Work, Love, Pray: Practical Wisdom For Young Professional Christian Women

 

 “If I was really serving God, I wouldn’t be spending my days in high heels and a business suit. I’d find something more spiritual to do – like serving my family or volunteering at my church.  Right?”

Can you relate to this statement?  Even if you can’t, unfortunately, many Christian women can.  Most of us know a young Christian woman who is struggling to figure out how she will balance her career, family, and faith.  And she might even feel marginalized in the church, just because she works outside the home. 

Here’s my answer.  Give her a copy of Work, Love, Pray.

This newly released book by executive Diane Paddison helps working women answer the question:  Can I be the woman God intended – even the wife and mother God intended – while striving to excel in my career?

Paddison not only tackles this question, she answers it with a resounding “yes”! 

Here’s what I liked about the book.  It encourages women to stop whining and start taking action – like seeking out mentors and making smart career choices.

From dual-career families to negotiating with your boss, Paddison hits the hot buttons facing women in the workplace.  And despite her enormous success in business, she isn’t preachy or condescending.  She’s quick to admit her failures and recognizes that God places each of us in unique circumstances.

Here’s another thing I loved about the book.  Work, Love, Pray offers dozens of examples of the successes, failures, and lessons learned from other women on the journey.  Including women who have “failed” in business. Women who have been abandoned by a spouse or have unexpectedly lost a family member. Women who have lost it “all” – yet have persevered in faith to rise above their circumstances to live out their God-given talents.

The only thing I didn’t like about this book?

It didn’t exist 20 years ago.  I could have really used the advice!  In fact, Paddison has founded 4Word, a national nonprofit designed to connect, lead, and support young professional Christian women.  Check out the 4Word website here.

Who do you know who can benefit from Work, Love, Pray?

Say No To Cell Phones And Yes To Prayer!

Mobile phones are sucking the life right out of us.  Present company included.  (Yeah, I’m an addict.)

From distracted drivers to texting during family meals and business meetings, we’re zoned out and checked out way too often.

Amber Binkertation is putting her mobile phone in the trunk whenever she drives this week!

Heather Sunseri was rightfully annoyed when iPhone cameras recently dominated a wedding ceremony.

I was recently stunned by texting during a funeral.

We don’t even try to hide it.   And we need help.  We need an intervention.  Which is why – for this week – I’m going to say “no” to my cell phone and yes to prayer.

No, I’m not getting rid of my mobile phone.  I legitimately need it for my job and family.  But I don’t need to be talking while I’m driving.  I don’t need to be walking around airports with my earpiece.  And I don’t need to be texting during breakfast.  (Note to self:  I am really annoying when I walk around with my earpiece.)

Here’s where prayer fits in.  I’m going to take all that unnecessary “phone time” this week and pray instead.  Which means I’ll have a few extra hours of prayer in my schedule.

Care to join me?

Blessings From A One-Star Review

I love writing.  And I love writing about writing.  Which is why I’m posting today over at the WordServe Water Cooler.

The topic?  How I benefited from a one-star review.  No kidding.  Click here and find out the three reasons criticism can make you strong.

Have some extra time this weekend?  Check out a few of my favorite posts this week:

• Introvert Marketing in an Extrovert Market by Olivia Newport.
• Three Blunders That Can Kill Your Author Platform by Kristen Lamb.
• Three Things To Do When Your Career Hurts You by Claire Burge.

Have a great weekend all!

Why I Changed My Name

Why did I change the name of my blog?  Not to mention I’ve changed my Twitter name from @LawyerMommy to @SusanDiMickele.  Is Lawyer Mommy dead?  Done?  Looking for a new identity?

It’s a good question.  And some of you have asked. 

As you may know, I’m pretty new in this writing business.  I’m a first-time author, and I’ve been blogging for less than two years.  So I try to pay attention to the experts in the business, like my agent Rachelle Gardner and social media guru Kristen Lamb, who advise us authors to use our published NAME when we write.  (For example, check out Kristen’s post this week on Jane Friedman’s blog.)

