Does God Care About Trick-or-Treat?

Does God care about Trick-or-Treat?

I happen to think he does.

No, this isn’t a post about whether Halloween is evil or whether God approves of Trick-or-Treat (I’ll save that for next year).

This post is about prayer.

I told my kids about a month ago that I would be gone for Trick-or-Treat.

“I’m so sorry guys, but Mom will be out of town for work.  I’ll try to plan around it next year.  Dad will take you around, and you’ll still have fun.”

They weren’t happy. (About this same time Nick announced that he was never going to be a lawyer – that he’d rather be a “stay-at-home dad, like Dad.”)

So Anna started to pray.  Every night, at bedtime, she would finish, “And please God, we pray that Mom will be at Trick-or-Treat.”

Talk about a guilt trip. 

I almost told her to stop praying about it.  The meeting had been scheduled for months.  It would never be cancelled.  Besides, there are more important things to be praying about.

Then, it happened.  For reasons completely outside of my control, my schedule changed.  And I found myself home for Trick-or-Treat last night.

I think I had more fun than the kids.  Our whole street lit up, and the evening turned into a block party.  We stayed up too late and ate too much candy. 

But my favorite thing about Trick-or-Treat wasn’t the neighbors, the fun, or the candy.

It was answered prayer.  

Who says God doesn't care about Trick-or-Treat?

What’s Your Major?

 
What was your college major?  And did you end up taking a different path? 

That's the question today on Working Mommy Wednesday.

I have a short answer and a long answer.

First, the short answer.

I majored in political science and minored in history.  And I loved every minute of it.  I could have stayed in college forever.  Which is why I didn’t get a real job after graduation.  Instead, I went to law school.  (And, for the record, law school isn’t nearly as fun as college.)  But I do love practicing law.

That was the short answer.

There’s also a longer answer – there’s more to the story.

I didn’t just major in political science in college.  I had something else up my sleeve.  Something more important.

In college, I majored in Jesus.

That’s right.  College was a defining moment for my spiritual journey.  I decided in college that I was going to follow a guy with long hair and sandals who said he was God.  A guy who walked the earth over 2000 years ago and gave his life for others.  A guy who claimed to raise from the dead.

I had always believed in Jesus.  But college is when I decided I was going to take him seriously.  He became my major for almost 4 years.

But that was almost 20 years ago.

If you looked at my life today, what would you say I am majoring in? 

Law?

Motherhood?

Writing?

The American Dream?

I’m not sure you would say I’m majoring in Jesus.  As much as I want to major in Jesus, life has become so complicated.  Most days, he gets crowded out by other demands.  Most days, he’s a minor – not a major.

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The fact of the matter is, we’re all majoring in something.

When people look at your life, what would they say is your major?

Are You Losing It?

Do you ever feel like you’re losing it?  If so, you're not alone.

Last week, I was getting ready for work when Anna pulled out a note in her back pack and exclaimed, “Mom, I didn’t know you were volunteering today!”

I didn’t know either.  I had apparently forgotten about helping out in second grade.

How am I going to swing this when I’m getting ready to go out of town?

Anna continued, “Mommy, I’m so excited for you to come to my class.  What time are you going to be there?”

I couldn’t say no.

“I’ll have to call your teacher, Anna.  It depends on what time she needs me.”

Anna was so excited she could hardly contain herself.  I headed into the office, trying to figure out how I was going to be two places at once.  I left Anna’s teacher an email.  I left her a voicemail.  I finally tracked down the school secretary and found out I needed to be there at 12:15 p.m. – right after lunch.

I had exactly two hours and thirty minutes to accomplish eight hours of work.

So I kicked into scary-high gear.  Scary-high gear doesn’t happen very often, but look out when it does.  Don’t get in my way.  Don’t interrupt me.  And don’t expect me to be rational. 

By 11:30, I was on fire (and running ahead of schedule).  I called a couple of co-workers to load several boxes of documents into my car and announced I would be back in the office in a few days.

