Wednesday Woman: The Bleeding Woman With Faith (and Fear)

I used to think that having faith meant you’re not afraid.  After all, if I really trust God, I won’t live in fear, right?

Then I read the story of the bleeding woman.  Yes, she had faith.  But she was also scared to death.

She had a hemorrhage for twelve years.  The doctors only made her worse.  And Jesus was her only hope.  So she reached out and touched his cloak in a crowd of people thinking,

If I just touch His garments, I will get well. (Mark 5:29)

Immediately, she was healed.

What recently struck me about the story – I had previously read it many times before – is that, despite her faith, she was still afraid.  When Jesus inquired, “Who touched my garments,”  she didn’t raise her hand and jump up and down.  She didn’t say, “Yippee, it was I Lord.” 

Even after she was healed, she was still afraid.  She was even trembling:

But the woman fearing and trembling, aware of what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. (v. 34)

Did Jesus hold her fear against her?  Hardly.  Instead, he applauded her faith:

“Daughter, your faith has made you well.”

I’m thankful that faith and fear are not mutually exclusive.  In fact, I think they might even go together.  After all, if we’re going to ask God for something big – like changing a circumstance, opening a door that is locked shut, or healing an illness – we’re going to have to face our fears head on. 

If Jesus were standing right in front of you, would you be afraid?  Would you be trembling?  I know I would be.

But, the better question is, like the Bleeding Woman, do you have the faith to touch his garment?

This Wednesday, I’m praying for all of you out there who are reaching out and touching his garment.  And I'm praying for those of you who need the faith to do so.  I’m right there with you.  Sure, I’m afraid.  But let’s not miss out on a miracle.

Tuesday Tip: Dealing With Negative Feedback

If you write (and you decide to go public), you’re going to get your share of reactions.  Some of them will be good.  And, as I’ve recently learned, some of them will be not so good.

Most of us are pretty good at dealing with positive feedback.  But negative feedback?  Not so much.  As much as we say it doesn’t matter, negative comments always hurt – especially when they’re personal.

So, from a first-time author who’s only had one book released for a month, here are 10 tips I’ve learned so far.

1.  It goes with the territory.  If you are going to write a book, expect it.  No one is exempt from criticism.  (And, if people are talking about your book, at least they’re reading it!)

2.  Consider the source.  Who is making the comment?  Is it a random blogger who doesn’t even have an identifiable profile?  Is it someone outside your target audience?  Or, is it a credible voice in the writing community, or a leader from an audience you intend to reach?

3.  Don’t strike back.  As tempting as it is to respond to every comment, don’t.  In most cases, it’s not worth trying to “set the record straight.”  Especially if the attacks are personal, resist the temptation to join the mud-slinging.

4.  Learn from it.  Is the comment valid?  Does it present a common message or theme?  If so, you can become a better person (and a better writer) by taking the comment to heart. 

5.  Seek wisdom.  Talk to the friends and colleagues you respect in the writing community.  After all, when you’re in the midst of receiving criticism, it’s hard to be objective.  Sometimes, you need a lens.  In my case, I went to Rachelle Gardner, who gave me some great insights, as well as some helpful posts.

6.  Seek support.  In addition to seeking wisdom from those in the writing world, we all need our family and friends – especially those outside the writing world – to keep us sane.  My niece, Laura, wrote me a prayer last week that I will hold dear forever.  And my girlfriends will gladly take my side on just about anything!

7.  Don’t take it personally.  Usually, those criticizing you don’t know you.  Take the constructive feedback, and leave the personal attacks at the door.  And, as several wise friends have reminded me, God alone knows your heart. 

8.  Find the silver lining. I was putting my 9-year-old son, Nick, to bed last week, and I told him that a few women who read the book had attacked my busy lifestyle—questioning whether I could really be a good mother.  He said, “wow, that’s really mean.”  But then he said, “I think they are giving you a compliment.  What they’re really saying is that they know they have it easier than you.”  (See Romans 8:28.)

9.  You can’t please everyone.  Everyone isn’t going to like your book.  Everyone isn’t going to like you.  As writers, our goal in life should not be to please everyone.  Can you think of a single writer you respect who has both intended and succeeded to be a universal people pleaser?  Even if it you wanted to achieve this goal, it’s not possible.

