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Monday, June 27, 2011

Be Careful What You Put In Writing!

TMI.  Also called “Too Much Information.”  It’s a bad habit of mine.  I tend to say too much.

When you’re a writer and your life appears on a blog, you need to be careful of TMI.  Or so I’ve learned.

I was recently at my nephew’s graduation party, and I met a guy who reads my blog.  (Pretty cool, huh, that even tough guys read Lawyer Mommy?)  He even has a name for me.  He calls me Stinky.

After all, I’ve written about the fact that showers are overrated.  I’ve openly admitted I don’t wash my hair every day.  And he couldn’t quite get that sordid imagine out of his brain.  Stinky.  Stinky Woman.  Stinky Lawyer Woman.  If the shoe fits, wear it!  (In this case, the shoe stinks.)
 
I wonder, have I lost my mind?  Why does a grown, professional women put her weaknesses on paper (not to mention on a public blog)?  Especially stinky ones.  Do I have to be so vulnerable?  Couldn’t my readers do without the smelly talk? 

Maybe I should just write about my “perfect” life in Lawyer Mommy Land.  You know, I have the perfect marriage.  My kids never break the rules.   I never doubt God.  I never doubt myself.  And I shower three times a day.  Does that smell better?

Despite the fact that you probably wouldn’t believe it, you probably wouldn’t read it.  Who wants to read about someone who never makes mistakes, has it all figured out, and never skips a shower?

Not me!

That’s what I love about grace.  God takes us just as we are.  Treasures in jars of clay.  Broken.  Even stinky. 

But my nickname is also a sober reminder that sometimes we need to guard our words.  It’s one thing to make fun at our own mistakes, but what if I told you my husband was stinky?  That my kids were incorrigible?  That my boss was unfair?

Would that be TMI?



Monday, June 20, 2011

Mary or Martha?

The story of Mary and Martha (two of Jesus’ best friends) has my attention.   I like to imagine Mary and Martha living in the 21st Century.

Martha is a trailblazer.  (Heck, she owned property in the ancient world -- a rare status for women!)  She's also a constant worrier and worker bee who is rushing around to get everything done and ordering everyone around.  She’s outraged that everyone around her is plain lazy (or incompetent) and she’s always saying, “Do I have to do everything myself?”

She brings home the bacon and fries it up in a pan.  She's taking care of her family -- both emotionally and financially -- and she wonders when someone is going to take care of her instead!  She’s keeping score of who’s doing what (and who’s not doing what), and she’s always nagging at someone. 

Sound like anyone you know?  I get stressed out just watching her.  Maybe because she hits too close to home.

Unlike Martha, Mary is calm and laid back, sitting at Jesus’ feet.  How does Mary get anything done?  And why does she let Martha do all the work?   

I don’t think Mary is lazy -- she just has her priorities ordered.  She works smarter, not harder.  And when the guest of honor arrives in her home, she knows better than to run around and try to impress him.  Instead, she just sits and listens.

Mary knows how to delegate. She orders the schedule. The schedule doesn’t order her. When her meeting cancels unexpectedly, she stops and gets a pedicure. And when her kids don’t have school in the morning, she lets them stay up late and eat popcorn.

She’s known to change plans.

So many of us want to live like Mary but we feel trapped in Martha’s world. 

I am a type B person trapped in a type A life.  I have a type A job, wear type A clothes, and live in a type A neighborhood.  My family’s daily routine has just about no spontaneity let alone flexibility.  Everything we do revolves around the “schedule” -- homework, play dates, after school activities, and scheduled appointments. If it’s not on the schedule, you might as well forget it!

Like Mary, I want to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen. 

But is it possible to live like Mary in a modern-day world? 

Martha probably asked the same question.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Stuck Or Strong?

Abigail is one of my favorite women of the Bible.  (After all, I named my third born after her!)

I am struck by Abigail for the following reasons:  1)  Abigail’s lousy situation;  2)  Abigail’s brave response; and 3)  God’s ultimate provision.

1)  Abigail’s lousy situation.

Abigail is smart and beautiful, but she’s (unfortunately) married to a jerk.  Samuel describes it like this.
“She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband [Nabal] was surly and mean in all his dealings.”  (v.3)

We can assume that Nabal was likewise a jerk to Abigail.  Was he always a jerk, or did he turn mean after they married?  We’ll never know.  What we do know is that she was stuck in a bad situation that was about to get worse.