The only problem?

I couldn’t find my car keys. 

So we looked everywhere.  A team of people helped me turn my office upside down.  We looked in the conference room.  The bathroom.  My secretary called security.  She next called the coffee shop in our building.  I looked in my car.

It was 11:50 a.m.  Still no keys.

I started to panic.

Anna is going to think I’ve forgotten about her.  I’m going to be late.  Quick, I need a car.  Somebody call a cab.  I need to get to the grade school.

Another lawyer-mom knew I was desperate and offered her keys.  I had to move fast.  I’ll deal with the boxes later.  I’ll just have to delay my trip.  Then, I heard a voice inside of me.  Check your purse again.

Right there.  Right in my purse, I found my car keys.

I looked at the blank stares around me, and I knew what my colleagues were thinking.  She’s officially losing it.

They were right.  I’m not afraid to admit when I’m losing it.  It only happens once or twice a year.  I’m not sure it’s preventable, so I’m not going to try to blog about any “lessons learned.”

Instead, I’d like hear how you know when you’re losing it.

Please tell me I’m not alone.

Is A Clean House Overrated?

I really hate to clean.  I can think of about a thousand other things I would like to do.  Like pulling out my eyelashes one by one.

Ok, maybe cleaning isn’t that bad.  Besides, my husband, Doug, is a clean freak.  He tends to keep our house in order.

Last week, I was talking to my Artist Sister, and I could tell she was really stressed out.  She has this showing coming up at the university where she works.   She said to me, “I really need to get painting.  I’m just not going to be able to clean the house this week!”

My response?  “Don’t worry about cleaning the house.  Have your husband do it.”

She started laughing over the phone.

Most guys don’t like to clean.  But not Doug.

As I was talking to her on the phone, I started coughing from the fumes.  Doug was cleaning the kitchen again.  He is obsessed with this all-purpose kitchen cleaner, and I keep saying to him, “Your going to kill us with all these chemicals!”  I even went out and bought the echo-friendly kitchen cleaner (the kind that's not supposed to kill you) but it still makes my nose burn.

I know.  I know.  I shouldn’t complain.  I should be thankful that he has such high standards.

You’re never going to convince me that “cleanliness is next to godliness” but I’m the first to admit it’s pretty nice to live in a clean house. 

What do you think, is a clean house overrated? 

Maybe the key is to have someone else do the cleaning.  Have a good weekend!

What’s In Your Purse?

 
My purse is a mystery.

To start, I can never find it.  My girls are obsessed with my purse (I stopped counting how many tubes of lipstick have been destroyed by little people!) and I usually end up finding my purse in the most unusual places.  Like the bathtub.

I know.  I know.  I should just say NO!  “Hands off Mommy’s purse!”

But my girls are intrigued by the mystery.  So am I.  You never know what you’re going to find in my purse.
Just for kicks, I'll tell you what’s in my purse today.  I don’t even know yet.  Here goes:

• Wallet
• Blackberry
• Lipstick
• Old napkins from Panera
• Chocolate wrappers (3 to be exact)
• Business cards from people I’ve met on airplanes 
• A granola bar
• Receipts
• Expired coupons
• Post-it notes (including addresses of people I’ve met at book events; notes from a conference call I took on the road; and random ideas for blog posts)
• A flash drive
• Three pens, one pencil, and one highlighter
• Part of a broken toy

There, that wasn’t so bad.

Are you brave enough to tell me what’s in your purse?  And, for the record, this post isn’t just for women.  I hear that “Man Purses” are the new rage!  (No, I can’t convince Doug to carry one.)

Cookies For Kids

Before bed, my 4-year-old Abby prays, “Dear God, help all the kids in the world to have food, water, and cookies.”

Her older sister, Anna, interrupts her.

“Abby, you can’t pray for cookies.  All the kids in the world don’t have toothbrushes.  They’re going to get cavities!”

Abby is quick to respond.

“Dear God, I pray that all the kids in the world would have toothbrushes.”