But just because I’m told to do something doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.  So I’ve thought about this “branding issue” for myself and I’ve concluded that it makes sense to use my full name as a writer for two main reasons:  1)  My name isn’t going to change; and 2) My name is who I am.

My Name Isn’t Going to Change

I’ve been married for almost 20 years.  I took my husband’s name shortly before law school and never looked back.  A couple of years ago, I thought about running for political office and the powers that be told me my Maiden name, Moore, would be more “ballot friendly.”  My husband agreed (plus, being a private person, he didn’t want his name smeared in a campaign).

“Suz, you really should have kept your maiden name.”

Gee honey, it’s a little late for that, don’t you think!

The fact of the matter is, I’m not changing my name.  I’m Susan DiMickele (pronounced “De-Michael”).  Period.

It sounds terribly simple, but it’s true.  Lots of things in life change – our careers, relationships, goals – but our names generally stick with us.

Plus, I’m terribly indecisive.  Case in point.  In less than two years, I’ve changed the name of my blog two times.  (Sorry, I’m not a branding genius. Remember I said I was new at this?)

My Name Is Who I Am

My name is no secret.  I’m easy to find.  I have a public profile as a lawyer and a public profile as an author.  Same name.  Same person.  (Not to mention I’ve already published Chasing Superwoman under Susan DiMickele.) 

If I was really clever, I would have published under my Maiden name (or under a trendy pen name), but I’m not that smart.  I tend to let it all hang out there.  Like it or not.  It’s me.  My name is who I am.

And I thank God some things in life don’t change!

Have you ever wrestled with the use of your name for a creative or artistic endeavor?

How To Make Time For a Prayer Partner!

“As much as I would love to pray with a partner, I need to be realistic.  I don’t have enough time to pray by myself.  How the heck am I going to arrange getting together with someone else?"

Excuses, excuses.  Yes, I’ve heard them all.  I’ve used them all myself.

By now, you should be convinced you need a Prayer Maven.  And even if you don’t have a Maven in mind, you know that God will use two or three who are gathered together.

So, your heart is saying you need a prayer partner, but your head is saying you don’t have time.

My answer?

1)  We need to be creative; and
2)  It’s going to be inconvenient for someone.

We need to be creative.

I used to think I needed a special prayer room and an uninterrupted hour in my day to pray with someone else.

Note to self:  It will never happen!

Being creative means looking at our schedules and finding a few holes.  Getting up early.  Staying up late.  Praying on the treadmill; in the coffee shop; on the sidelines at the soccer game.

Now, if we are going to pray with partners, it should be at a regular time and place.  My Prayer Maven and I meet every Wednesday morning, by telephone, during my morning commute.  It’s usually only 30-45 minutes.  And it works!

It’s going to be inconvenient for someone.

Did I mention that my Prayer Maven gets up at 5:00 a.m. to pray with me?  She’s on West Coast time, and, yes, she’d rather be sleeping.  But instead she makes the sacrifice. (This is why I highly recommend praying with a Maven.  Notice that she is the one who is inconvenienced in this relationship!)

The bottom line is that prayer is hard work – something we’ll talk more about next week.  But it’s worth it. 

How will you make time for a prayer partner? 

Are you praying for that Prayer Maven?

What Makes Your Day?

A couple of weeks ago, my cell phone died an unexpected death and I asked, What Ruins Your Day?  Well, since then, I’ve had a bit of an attitude adjustment, and I’d like to ask a different question.

What makes your day? 

Is it the big things?  The little things?  The expected?  The unexpected?

Here’s an unexpected dose of grace that made my Friday.

To the gratest mom in the world!

From you dater Anna.

