrapbooking, or cooking – to name a few creative outlets.

Don’t you ever wonder if there’s something more?

Working Moms v. Stay At Home – I Need Your Input!

When I wrote Chasing Superwoman, I really didn’t intend to start a debate between stay-at-home moms and working moms.  But in some circles, that’s exactly what happened. 

Given that there are already a host of Christian books directed to stay-at-home mothers, I had intended to provide encouragement (and a bit of humor) to moms who work outside the home --- moms who feel like they don’t have much of a spiritual voice inside the church.  But the issue of who has it harder – stay-at-home moms or working moms – seems to have taken center stage.

The good news?  It started a dialogue.  So much that I need your help.  I mean really need your help. 

I’ve been asked to write an article in HomeLife magazine about how the church can better bridge the gap between stay-at-home moms and working moms.  No easy task!  Sure, I have my ideas about the subject, but I could really use your input. 

Please send me your candid (and brilliant) comments!  I have about a month to write the article.  If you’d rather email your comments confidentially, send them to sdimickele@gmail.com.

Yes, guys are welcome to comment too!

Wednesday Woman: Martha Of Bethany

Martha is a worker bee.  She’s the kind of person who always has too much to do.  Yet she keeps taking on more and more.  Somebody has to get it done!

In the New Testament, Martha of Bethany (and her sister Mary) are two of Jesus’ best friends.  And when Jesus visits their home, the text refers to it as Martha’s home, which is fairly remarkable.   Martha appears to be a property owner – an unusual position for a First-Century woman.  How did she become the head of her household?  We really don’t know.  She may have been a widow, or she may have been caring for younger siblings.  But we do know this – at the end of the day, Martha is in charge.  And she seems to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders.

If we brought Martha in a time capsule to the Twenty-First Century, I think she’d fit right in.  On any given day, most of us feel like if we don’t get it done, nobody will do it!  And, yes, like Martha, we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. 

Last Sunday night, I collapsed after a long weekend of laundry, carpool, cooking, packing, unpacking, hosting guests, and driving my son to church camp.  My 7-year-old daughter, Anna, looked at me and said,

“Mom, are you glad you finally get to rest?  After all, you have to do everything!”

A girl after my own heart, I thought to myself.

All of a sudden, I could relate to Martha. I do have to do everything, don’t I? I wanted to give Anna a gold star for getting it right.  At least someone notices my effort!

Like Martha, we all crave validation.  In fact, when Martha was running around in circles trying to “do it all” it really irritated her that Jesus didn’t give her a pity party.  He didn’t even order her sister Mary to help.  Instead, he basically told Martha to lighten up.  

But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details.  There is only one thing worth being concerned about.”  Luke 10:41-42 (NLT) (Emphasis mine)

We know from the New Testament that Martha continued to follow Jesus, even after he told her to get over herself.  She probably continued to work hard to keep her household running, but more importantly, she learned that the one thing -- her relationship with God -- was more important than trying to do and be everything. 

Have you taken hold of the one thing?  Or are you still focused on everything else?

Why I’m Not Blogging Every Day

When I started blogging last December, I figured I’d do it five days a week.  As much as I love to write, blogging every day would be a luxury and a breeze.  Right?

Well, for sure it’s a luxury.  I’ve come to love blogging – and the people I’ve met through blogging – more than I’d ever imagine.  I wasn’t supposed to get hooked.  But I did.

Which brings me to my next point.  Blogging five days a week takes time.  Some weeks, it’s more time than I have!

Usually, I blog in the evenings.  I kid you not, it’s not unusual for me to put my kids to bed while I’m drafting content, reading comments, or commenting on other blogs (laptop in hand)!  I’ve had to ask myself, “Is this any way for a mother to spend the summer with her children?”

So, reluctantly, I’m going to cut back a bit.  At least for the summer.  I’m kicking and screaming, but even I know when I’ve reached my limit.   

My plan?  I’m still going to blog three days a week, probably Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.  (And, now that I’m savvy to the blogging world, I’ve noticed that many dedicated bloggers have adopted this same schedule.)

Yes, we all make time for things that are important.  And, for me, blogging is just one of them.

Have you had to adjust your priorities lately?  And how do you make time for the people you love and the God who constantly redeems us, busy schedules and all?

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Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.  - Colossians 3:23 NLT

Cathy Career Or Susie Stay-At-Home?

Cathy Career is selfish. She’s careful not to have more than two children because they might interfere with her success. She doesn’t have time to bake cookies or pack her children nutritious lunches, so her family is always eating junk and picking up fast food. She doesn’t have time to volunteer at church (or get involved in a church for that matter).

She’s intimidated by stay-at-home moms because she assumes they think she’s a bad mother -- that she’s putting herself or her job before her family. After all, what’s more important, your family or a paycheck? Her identity rests on what she does outside the home.

Susie Stay-At-Home is obsessed with her children. She takes her kids to “Mommy and Me” classes and spends her spare time making homemade jam and elaborate family scrapbooks. She never buys any new clothes, spends most of her time cooking and cleaning, and she barely gets out of the house -- except when she is volunteering at church or school.

She’s intimidated by career women because she assumes they think she doesn’t have ambition -- or worse, that she doesn’t have a brain just because she’s with her children all day. Her identity rests on what she does inside the home.

Do these stereotypes sound familiar? While I’ve never met Cathy Career or Susie Stay-At-Home, it didn’t take much imagination on my part to write about these two fictional women. Yet, in reality, these stereotypes hold little value. I would go one step further and argue that these stereotypes even hurt us, especially inside the church.

Why drive an artificial wedge between women of faith who desperately need one another?