I try not to laugh.  I can almost see God smiling.

Have you ever been reluctant to ask God for something big, just because you think he can’t provide something little?

I think about this for awhile after I put Abby to bed.

Sometimes, I assume God won’t answer my prayers.  So I don’t even ask.  Or I ask for something that I know is within reach.  I make sure my prayers are “logical.”

But then I wonder, is faith really supposed to be logical?  Are we limiting God by settling for crumbs when he really wants to give us cookies?

So I picture all the children of the world eating cookies.  And it’s beautiful. 

You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.  Matt 17:20 (NLT)

How Do You Deal With Workplace Stress?

 
Today, at Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re answering the following question:  What do you do when you get overwhelmed at work?

In other words, how do you handle workplace stress?

For me, workplace stress invokes three predictable coping strategies:  Coffee, Potty Mouth, and Prayer.

Coping mechanism #1:  Coffee.  Coffee is key.  And when I get stressed, more coffee is key.  I am known to run on caffeine and shear adrenaline for days.  Who said anything about regular nutrition and self care? 

I’ll be sitting in a meeting -- working on a tight deadline – and I’ll turn to my colleagues and say, “How would you like to step out and get some coffee?”

Coffee helps me think.

And it’s not just the coffee.  It’s the 5-minute walk out of the office.  It’s the fresh air.  It’s taking a moment to be human.

A coffee break helps me put things in perspective and get outside of the four walls of my office.

Coping mechanism #2:  Potty mouth.   As much as I hate to admit it, stress in my life invokes potty mouth.  And something about using strong language – calling it like it is – feels good in the moment. 

It’s a release.

The other day, a nameless opposing counsel was being extremely annoying.   And there were no PG words to describe his behavior (I looked hard for them – ok, maybe not that hard, but you get the point). 
Sometimes, you need to call a spade a spade.

I’m not saying it’s right.  It’s just my reality. 

Coping mechanism #3:  Prayer.  I’d like to say that I pray first, but I’d be lying.  When I’m at work, prayer is often at the bottom of the list. 

So when my caffeine and potty mouth aren’t working, I think to myself, Oh yeah, I guess I could pray about it, huh?

Why don’t I pray first?  I’m really not sure.  Maybe it’s because I think God doesn’t care about my work.  God, do you really want me to pray about document productions and jury verdicts?  Maybe it’s because I work in such a secular environment.  God, sometimes I just can’t see any evidence of spiritual activity around me.  Maybe it’s because I’m human.  God, I’m sorry I don’t come to you first, frankly I tend to forget.

Sometimes, workplace stress brings out the worst in me.  Other times, it brings out the best in me.  I’m guessing I’m not alone.

********

So, how do you deal with workplace stress?

Hate Mail

On Friday, we talked about Fan Mail.  It’s Monday. And Monday is a good time to tackle the hard issues.  So today we’re addressing a more difficult topic: hate mail. 

I’ve written about Dealing With Negative Feedback before.  But hate mail is different.  Hate mail isn’t constructive, it’s destructive.  It’s one thing to disagree with someone.  It’s another thing to tear them apart.

Every writer who says something slightly provocative or controversial is a target for hate mail.  And hate mail can come in many forms – including blog posts, anononoymous comments, emails, and letters.  Hate mail never intends to start a discussion.  The goal is to silence.

Let me give you a hypothetical. 

Hate-Mail Helen reads Chasing Superwoman, and she thinks I’m evil.  She posts on her blog that I’m an unfit mother, declares that I’m not a real “Christian” and she even attacks my children.

Should I respond?

As I see it, here are my options. 

1.  Ignore Helen.  I don’t have to engage.  Hate-Mail Helen probably just wants attention.  And she doesn’t want to have a dialogue.  So I shouldn’t respond.  Instead, I can seek support from people I respect and trust.  At the end of the day, I don’t answer to Helen. 