Dear mom,

I love you with my holl hart! Anyway, I’m so ecited that its Friyday, and I get to spend time with you!  When Nicks gone at his sleepover, and were here, we should think of something fun! Like having girls night out, or watch a movie.  Something like that!

Love,

Anna
************

What makes your day?  Just as important, what can we do today to make somebody else’s day? 

Does Prayer Work At Work?

Do you forget to pray at work?  I have to admit, I often doubt that God cares about conference calls and billable hours.  Sometimes, I think prayer doesn’t even matter in the office.  Right?

Wrong.

Ok, I’ll have to admit. I usually pray at work when I am really desperate.  Like when someone is driving me crazy and I think I’m going to jump off a cliff.  Like when I know I can’t meet a deadline unless time freezes.  Like when my skirt rips on the way to court. 

Can anyone relate?

A couple of years ago, I decided to ask God. Do you really care about this situation at the office, God, because I don’t feel like you do?  And I don’t see a way around it.  But I’m going to trust and pray.  By the way, I’m only giving you 30 days.  I can’t take it any longer than that!

Here’s what happened.  I committed not to complain and instead PRAY for 30 days about a difficult situation at work.

At first, I wasn’t sure I could do it.  I love to complain.  I love to be the martyr.  And if I prayed about it, maybe God would ask me to change.  I wasn’t sure I could live with that.

But when you’re really desperate, you sometimes get over yourself.

The result? 

In less than 30 days, I received an unexpected, unsolicited apology note from a colleague who had really hurt me.  God provided something I would have never asked for or even imagined.  God blew me away.  And I was just asking him to help me survive.

God, why don’t I ask you to intervene at work more often?

Are you struggling at work?  Try the 30-day prayer challenge.  And PLEASE let me know what happens, ok?

Why You Need A Prayer Maven

Are you in a prayer rut? Maybe you don’t have the time. You lack motivation. You have no energy.

But you really want to pray.  Right?  You really need to pray.

In addition to a kick in the pants and a healthy dose of the Holy Spirit, may I make suggestion?  You might just need a prayer partner.  Heck, you don’t just need a prayer partner.  You need a Prayer Maven!

You may not be familiar with this term, so I’ll do my best to explain.  A Maven is an expert in a particular field who seeks to pass knowledge on to others.  (For a great discussion of Mavens generally, check out Kristen Lamb’s Blog here.) 

Now, back to a Prayer Maven. Naturally, a Prayer Maven is an expert on prayer.  She’s passionate about prayer. She prays, and she just doesn’t go through the motions. She believes in prayer.  But she doesn’t stop there.  She seeks to pass this knowledge on to other people.  She doesn’t want to keep the joy of prayer to herself.


I am blessed to know a couple of Prayer Mavens, including my own dear mother.  But for purposes of this post (and the related posts that will follow), I’m going to tell you about my sister.  My sister Amy is a textbook Maven.


How do you spot a Maven?

Here are a few clues.  When Amy finds a bargain, she doesn’t keep it to herself.  She calls everyone she knows. In fact, she’ll even buy you the last pair of shoes that are on sale, just in case you want them. (She’ll gladly take them back later; she genuinely doesn’t want you to miss out.)  Amy does the same thing when it comes to food and health choices.  Once she found some luney holistic doctor and she sent me every article he ever wrote, completely unsolicited.  She’s always looking out for your best interest.

Get the point?

Ok, now translate the above to a Prayer Maven.  Amy is crazy about prayer.  Which means she doesn’t just want to pray for you, she wants to pray with you.  She’s not one of those prayer partners who gets together just to talk about herself or vent or complain.  She’s going to limit the fluff talk and help you focus on prayer.  Which makes the perfect recipe for a prayer partner.  And since God promises that where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them, you’re in business!

Do you know a Prayer Maven?  Maybe it’s time to ask God to put one in your life!


And don’t worry, you don’t need a Prayer Maven to get started.  God will honor the prayers of a regular Joe or Jane when we come together in faith.