10.  Numbers 1-9 are easier said than done.  As much as my head knows that the above tips are true, my heart still wants to wallow in self-protection and even a little pity.  I know full well that I can only respond to criticism through the grace of God – with much patience, prayer, and practice.  The fact is, I’m not very good at it, but I’m getting better. 

Please help me refine my tips -- I have a feeling I’m going to get to practice these tips over and over again!

How do you deal with negative feedback?

(After writing this post, I continued to find more helpful tips -- such as a post by Laura Boggess, Wanted:  Friendly Reader, at High Calling Blogs.)

No Risk, No Reward

I’ve always admired people who take risks.  What kind of risks am I talking about?  It varies.

Some people take physical risks.  Jumping out of an airplane.  Riding a motorcycle.  Undergoing an experimental medical treatment.  Traveling to a foreign country in political turmoil.  Protecting others in the line of duty.

Other people take personal risk.  Starting a business.  Investing your savings to pursue a dream.  Going back to school and leaving a stable career.  Taking a stand for your faith.  Choosing to forgive, even though it hurts.

I had never really thought of writing as risky business.  But that’s exactly what it is. 

Just last week, I was feeling a little sorry for myself.  I had just read a few negative reviews about Chasing Superwoman from the blogging community.  One of them said that I have no balance and even feels sorry for me and my family!  Another review said, again, that my lifestyle is completely out of control and even questioned my shaky prayer life.

I guess I was prepared for the genuine (and expected) attacks about my writing and message.  I just wasn’t prepared for the personal attacks on my character.

Then, at the suggestion of my agent, I read a post by Mary DeMuth, A Risky Gift, that put everything in perspective.  Mary writes about the risks she took when she wrote her own memoir, Thin Places:

With my memoir Thin Places, I've felt the deepest fear, the longest worry of any book I've ever released. I felt naked when it released. I feel exposed when folks email their own stories of tragedy. I've risked and wondered if that risk was necessary. But then I realize that my story--my painful, redeemed story--is my gift to readers. It's a risky gift, one that I wrote so that others wouldn't feel alone anymore. (Emphasis added.)

Like DeMuth, I’m feeling pretty naked right now.  I’ve realized that, in putting myself “out there” I’ve taken a big risk.  I’ve even wondered if the risk was necessary.  After all, I have a incredible family, a great career – a life with much predictability and stability.  Why rock the boat?

In simple terms:  No risk, no reward.

I’ve realized that a “risky gift” is something that costs us.  In DeMuth's words, “[s]omething that worries us at night, makes us tremble in the day.”

Have you ever taken a risk that kept you up at night?  And was it worth the reward?

Lessons From TV Debut - Pray First!

Have you ever been so excited that you forgot to pray? I almost learned that lesson from my TV interview on Channel 4, our local NBC affiliate.

The morning of the interview, I was really nervous. What are you supposed to wear on TV? I went to put on a red blazer and Doug remarked, “That’s too bright, you better wear something else.”

Thanks honey for all the helpful input.

I opted for a plain black dress. Rather than staining my teeth with more coffee, I got out the whitening strips from my dentist. What we do for vanity.

It was raining, which meant my hair would transform into a ball of frizz the moment I stepped outside. This called for extra hair gel. I caked it on liberally, along with some extra make-up. After whining my teeth, I decided to make a green shake for breakfast. If I didn’t have my usual dose of caffeine, at least I would have energy.

When I got to my office, I was really missing my coffee. I went into the bathroom and noticed I had hair gel all over the side of my dress. Worse yet, I had spinach in my teeth from the green shake. So much for vanity.

I called my friend Cheryl, and she prayed for me over the phone. Then I called my secretary, Larriane. “Help, I need some coffee. I don’t care if my teeth are brown, I need some caffeine quick.”

After getting some work done (and some coffee), I headed to the studio around 11:00 a.m. From there forward, everything went smoothly. The team at Channel 4 was fantastic, and they even posted the link to my book on their website.

Of course, after an interview there are always things you wish you had done differently – things you wish you would have known (like where the camera was) and things you wish you would have said. When I got home, my kids were thrilled to see me, but Abby blurted out -- “You should have said our names on TV!”

