Santa Baby

Nick and I went out late the other night (after his younger sisters were asleep) to get a jump start on our Christmas shopping. It was the first time we’d been alone in awhile, and I figured it was the time to break the news about Santa.

After all, Nick’s in the third grade now, and I really want him to hear the truth from me, not from the other kids in his class who will probably make fun of him if he still believes in Santa. Besides, I was ready for Nick to really get past all the presents, elves, and reindeer and focus on the real meaning of Christmas. Let’s face it, Santa is known to steal the show from the baby Jesus. One of my favorite episodes of Saturday Night Live is where the Church Lady demonizes Santa and even points out that Santa and Satan have the exact same letters. Could it be more than coincidence?


One of my friends told me about her recollection of sitting on Santa’s lap in the shopping mall, smelling alcohol on his breath, and remembering that he got a little too close when he asked her if she had been a good girl last year. She was completely terrified, and the last thing she wanted was for him to come visit her house when her parents were sleeping. Fortunately, I don’t have any Santa trauma in my past. I really don’t have anything against the guy, but it was just time for Nick to know the truth.

So I started the conversation by asking Nick, “Do the kids in your class believe in Santa?”

It was a short conversation. Nick told me that no one in the third grade believes in Santa anymore and that he really doesn’t either. I asked him when he stopped believing in Santa, and he told me that last year when Doug and I had screwed up the wrapping paper and Abby received two pairs of the same shoes, he figured out that Santa would have never made such mistakes. After all, Santa is supposed to be perfect. Parents are human.

Nick agreed that this year he’ll just focus on celebrating the birth of Christ and let his younger sisters continue to believe in Santa until they’re old enough to understand. For now, Santa Baby is our secret.