2.  Respond directly. I can also confront Helen. I can call her on the carpet – and I can even take an army of bloggers with me!  We can post thoughtful yet pointed comments on her blog.  Or I can write her a private email, explaining that I’m really not Evil Mommy (it was just a joke in the book), and she shouldn’t be so judgmental. 

3.  Respond indirectly.  Maybe I won’t post a comment on Helen’s blog.  Instead, I’ll write a few of my own posts to address Helen’s comments. I’ll talk about how deep my faith is, and how my kids are really well-adjusted and obedient (at least most of the time).  We can even poke some fun at Helen’s comments – just to show how silly they really are. 

4.  Write a response, but don’t send it.  This may be my favorite option.  The lawyer in me really wants to respond to Helen.  But I know there’s probably no point.  I know it’s wrong to strike back.  But I really want to have the last word.  I want to set the record straight, even if no one will read it.

I’ll have to admit, I really don’t like any of these options.  Probably because I really don’t like hate mail.

How would you respond to Hate-Mail Helen?

Fan Mail

Writers live for fan mail.  And even though we try not to exist for the approval of others, it sure feels good when someone says, “You’re a really great writer” or “You really helped me think about this in a new way.”
I have a folder that I keep of “fans” – people who have gone out of their way to encourage me on my writing journey.  Some of them I’ve never met.  Some of them I haven’t talked to in years.  But I consider them all dear friends.

Today, I thought I’d share about a special relationship I’ve developed with a woman named Linda.

Linda isn’t a blogger.  She isn’t a writer.  And she isn’t a working mom.

Linda is a devoted wife, mother, and grandma.  And her daughter-in-law works in a fast-paced career with small children.  So when she heard about Chasing Superwoman, she reached out to me and said, “I get it!  You have my full support!”

I met Linda at my first book signing in North Canton, Ohio.  And we became instant friends.  Linda sends me encouraging emails.  She prays for me.  And when I’m really struggling, I know I can reach out to Linda for support and say, “Help, I need a few extra prayers today!”

In fact, some days when I wonder – Why do I keep writing these posts? Who the heck is going to read this anyway? – I think about Linda.  Linda will read this.  Linda is listening.  Linda is cheering me on.
We all need a Linda, don’t we?

(If you’re thinking --Wow, this is really a touchy-feely post -- don’t worry.  We’ll be coming back to reality on Monday when we talk about hate mail.  Have a good weekend!)

Top Ten Reasons To Read I’m Outnumbered! (Plus, A Give-Away)

Today, on Working Mommy Wednesday, we’re sharing top ten lists.  And I couldn’t think of a better place to share the top ten reasons to read I’m Outnumbered! One Mom’s Lessons in the Lively Art of Raising Boys, by Laura Lee Groves.

1.  Laura is a fellow working mom.  As an English teacher and mother of four boys (that’s right four boys), Laura is a kindred spirit to busy, overworked mothers.
2.  The tone is spiritual yet realistic. I’m Outnumbered is written from a biblical perspective.  But I also didn’t find it to be overly preachy or unrealistic.  Laura acknowledges that no parents are perfect, and we all need God’s grace to get us through the journey. 
3.  Laura speaks from the heart.  In fact, Laura is pretty transparent and vulnerable about her own journey – including lessons learns and teachable moments.
4.  Nothing beats experience.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand getting parenting advice from people who haven’t been in the trenches.  (Like, “Gee, I read that you should ignore your child when he has a tantrum.”)  Laura speaks from a wealth of experience. 
5.  Laura offers lots of practical tips.  I’m Outnumbered doesn’t just give advice – it gives examples, resources, and creative parenting ideas.  (Yeah, it’s also a nice compliment to Chasing Superwoman, which by my own admission is more of a rant than an instruction manual.)
6.  Finally, a female voice about boys!  A handful of books have already been written about raising boys.  But few if any are from a female perspective.  (As someone who grew up with all sisters, I really need that female perspective!)
7.  Her sons actually contribute to the book.  One of my favorite parts of the book is where Laura’s sons provide first-hand insight.  (See Chapter 10 – A Word From The Boys.)  It’s one thing to talk about raising boys – but it’s another thing to actually hear from them directly!
8.  Help promote a new author.  This is Laura’s first book.  And first-time authors are always looking for creative ways to get the word out.  Once you read I’m Outnumbered, please consider passing it along to a friend or doing your own book review.
9.  We all need mentors.  I’m always looking for mentors on my parenting journey.  And I love connecting with moms I respect – especially when they’re a couple of steps ahead of me.  Laura is one of those moms!  Her blog is also a great source of encouragement. 
10.  I’ll send you a copy!  Last but certainly not least, I’d love to send you a copy.  By posting a comment on my blog before 5:00 p.m. Sunday, you can enter a drawing to win a free copy.  (Winners win be announced in the comment section of this post Sunday evening.)