Next time, I’ll try to remember to say their names. The most important lesson I learned? It wasn't the coffee, the hair gel, or the whitening strips. The most important lesson was to pray first!

Have a good weekend!

All Mothers Work

Who has it easier, a mother who stays at home full time, or a mother who works outside the home? Actually, I should probably be asking a different question -- who has it harder. Motherhood is hard work, no matter how you slice it.

Since the release of Chasing Superwoman, I’ve been asked on a few radio interviews, “What do you have to say to stay-at-home moms?  Does your book say anything to them?”

The short answer is that all mothers work. And we don’t just work, we work hard. Instead of focusing on the differences between stay-at-home mothers and mothers who work outside the home, I often wish we could focus on what we have in common. And in Chasing Superwoman, I try to do just that.  Sure, I am writing from the perspective of a mother who works outside the home.  But all mothers can relate to the pressures, insecurities, and faith struggles of raising young children.  In fact, stay-at-home moms arguably deal with the Superwoman complex all the more.  They feel like everything at home has to be perfect.

The highlight of my week has been the following email I just received from a stay-at-home mom and dear friend who just finished the book.

                                               **********
“I know your frame of reference is the working mom, but I can assure you that as a mom who doesn't work, my issues and insecurities are the same. You give such a breath of realism and authenticity to the struggles mothers have today.” (Emphasis added.)

I can’t tell you how much this note meant to me.  I don’t know why we draw artificial lines between mothers who work outside the home and those who don’t, but we do.  Sometimes, the church even segregates us more than it unites us – when it should be the very place where we come together.

So, instead of focusing on our differences, please join me in sharing what we have in common.  (And I’d love to hear if you have a different perspective or think I’ve misstated the issue.  Let’s keep talking about this one, because it’s important!)

Wednesday Woman: Esther

When I was a little girl, my favorite Bible character was Esther.  I loved it when my mom read me the book, The Queen Who Saved Her People.  Esther had long flowing hair, perfect skin, and glamorous jewelry.  I loved to look at the pictures of her decked out in her purple robes and royal crown.  She was both beautiful and courageous.  And the King did exactly what she wanted.

What’s not to like?

Now that I’m a grown woman, I still love the story of Esther.  But I read it through a different lens.

Yes, Esther was beautiful.  Yes, she was courageous.  But she certainly wasn’t perfect.  She didn’t exactly rely on her faith and inner beauty to get ahead in the world.  Instead, she entered a beauty contest.  And she used every worldly advantage – every trick in the book --  to get ahead.  She probably lured the King in with her charm and sex appeal.  (We know that she invested a whole year getting royal beauty treatments to please the King.)  She even hid her true identity and her heritage. 

In our day, Esther would be accused of marrying for power and money.  She certainly didn’t marry for love.  The rest of us would probably be criticizing her for getting plastic surgery and Botox.  What some women do to get ahead.  Doesn’t she care about standing on her own two feet?  Is she going to trade her identity for a man?

Is Esther still a worthy role model?  Should we be reading our young daughters the story of Esther, The Queen Who Saved Her People?

Yes indeed.  We can still learn much from the story of Esther. 

To start, Esther stepped up when it counted.  And she used her position of influence to shape the course of history.  God knew Esther would be at the right place at the right time.  When her people were threatened, she didn’t turn her back.  She didn’t hide her identity and say, “I’ll just ride out my position as queen.”

Instead, Esther puts her throne on the line.  No guts, no glory.  She even puts her life on the line.  And she does so with patience, prayer, and fasting.

Esther’s humanity shows us that God can and will ask us to use our positions of influence – no matter how we got there.  And even if he hasn’t been the focus of our journey, he’s always ready to meet us at the destination.

The question is, like Esther, are we ready?

And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?  Esther 4:14

Tuesday Tip: Ask And You Shall Receive

Since the release of Chasing Superwoman this month, I’ve had several friends and colleagues say to me, “Thanks for inspiring us to follow our dreams.”

Many of these friends aren’t working moms.  Many of them don’t share my perspective or my faith.  But they do share a deep desire to make a difference in this world.  And they all have dreams.