[We’ll keep talking about prayer partners later this month.]

Good News For Coffee Addicts!

I love to finish out the week with good news, don’t you?  And this little nugget of information is music to my ears.  Coffee is actually good for you!

In case you haven’t heard, a new study from the Harvard School of Public Health shows that caffeine-drinking coffee-guzzling women have a lower risk of depression.

No, I’m not making this up!

Here are some highlights from the study:

• Women who drink two to three cups of coffee per day are 15% less likely to develop depression compared to those who drink a maximum of one cup of per week.
• Women who drink at least four cups per day have a 20% lower risk of depression than the “one cup per week” group.

In other words, it’s better to drink four cups a day than one cup a week!

I know, I’m getting carried away.  But can you blame me?  After all, it’s Friday.

Have you had your four cups today?

[I was going to blog about prayer today, but I got side tracked.  I know.  Excuses, excuses.  So I’m hitting prayer hard next week.  Will you join me?  You can bring your coffee!]

Need A Radical Sabbatical?

If you’re a working mom (or dad) you may have noticed that “The Schedule” is slightly out of control.  That’s putting it mildly, isn’t it?  If your schedule is like mine, it’s a freight train without brakes.

The train has left the station and there’s no stopping it now.

Right?

Maybe not.  Just wait a minute.  There’s someone out there who has activated the emergency brake.  Yes, I’m hear to tell you that it’s possible (even beneficial) to step back and take a radical sabbatical.

Meet Joanne Kraft.

This brave (slightly crazy?) working mother of four decided to pull the plug for an entire year on all extra-curricular activities.  And she lived through it, became a better mother and wife, and decided to write a book about it:  Just Too Busy – Taking Your Family On A Radical Sabbatical.

I know what you’re thinking.  I’m not that radical.  I could never do it.  My family would hate me.  Our lives revolve around The Schedule.

Don’t worry, I was thinking the same thing.  In fact, I’m not here to suggest that every family should drop out of activities for a year.  And Joanne Kraft doesn’t suggest that either.  Your radical sabbatical will probably look different than mine or hers.

In my case, after reading Just Too Busy, my family took a much-needed 2-week vacation with no TV and internet.  And let me tell you, that was a big step for my ever-loving media addicts (hubby included!).  For me, it’s about taking small steps.  And Just Too Busy gave me the inspiration I needed, plus plenty of ideas to chew on.

I don’t want to give the book away because I want you to buy it on Amazon.  What I will say is that Just Too Busy game me some serious perspective.  In fact, I’d love to give you my copy – just leave me a comment to enter a drawing.

Do you need some perspective?  Do you feel like the train has left the station and you can’t find the emergency brake?  Are you ready for a radical sabbatical?  What are you waiting for?

Too Busy To Pray? I’m Not Buying It!

“I just can’t find time to pray.  I’m just too busy!”

Does this sound familiar?

Well, I’m not buying it!

Don’t get me wrong, I understand we’re all busy.  We’re overworked, undervalued, and downright exhausted.  Our kids are running us around from band practice to soccer fields. We’re already getting up too early. Staying up too late.

And if you’re like me, you’ve given God every excuse in the book. 

I need the extra sleep.

I’ll pray more when my schedule changes.

I'll do it tomorrow.

I’m too tired.

You already know what I’m thinking God, why do I have to tell you?

I pray when I tuck my kids in at night.  Doesn’t that “count”?

Fortunately, God isn’t keeping score.  Which frankly makes me want to pray all the more.  But that’s not the only reason I want to pray.  You see, I’m convinced that the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Which is why this month, I want to talk about prayer.  And I don’t just want to talk about it, I want to do something about it.  Better yet, I want you to join me. 

I’m tired of the same old excuses.  Aren’t you?

So, what’s your excuse when it comes to prayer?  Are you too busy?  Too tired?  Or maybe you just need a fresh start?

[Join me next Monday when I talk about the power of a Prayer Maven!]