Nabal was so stubborn and stingy that he wouldn’t even compensate David for protecting his property.  This angered David, who vowed he would not “leave one male alive of all who belong to him!” (v. 22)

In other words, destruction would soon descend on the house of Nabal.  One of Nabal’s servants warned Abigail the evening before David’s army would attack, pleading with her to take action.

What’s a woman to do when her husband won’t respond to the voice of reason, and she knows her household is about to be destroyed?

2)  Abigail’s brave response.

“Abigail lost no time.” (v. 18)  She takes matters into her own hands.  While Nabal is unaware and drunk, she packs up food and gifts and rides on her donkey to meet David.

She puts herself in harm’s way – she pleads for peace when David and his men are ready to fight.
And she doesn’t just act.  She takes responsibility for her entire household.

“My lord, let the blame be on me alone.  Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say.  May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal.  He is just like his name – his name is Fool and folly goes with him.”  (v. 25)

Notice what Abigail doesn’t do. 

She doesn’t make excuses for Nabal or pretend that everything is “fine.”  She also doesn’t say, “There’s nothing I can do, my household is doomed.”

She also doesn’t try try to harm Nabal.  Don’t think it didn’t cross her mind!  Maybe she thought about poisoning him in his sleep.  She doesn’t even plead to God, “Strike my husband dead!” 

Instead, she influences the situation for good.  She looks at where she can make a difference.  She acts swiftly and decisively. 

3)  God’s ultimate provision.

Did Abigail honor God with her actions?  I think she did.  She acted with grace and honor and left the results to God.

God likewise honored Abigail.

After Abigail saved the day (and Nabal sobered up) she went back and told Nabal what had happened.  He had a heart attack.  Ten days later, he died.

You guessed it, when David learned of Nabal’s death, he “sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife.”  (v. 40)

Did Abigail live happily ever after?  I don’t know exactly.  But I do know that God provided for her in her time of need. 

******

I don’t know your situation.  It might be lousy.  But learn from Abigail and use your influence for good.  Instead of an attitude that says, I'm stuck, there's nothing I can do, Abigail teaches us that, even in the midst of what appears to be a hopeless situation, we can act in faith.  Instead of being stuck, we can be strong.



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Sunday, June 5, 2011

Kids And The Devil

I was putting my girls to bed the other night when Abby (age 5) asked, “Is the Devil real?”

I gave my lawyer answer and tried to punt.  After all, what parent wants to be up with her kids before bed (they're already afraid of the dark) talking about the Devil. 

“We don’t need to worry about the Devil, sweetie.”

She wasn’t satisfied.

If you’re reading this, chances are you may not have resolved the question in your own mind.  Most Americans don’t believe in the Devil.  And this includes many Christians.

In a 2009 Study of the Barna Group, four out of ten Christians (40%) strongly agreed that Satan “is not a living being but is a symbol of evil.” An additional two out of ten Christians (19%) said they “agree somewhat” with that perspective. A minority of Christians indicated that they believe Satan is real by disagreeing with the statement: one-quarter (26%) disagreed strongly and about one-tenth (9%) disagreed somewhat. The remaining 8% were not sure what they believe about the existence of Satan.

Let’s face it, believing in the Devil in our culture is kind of like believing in the Easter Bunny.  (My kids are scared of him, too!)  After all, what parent wants to tell her child that an evil, powerful being seeks to destroy her faith and ultimately her soul?  Not me. 

It would have been much easier to say, “No honey, he’s not real.  Just go to sleep.” 

But being a parent isn’t about taking the easy way out. 

Given that I personally believe the Devil is real (no, I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny), I couldn’t continue to dodge the bullet.  So I answered Abby very matter of fact, the best way I knew how.

“Yes, the Devil is real.  He hates God and wants you to hate God too.  But God is stronger.”

You know the next set of questions.

“Where does he live?  Can he get me?  Where is he right now?”

Great, I thought to myself.  This is going to be a fun night of sleep.

“I really don’t know where he lives.  I do know that God is stronger.  God can beat him up.  So, if I follow God I don’t have to worry about the Devil hurting me.  He can never ever take my soul.  God protects us.”

Abby seemed satisfied as she blurted out in her favorite condescending tone:

“The Devil is dumb and stupid.  And I hate him!  If I saw him, I’d punch him in the face!”

She slept all night without disturbing mom.