In my case, my dream was to write a book.  I’ve already written at length about the publishing process – I’ve known for 8 years that I wanted to write a book.  But at some point, I had to pull the trigger.  Following your dreams takes action.

Simply put, if you want to step out in faith, you have to ask.  The New Testament puts it like this:

You do not have, because you do not ask God.  James 4:2

Sure, I had to act on an idea.  But first I had to muster up the courage to make the ask.  Sometimes I wonder what God would do if we just decided to ask.  Many of us wouldn’t just be wondering about our dreams – we’d be living them.

This Tuesday, If you’re thinking about following your dreams, I’d like to leave you with one question:  What are you waiting for? 

If I can follow my dreams, so can you.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  Matthew 7:7

Too Busy For A Book Club?

I haven’t been in a book club for about 10 years.  It’s not that I’m not interested.  I just don’t have the time.  I’m what you call a book club drop out. 

Sure, we all make time for the things that are important.  And I still make time to read.  But at the end of my work day, the last thing I really want to do is spend more time away from home.  And at this stage in my life, the weekends are reserved completely for my family.

Here’s the problem.  I still miss being in a book club.  I know I’m really missing out on some great books, great friends, and great discussion.  And I also know there are many moms out there who feel the same way.  We hate to miss out, but we just can’t shove one more meeting into our schedules.

So, what’s a busy mom to do? 

Introducing:   Chasing Superwoman’s online book club.  (Click the link to register.)

Why is an online book club the answer?  Well, to start, it’s completely and totally flexible.  You can participate around your schedule.  I just finished the discussion questions last week, and my friend Ann has already loaded questions for the first four chapters onto her site.  You just have to sign up!  Better yet – it’s free!

If you’re afraid of commitment, don’t worry.  There’s no pressure here to show up or read ahead.  You simply comment and join the discussion -- when it’s convenient. 

Are you a book club drop-out?  If so, you’re in good company.  We’ll officially kick off the discussion the week of July 11, so there's plenty of time to join us.

Many thanks to Ann and Light The World for sponsoring the online book club!  (I can’t even take any credit for the idea – thanks, Ann.)

How An Old-Fashioned Father Raised Five Loyal Daughters

My old-fashioned, strict father raised five loyal daughters!  How did he do it?  Here are 10 reasons:

1.  Fear motivates.  My dad put the fear of God in us!  Forget popular psychology and studies that claim children need to be handled with kid gloves.  My sisters and I were terrified of getting in trouble – which means we tended to behave. 

2.  Fear plus love really motivates.  Fear alone doesn’t work.  But fear plus love (especially unconditional love) produces well-adjusted kids.  Besides, my father had my mother -- the queen of unconditional love -- to help him! 

3.  Process over results.  We just had to do our best.  My dad never cared about the results, just the effort!

4.  We all need boundaries.  Sometimes, boundaries are actually a good thing for kids.  I can remember a few times when I probably would have pushed the envelope, but for the fact that I had to make my curfew!

5.  Freedom earned is freedom appreciated.  Sometimes, we don’t appreciate our freedom unless it’s earned.  And earned freedom also teaches responsibility.

6.  Those long-haired boyfriends were really jerks.  When you’re young and foolish, you can’t always see what’s best.  (I never had long-haired, hippy boyfriends, but my sisters?  That’s another story.)

7.  He always respected our hormones.  My dad always gave us our “girl” space.  He never pried into “female” issues and he always steered clear of the girls’ bathroom in our home –even if it meant he had to wait.

8.  He’s a closet feminist.  My dad always taught us we could do and be anything we wanted.  In other words, “anything boys can do girls can do better.” 

9.  Fathers soften with age.  Daughters get more stubborn.  There, I said it. My dad has melted with age.  His daughters?  Not so much.

10.  He always had our best interests at heart.  No matter what, we always knew that our father cared about us more than anything in the world. 

Thank God for all the old-fashioned fathers out there.  Sure, we might have questioned you growing up, but now that we’re older and wiser, we wouldn’t trade you for the world.  Happy Father’s Day!