The Church Doesn’t Like Me!

Did you ever feel like you don’t fit in the church?  Like you can’t find anything in common with the people around you?  Maybe you’ve tried, but you just can’t seem to connect.

You’re not alone.

An old friend I’ll call “Kate” stopped over last weekend.  I could tell she was upset.  Things at home were going well, her practice was booming, and she looked great.  So, what was the problem?

“No one in my church likes me!” she exclaimed.  “I just don’t fit in.”

Kate is a brilliant physician.  Like me, she has three young kids and a husband who frequently holds down the fort.  Like me, she probably works too much.  And like me, she’s had a hard time figuring out her place in the church. 

Kate doesn’t have time for weekly Bible studies.  She’s not involved in after-school activities.  She doesn’t help with carpool or put together prayer chains.  And she feels like her peers in the church have written her off – that she doesn’t have anything to contribute.

But Kate has much to contribute.

She spearheads cutting-edge medical research.  She interacts with the public and influences families regarding their health care choices.  She loves Jesus, and she’s raising her children to do the same.  She just needs some help in the process.  She needs people who will come along side her, accept her for who she is, and welcome her into community.

Don’t give up on the church Kate!  The church needs you.  And you need the church.


Maybe you know a Kate.  Maybe you’re like Kate. 

Have you ever felt out of place in the church?   You may think you have nothing to contribute when, in fact, you’re needed.  Desperately.

Are You Ready For A One-Star Review?

It’s no fun getting a one-star review on Amazon.  What’s worse?  Having your 10-year-old son read it in front of you.

When Nick looked up, he was fighting the tears.  Trying to stay strong.  Trying to act like it didn’t matter.

Then he gave his own critique.

“You know, Mom, some of this is probably true.  But, you know what really upsets me?  She didn’t criticize your book.  She criticized you.  And she doesn’t even know you.”

[To continue reading, join me here at the Wordserve Water Cooler.]

I’m Not The Room Parent!

It’s Working Mommy Wednesday.  The school year is in full swing.  And I can barely keep up.  Parent homework.  Forms. Packing lunches. Juggling schedules. School fundraisers. Snack duty. More forms. 

Not to mention my kids’ multiple after-school activities.  It’s simply exhausting.

Remember when we were kids – and we actually did our own homework?  Today, it’s impossible for parents to keep up. 

I know, I know.  It’s good for parents to be involved.  But let’s think about life when we were kids.

• My parents never had to check my homework every night or sign a “homework log.”  I had to do it myself. 
• My parents never got involved in school fundraisers.  I went door to door and sold candy bars (ok, maybe they bought a few bars from me). 
• My parents didn’t drop me off in front of the school or walk me to my classroom.  I took the bus.  
• My parents never volunteered in my classroom.  (No, my mom wasn’t the room mother.)

And I wasn’t neglected a bit.  I had more love at home than I could have asked for.  But school was school.  And home was home.

What happened to those lines?

Parents, are you a bit overwhelmed by the demands of school?  Do you think our kids would be more independent if we were less involved?  Or am I just over-reacting a bit?

Worried About What People Think?

Sometimes, I worry too much what people think.

As a working mom, I worry that other moms will think I'm too career-oriented.  That I'm not focused enough on my family.

As a lawyer, I worry that if I talk too much about my kids (and constantly showcase my darling pictures and stories) business-minded folks won't think I'm a top-notch lawyer.  Instead, they'll associate me with "mommy" brain.

Case in point, I've recently wondered whether driving my mommy mobile is a career limiting gesture.  My wagon is scratched, worn, and dented (I’ve never pretended to be a skilled driver), but it has also survived the stains, pains, and drains of three small children. 

Which has recently caused me some embarassment.

I was visiting a high-profile client at his office.  After the meeting he asked, “Hey, I hope it isn’t a bother, but I was hoping you could give me a ride to the dealer.”