Happy Wednesday, and thanks Laura for writing I’m Outnumbered!

Which Disciple Are You?

Just like there are different kinds of people, there are different kinds of disciples.  (For purposes of this post, I’m using the term “disciple” to refer to people who follow Jesus.)

Consider three different disciples who followed Jesus:  Peter, Thomas, and Phillip. 

We’ll start with Peter.  Peter is always jumping in head first.  He acts without thinking.  He’s extremely zealous, and because he’s impulsive by nature he makes lots of mistakes. 

Peter likes action.  He’s the guy (or gal) who thinks, Wow, walking on water looks pretty cool, I think I’ll give it a try.  But then he gets in over his head, loses sight of Jesus, and falls in.  At least none of us would accuse Peter of standing still.

Thomas, on the other hand, is slow to act.  You have to push Thomas into the water.  He doesn’t like to get wet.

In addition, Thomas has to see it to believe it.  And even when he sees it, it’s still so hard to believe.  Thomas is thoughtful and deliberate.  He’s not going to drink the Kool-Aid without reading the ingredients and doing some research.  Yet when Thomas is convinced, you know it’s for real.

Finally, Phillip has a completely different style all together.  Phillip isn’t afraid to experience his faith.  He longs to be in the middle of spiritual activity, and he tends to bring others along on his journey.  For Phillip, faith is relational.  He’s not afraid to jump in the water, but he might just take you with him. 

Most of us are some combination of Peter, Thomas, or Phillip.  When I first heard it explained this way, I thought, Which disciple am I?  Then I thought about my closest family and friends and thought,  Which disciple are they?  Then I immediately thought, Which disciple is the best?

I started to miss the point. 

Peter, Thomas, and Phillip all approached Jesus with unique backgrounds, strengths, and weaknesses.  Yes, we can learn from them.  But thank God they’re different.

Do any of them sound familiar? 

******

So, which disciple are you?

Join Me To Support Breast Cancer Research Today At Huffman’s Market

The books are ready.

My mother's sauce is cooking (click here for the recipe).

The gift bags are being prepared.

Yeah, and we also have a few surprises up our sleeves! 

But that’s not the best news. 

The best news is that 100% of the proceeds from book sales at Huffman’s Market today will go to support breast cancer research!

This October marks the 26th anniversary of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  And Tim and Glenda Huffman, together with Chasing Superwoman, are passionate about raising awareness and finding a cure!

It’s not about the books.  It’s not about the sauce.  It’s not about the olive oil or the wine.  It’s not even about the ice cream for kids.

Sure, we’re going to have lots of fun.  But we’re coming together for a bigger purpose!

So join me today at Huffman’s Market from 3:00 to 6:30 p.m.

What about those of you who are out of town?  Well, you’re part of this event too.  In fact, anyone who posts a comment on the blog between now and 6:00 a.m. Monday morning will be eligible for a drawing to win a copy of Chasing Superwoman or a gift from Huffman’s Market.  (Just make sure you indicate in your comment whether you would like to be in the drawing for the “book” or the “gift.")

See you later today.  We’ll be posting updates on Twitter throughout the evening!