Thanks For Fighting, Dad

My father turns 80 later this year.  Like lots of dads, he’s fighting an illness.  And his family is cheering him on every step of the way. 

Given his physical struggles and loss of strength, is he giving up?  Hardly.  Giving up isn’t his nature.
In order to appreciate how far he’s come, you first have to understand where he’s been.  At the beginning of 2010, I wrote about Lessons From My Father’s Illness.  At that time, he was completely sedentary.  Unable to drive.  Unable to walk.  Unable to be alone.

That was six months ago.  He’s still struggling, but he’s also gained strength.  He got rid of his wheelchair.  He’s in intense physical therapy three times a week.  He’s driving again.  And he looks forward to the day he will get back on the golf course.

Yes, he’s still frustrated that his body won’t move as fast as his brain.  But he has hope.  And he’s gaining back some independence. 

Just this week, I've heard from many fathers who are battling illness – brave fathers who are standing strong for their families.  One father I know just suffered an unexpected heart attack and subsequent surgery.  Another father is battling cancer.  Yet another father is awaiting test results and praying for the best.

Of course, none of us want to see our fathers suffer.  As children, we’re used to our fathers taking care of us.  But even through their illnesses, our fathers keep teaching us about life.  Don’t give up.  Stay positive.  Tomorrow will be better.  We can’t change what’s done.  Keep your chin up. 


This Father’s Day, many of us need to thank our fathers for fighting the good fight.  What lessons have you learned from a loved one’s pain and illness?  Who can you thank for fighting this Father’s Day?

Jesus The Fatherless?

When Jesus was ready to launch his public ministry, his earthly father, Joseph, was likely dead.  For how long?  We really don’t know. 

The last time Joseph is mentioned in the New Testament is in Luke 2, when Jesus was about 12 years old.  So, sometime between age 12 and age 30, Jesus lost his earthly father.

Jesus already had to overcome the prejudice against him in his hometown.  Some of the folks in Nazareth likely questioned the propriety of his “virgin” birth.  Maybe they even considered him illegitimate.  After all, Mary and Joseph weren’t married yet when Mary conceived.  Was Joseph really Jesus’ father?

After he launches his ministry, Jesus returns to his hometown to teach in the synagogue.  But he isn’t exactly welcomed with open arms.  Instead, the leaders proclaim, “Isn’t this the carpenter?  Isn’t this Mary’s son…”  (Mark 6:3)

In a male-dominated society, the fact that they referred to him as Mary’s son speaks volumes.  Jesus was on his own, without a “man” of the family to support or defend him. 

In human terms, Jesus knew what it was like to be fatherless.  He feels our pain when our earthly fathers let us down.  And no matter how wonderful our earthly fathers may be, they can never be perfect.  They can never take the place of our Heavenly Father.

Jesus shows us, in spiritual terms, what it means to be in perfect relationship with our Heavenly Father.  And what a better time than Father’s Day to restore or renew that relationship.

What does it mean to you to know that your Heavenly Father is fully able to meet your needs, regardless of the imperfections of your earthly father? 

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  Psalm 68:5

Daddy’s Girl

When my 4-year-old Abby wakes up in the morning, I greet her and say, “Good morning sweetheart.”
Her response?  “Where’s Daddy?”  Every time.

Abby is what you call a Daddy’s Girl.  In her world, Daddy rocks.  He can do anything.

Mom?  Not so much.

Never mind that I dress her, feed her, read her books, and put her to bed.  Daddy is fun.  Daddy lets her eat junk.  Daddy lets her sit in a booster seat instead of a car seat.  Daddy lets her watch TV.

Daddy this.  Daddy that.  It’s really quite exhausting.

Last week I was taking Abby to preschool.  (Daddy usually takes her.)  During our 10-minute drive, she constantly moaned, “I want Daddy.”  Then she started criticizing my driving.  “Daddy usually goes that way, not this way.” 

Just what I need.  Another back seat driver.


When I walked her into school, her teachers exclaimed, “Her daddy usually spins her upside down five times before he says goodbye.  He’s kinda started a tradition.”

I didn’t want to disappoint them all, but I wasn’t about to spin her upside down.  I’d probably twist my ankle in my high heels and drop her on her head.  No thanks, I’m not Daddy.