My heart sank.

Did I mention that I also use my car as a second office?  Since the passenger side is usually empty, I always have papers and trash sitting next to me.  And I always spill my coffee, which is why there are multiple stains in the front seat and carpet.

“Of course you can have a ride," I replied. 

He got into the front seat, and I just couldn’t find the right words.

Please excuse the stains, I can assure you they are old and don’t contain live bacteria. 

Despite the dents on the passengers’ side, I’ve never hit another car – just my garage and inanimate objects.

I’m really a much better lawyer than driver.

I’m due for a new car, but I just haven’t make up my mind.  There are too many options.

Nothing sounded quite right.

And I don’t know what bothered me more – the fact that he was riding in my mommy mobile, or the fact that I was so worried about it. 

Do you ever get caught up worrying about what people think?

Have The Sunday Night Blues?

Do you get the Sunday night blues?  The weekend is over.  The laundry still isn't done.  The alarm clock will be screaming tomorrow at an hour too early.

This Sunday, I was starting to feel pretty sorry for myself.  I had just come off a funeral and the tenth anniversary of 9/11 haunted me all day.  Especially since I’m heading to New York in the morning.

The last thing I want to do is jump on a flight, Lord. 
 
As I put the girls to bed, they hugged me extra tight.

“Why do you have to leave in the morning?  Why can’t you stay home with us?”

I just need more time with them, Lord.  It’s so hard to leave.

I fought back tears as we opened our devotional together. 

And God spoke.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:34

The words cut to my heart. 

Sometimes, God does that.  He speaks to me loud and clear.  His words are like healing balm to my fresh wounds, and I’m thankful for today.  For tonight.  For this moment.  And this moment is so lovely that I have to stop and catch my breath.

In the midst of my revelation my 5-year-old bellowed, "You're going to be alright, Mom.  You've got to face your fears!"

Where the heck did that come from?

It's all part of the grace of this moment.

Tomorrow?  Well, as Mark Twain once said, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” 

Do you find yourself preoccupied with tomorrow instead of embracing this moment?

What Ruins Your Day?

My cell phone died an unexpected death.  Yesterday.  I won’t give you the gory details, but let’s just say it’s lying on a highway somewhere along Route 315.

And it really upset me.  I mean it really ruined my day. 

I was grumpy.  I was irritable.  I felt lost and disconnected.

All because of a stupid phone that can be replaced!

But that was yesterday.

Today, I’m headed out of town for a funeral.   Three young boys don’t have a mother anymore.  It’s unexpected.  It’s tragic.  It’s unexplainable.

A mother can’t be replaced.

So I’ve had a bit of a paradigm shift.  You see, I have much to be thankful for – including three beautiful children I can hold tonight – and I really don’t care anymore about my cell phone.  And I’m pretty embarrassed that I let it ruin my day.  (Yeah, I even had to apologize to my kids this morning.)

What silly things have you let ruin your day lately?

Has God Forgotten About Your Resume?

Do you wish you had a different job?  Do you think you are uniquely qualified – maybe even called by God! – to do something else?  


You’re not alone. 


I know, lots of people feel this way.  What’s the big deal?


Here’s the big deal.  Did you know that the Apostle Paul – arguably the most effective New Testament figure – likely had these same thoughts?


Check this out.


In Acts Chapter 22, Paul tells how he first responded when God told him he was going to be sent away to the Gentiles.



God:  "Leave Jerusalem immediately, because the people here will not accept your testimony about me."


Paul:  "These people know that I went from one synagogue to another to imprison and beat those who believe in you. And when the blood of your martyr Stephen was shed, I stood there giving my approval and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him."


Paul was probably thinking to himself:  Wait a minute, I’m uniquely cut out to work in Jerusalem, remember? After all, I have been an insider.  I know the ropes.  I understand the culture.  I have even walked in the shoes of those who persecute Christians.  I can make a difference right here!  I’m the guy to do it.


