Does Your Life (or Blog) Need a Facelift?

Spring is just around the corner.  Which is why I decided I need a face lift.

It’s not what you’re thinking.  (Ok, maybe I am a bit vain, but I’m not getting plastic surgery any time soon.)

I’m talking about a face lift for my blog!

Why does a face lift make me “feel” better?  After all, it’s the same blog.  The same content.  The same message.

But it still feels new. 

It’s like trying a new recipe. Putting on a new dress.  Drinking a fresh cup of coffee.

Remember what it felt like to get a new pair of shoes as a kid?  You could run faster and jump higher.  And my own children are no different.  Sure, they may be materialistic (like the rest of America) but I also believe something else is going on inside of them.  Something deeper.

I am convinced there is a God-given desire inside of all of us that wants to be made new. 

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Rev 21:5)

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. (Ezekiel 36:26 NLT)

Can you feel it? 

It’s that tug inside our hearts that tells us there is something more. Something beautiful.  Even something new. 

Maybe it’s time for a face lift.

Should Kids Engage In Social Media?

There’s much discussion over Michelle Obama’s decision not to let her daughters on Facebook.

And she’s not the only parent wrestling with this decision.  Well before our children will encounter other milestones – like driving, dating, and staying out late with friends -- we have to make some serious decisions about their use of technology and the internet.

I for one believe these are difficult decisions.  Writers like Amy Sullivan remind us our teens are spending almost 8 hours a day online!   But social media isn’t all bad for our youth. For example, social media has actually engaged Generation Y in politics (a good thing, in my opinion). 

But my kids are still too young to take the plunge.

My son, Nick, is almost 10, and he’s already bugging me for an email account.  I’m just not ready to go there.  (And, no, he doesn’t have his own cell phone yet.)  Yet other parents tell me that mobile phones help them communicate with their kids and even track them with GPS! 

Right now, I just tell Nick that we’ll revisit the issue when he’s a bit older.  I also give him access to my personal email account to communicate with out-of-town family members and friends. And he’s known to read my blog and hang over my shoulder when I’m Tweeting. By some parents’ standards, I’m already giving him too much access to the complicated world of social media.

So what’s a parent to do?  I’ve found that most parents fall into some combination of the following three categories.

1)  Don’t ask don’t tell. 

Some parents simply don’t want to know.

Kids will be kids.  There’s nothing I can do to, so why bother to get involved. 

Others would rather engage in denial.

My kids will never abuse technology.  They know better than that!

These parents shudder to find out – after the fact – that their daughter has been posting inappropriate photos on MySpace or their minor son has an online (older) girlfriend.

2)  Social media is the Devil.

Other parents simply ban social media all together.  They cut off access at home.  They spend money on blocking devices. They caution their kids about the dangers of the online world.  Even though the minimum age for Facebook is 13 years old, they insist that their children are 18 (or older) before maintaining any type of internet profile. 

While these parents appear extreme, the rest of us can understand their fears, particularly with the threat of child pornography and unhealthy online relationships.

3)  Get involved and stay involved. 

Still other parents – like me – plan to strike a balance.  We’re not exactly pushing our kids to join start Tweeting at age 13 (I’m not sure any 13-year-old has the judgment for Twitter -- some days I’m not even sure I do!) but we’re going to expose our kids to the online world on our terms, which means we have to get involved.

The parents I know who successfully strike this balance tend to share passwords (and friends) with their kids, implement privacy settings, and visit their children’s social media sites at least once a day. 

There are no easy answers. And, as a parent, I know I need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and try to do what’s best for my family.  (And, if I were in Michelle Obama’s shoes, I don’t think I’d let my daughters on Facebook either!)

What’s your social media strategy for your children?

How To Be Rude During A Meeting

It used to be that the rudest guy (or gal) in a meeting was the guy who never shuts up.  You know who I’m talking about.  The guy who constantly talks.  And talks.  I’ll call him “Talking Tom.”

He’s only interested in himself.   Talking Tom isn’t interested in anybody else’s ideas.

The eyes usually start rolling during one of his monologues.  Somebody really should tell Talking Tom to shut up.  But nobody does.  So he keeps talking.

It makes for a long meeting.


Talking Tom, however, has a new rival.  Her name? “Texting Terry.”

I think you know her.  She’s always texting and emailing on her mobile device.  She even takes it to the bathroom.  And during a meeting, she just can’t stop.  Reading messages.  Sending messages.  Forwarding messages. 

Like Talking Tom, Texting Terry only appears interested in herself.  She’s too busy texting to listen to others.  Sure, when it’s her turn to speak, she’ll put her device down and become engaged.  But it won’t last.  As soon as her part is “over” she’ll zone out again.

It makes for a frustrating meeting.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the rudest of them all – Talking Tom or Texting Terry?

You decide!

Are You A Social Media Loner?

Most of my friends don’t blog.  Few of my family members use social media. My husband has vowed to never join Twitter or Facebook.  (And my kids are too young to participate!)

The result?  I’m a social media loner.

And those of us who are loners need to think through our options.

Option #1 Beg Your Family and Friends to Join You

You’re a constant nag.  You frequently beg your family and friends to join the blogging world.  You apply peer pressure and say things like “You don’t know what you’re missing out on!” and “When are you going to join the 21st Century?”

Option #2 Hide Your Social Media Use

Nagging hasn’t worked.  You’re tired of begging, so you simply act like you’re not a social media junkie.  You downplay (or hide) your online activity -- “I’m just finishing up some work again.  Me? Blogging again? Of course not!”

Option #3 Set Boundaries

Your family and friends think you’ve gone mad.  They’ve attempted an intervention.  So you set some serious boundaries.  You turn off your blog on the weekends.  You don’t Tweet at the dinner table.  And even though you miss out on a few posts, it’s worth the trade off.

Option #4 Live in Two Worlds

You’re comfortable in your social media skin.  Hey, it’s just another part of your life.  You let your family and friends know that, while they are welcome to join you, they will never be replaced by your online world.  You choose to lead an “integrated” life. 

Are you a social media loner?  If so, what are your coping mechanisms?

Have a good weekend!

Are Online Relationships Real?

Remember when you were a kid, and you had imaginary friends?  Remember when grown-ups thought you were crazy?

That’s how I feel sometimes as a blogger.

Last week, I was speaking to a group of intelligent women, trying to explain some of the intangible benefits of my writing.

“The most incredible part of blogging is some of the new friends I’ve met.”

I went on to explain. “I consider many other bloggers dear friends.  Some of these friends encourage me on a daily basis.”

I noticed a few blank stares in the audience.

They must think I’m crazy.  Maybe I am!


After all, a year ago, I would have told me I was crazy.  You can’t have real relationships online, can you?  Relationships where people don’t actually meet in person.  Where people hide behind computer screens (where they can conveniently hide their faults and annoying personalities).

Other bloggers don’t smell.  They don’t show up at my doorstep unexpected.  They don’t put demands on my time.  They don’t ask me to help with carpool duty or bake cookies for the Election Day bake sale (yeah, I forgot to sign up again this year).

How can a relationship be real when it is completely on my terms?  When I’m the one in control? When it doesn’t involve sacrifice?

Maybe online relationships are imaginary after all.  After all, I can just turn them off with a power button.

But wait a minute.  Smelly or not, my online friendships have stretched me, that's for sure.  No one is pointing a gun to my head, yet I’m pushing myself to read other blogs, write encouraging comments, and even meet deadlines.  I’m not just pushing myself to write, I’m pushing myself to connect.  And while I probably started blogging in search of fans, the wonderful truth is that I’ve found some friends instead. 

And friends are worth it.  Online or not.