I have other qualities she’ll eventually appreciate.  Wait until her hormones kick in.  Wait until she wants to go shopping.  Wait until her first boyfriend appears on the scene and her beloved Daddy chases him away. 
(Besides, my 6-year-old Anna already thinks I’m the bomb, so my ego isn’t completely bruised.)

For now, I’m happy to let Abby be Daddy’s Girl.  After all, how many little girls get a chance to have their daddies as their heroes?

Father’s Day Is Around The Corner!

Now that Father’s Day is around the corner, I plan to write more about fathers.  That’s right the guys are taking over!   (Ok, not really.  Maybe for a week or so.)

My 4-year-old, Abby, is in full swing.  Just the other day, Abby was singing at the top of her lungs “I love my husband!” 

Her 3-year-old friend, Margaret, turned to her and said, “You don’t have a husband.”

Abby replied, “Oh yes I do.  My dad is our husband.”

I told Doug later that evening, and he replied, “At least I’m somebody’s hero.”

I almost corrected Abby and told her, “He’s my husband, not yours!”  But I didn’t have the heart.  These days, many children don’t have a father at home.  According to Families and Living Arrangements, there were 12.9 million single parent families in 2006- 10.4 million single mother families and 2.5 single father families.  I guess I wasn’t surprised about the single mothers.  But I frankly didn’t realize there were so many single fathers.  If the US Census Bureau is right, single fathers represent one out of six single-parent homes.

I can’t imagine the pressures of raising a child alone.  I realize that Father’s Day isn’t a day of celebration for everyone.  For some, it can be a painful reminder.  For others, a memory of a loss.  Or maybe it’s just another day.

For me, Father’s Day is a day of honor and celebration.   (I’ll be sharing some lessons from my own father later this week.)

Today, I’m just thankful that Abby has both a mother and a “husband” who love her very much. 

What does Father’s Day mean to you?

School’s Out For The Summer!

Thank God school is out for the summer!  My kids were more than ready.  And me?  I was ready too.  I never seem to get my act together and be the perfect “School Mom.”

Homework.  Schedules.  Playdates.  Permission slips.  Emails.  More homework.  Teacher appreciation day.  Volunteer commitments.  Overdue library books.  Book sales.  Bake sales.  Lunches.  Lunch money.  Carpool.

It’s completely exhausting.  And I already wear too many hats.  But every once in awhile, the kids beg me to volunteer and I decide to actually show up.

A couple of weeks ago, I volunteered to be a “mystery reader” in Nick’s third grade class.  But when I got to his classroom, his class was empty – the kids were at Art.   Through no fault of Nick’s teacher, the daily schedule had changed.  She apologized profusely and said, “Is there any way you can come back in two hours?”

Actually, there wasn’t.  I had meetings booked solid the rest of the day.  And I wasn’t going to be able to come back and volunteer any time soon.  So I tracked down Nick during Art class.  He was surprised to see me.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to be a mystery reader, but the schedule changed.  Do you want me to pick up McDonald’s for lunch?”

“Nah, I’d rather have a grilled cheese.  But maybe you can come back and read to the class later.”

So much for being Supermom.  I couldn’t even bribe him with McDonald’s.  Later than evening, I explained to Nick that I wouldn’t be able to volunteer at school until next year.  Nick understood, but he was still bummed.

“Mom, did you ever notice that whenever you try to do anything at my school, it always backfires?  But thanks for trying.”

As Nick knows, I’m probably never going to be the room parent.  Maybe next year I’ll get in his classroom more often.  For now, I’m just glad school’s out for the summer.  Sometimes, moms need a break!

Who Cares About Superwoman?

What’s all the fuss about Superwoman?  So what if women are trying to wear too many hats and be all things to all people.  And who really cares?

This past week, I learned that some folks don’t care.  Some folks think Chasing Superwoman is “ridiculous.”

It was during a one-hour talk radio program.  A guy named Rick called in and started going off on me.  (I’m paraphrasing, but here’s the summary.)

Rick:  “I raised eight kids.  And I didn’t write a book about it.  What do you think of that?”

Susan:  “Well Rick, it sounds like you have a great story.  My own parents raised five kids, and they didn’t write a book either.”