God's response?  "Go; I will send you far away to the Gentiles."


Did God forget about Paul's resume? 


After all, why would God send a highly-qualified insider out of his home territory to a place where he has nothing in common with the culture, geography, or religion of the people?


It’s like sending someone who has worked his way up Wall Street to run a soda pop stand in Ohio.


It's like sending a Republican to Berkley. 


It’s like sending a surfer dude to the desert.


It’s like sending Pastor Eric from the Ivy League to North Dakota (and then to Ohio!)


You get the point.


Maybe you've even told God, “Hey, you must have made a mistake here.  I'm meant to do something much more important.  What about my resume?”


I've even wondered, does God just like to mess with us?  Does he like to pull a fish out of water? 


Or, like Paul, could it be that he has something bigger – maybe something even BETTER – for our futures? 


[This post was inspired by Pastor Eric’s 8/28/11 sermon at Upper Arlington Lutheran Church.  You can download it here.]

Too Busy (Not!) To Read With Your Kids

Let’s face it, we have to work hard (and use some creativity) to maintain strong relationships with our children.  Especially as they grow older.  What was “cool” last year might not maintain their interests this year.

And here’s our greatest challenge.  Time.  If you’re like me, you have plenty of ideas, but you’re weak on execution.  You have plenty of distractions.  Plenty of excuses.  Many of these excuses are even legitimate (like your day job!).

One answer to this dilemma?  Books.

Nick (my 10-year-old son) and I both love to read.  So I told him to pick out some books for me this summer.  His choice.

Now, before you give me the “I don’t have time” lecture, please save it.  You have time to read.  Really.  You can read when your kids are sleeping, when you can’t sleep, when the rest of your family is zoned out in front of the TV, or even in the bathroom.  Been there. Done that.  It’s doable. 

This summer, I started with Gregor the Overlander (one of Nick’s favorites) and was quite taken with Suzanne Collins so I wanted to see what The Hunger Games was all about.  (I loved it, by the way, but decided Nick can wait to read it until he’s a bit older.)

Then, following Nick’s lead, I read The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring.  Little did I know, I would become a J.R.R. Tolkien groupie (I’m waiting to read The Two Towers as soon as Nick finishes).

The good news?  Nick and I have uniquely bonded.  (So what if the rest of the family thinks we’re crazy when we talk about magic rings, hobbits, elves, and journeys to Mordor.) 

It’s about establishing a new connection.  Getting in their world.  Starting a dialogue. 

How do you nurture that connection with your growing children while a million other things are competing for your time and energy?

Have you tried reading lately?

Faking The Pain – (Part 4 of 4)

Sometimes, we pretend like the more spiritually “mature” we are, the less pain we feel.  Granted, we use over-spiritualized language and make those around us feel foolish – even sinful – for walking in pain.  See if this sounds familiar.

“If you are really following God, you won’t base your happiness on circumstances.  If you start putting your hope in God alone, he will take away your pain.”

Really?

And where does God promise to “take away” our pain if we just have enough faith?

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that God is a healer and a comforter. I believe that He takes great delight in meeting us right where we are.  I just start getting nervous when Christians start claiming that you just need to have more “faith” and the pain will go away.

Sometimes, it doesn’t work that way. 

Did the Apostle Paul feel “happy” about the thorn in his side?  Did he lack “faith” when he begged God to take it away?

Did Jesus dismiss the excruciating pain as he hung on the cross?  Would the pain have gone away if he just had more “faith”?

I think not! 

For reasons I will never understand this side of heaven, God purposes to use pain.  In fact, sometimes it appears that pain alone can produce the kind of enduring strength that most of us long for.

So why do we think we are entitled to a “pain free” existence?  

Could it be that pain is for the strong?

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[For those of you who have followed the "Faking the Pain" series, many thanks.  Thanks especially for your private notes and emails.  No more faking the pain around here, ok?]