Rick:  “I just think all of this is ridiculous.  Everyone today has to write a book about something.  So what.  My wife goes to work every day.  She didn’t have to write a book about it and claim she’s Superwoman.”

Host:  “Rick, how did you go about raising eight kids?”

Rick:  “Lots of cigarettes.”

Susan:  “Rick, I haven’t tried cigarettes yet.  My book isn’t for everyone.  Maybe it’s not for you.”

I’ll have to admit,  Rick caught me a little off guard.  But there are probably lots of guys like Rick out there who think women like me are just self-absorbed drama queens.

So what.  Big deal.  Why do you have to make a fuss over the fact that you are trying to be Superwoman?  Get over yourself.

I’m not going to change Rick’s mind.  In his world, Chasing Superwoman is silly.  But he totally missed the point.  I don’t want to be Superwoman – and, by God’s grace, I don’t have to.  But lots of women still struggle with the Superwoman complex.  After all, we’re only human – not superhuman.

When you’re live on the radio, you don’t have much time to think about your response.  But now that I’ve thought about it a bit, I wished I would have asked Rick, “Rick, do you have any daughters?  Does your wife ever feel like she has to be Superwoman?  Have you ever taken the time to ask her?”

What do you think?  Is the Superwoman complex a reality in today’s world?  Do women need to hear that’s they’re not alone in trying to do it all, and by God’s grace they don’t have to be Superwoman?  Or do we just need to get over it!

Wednesday Woman: Ruth

I love the Old Testament story of Ruth – a young widow who leaves her home country of Moab to follow the Hebrew God and care of her aging mother-in-law.

Ruth isn’t a push over.  She’s smart and savvy.  And when she arrives in her new country she doesn’t complain, “Oh, I wish I would have stayed in Moab.”  Ruth doesn’t blame God.  She doesn’t moan, “Why I am left without a husband?”  Instead, she gets to work.

Ruth gathers sheaves from the fields – leftover grain – to feed her and her mother-in-law, Naomi.  She doesn’t resent Naomi.  She doesn’t say, “Why I am stuck caring for this old woman?”   She respects Naomi.  She values Naomi.  And she cares for her as she would care for her own mother.  Simply put, when the going got tough, Ruth got going.

The thing I love about Ruth most?  She isn’t stuck on Plan A.  In fact, when Plan A crashes, she opts for Plan B.  And she doesn’t drag her feet or say, “No one has it as hard as I do. What other choice do I have?”  Make no mistake, Ruth had a choice.  She wasn’t out of options.  She could have stayed in Moab, shacked up with a Moabite dude and abandoned her aging mother-in-law.  Instead, she follows her heart and her God, embracing Plan B with zeal and faith.

Ruth goes on to meet a handsome prince.  She has children of her own – and her seed even becomes part of the line of Jesus.  Just think, if Ruth had stayed in Moab she would have missed out.  Who would have thought that a widow from Moab would go down in history as one of the greatest women of faith?

Sometimes Plan B is far superior to Plan A.  Like Ruth, sometimes we just need the guts to follow our heart and our God. 

Have you ever realized that Plan B might be want God intended in the first place?

Tuesday Tip: Talk To Strangers

I’m always telling my kids, don’t talk to strangers!  After all, strangers are dangerous.  Strangers can hurt you.  Strangers can invade your privacy and steal your identity.

The problem with my advice?  I’m not a very good role model.  My kids are always asking me, “Mom, why do you talk to strangers?”

It’s a fair question.  Besides the obvious answer -- I’m a grown woman and am entitled to live by a different set of rules than my young children – the real answer is simple:  I don’t want to miss out on divine appointments.

Have you ever met the right person at the right time?  Some meetings are more than coincidence.  And according to the book of Hebrews, some of those strangers out there happen to be angels.  “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”  (Hebrews 13:2)

I don’t know if I’ve ever entertained an angel.  These days, nothing would surprise me.

A couple of months ago, I was delayed in the Cincinnati airport.  You guessed it, I met a stranger.  Ann and I started talking, one thing led to another, and we found we had met for a reason. 

Ann is an IT specialist who builds online, interactive studies and book clubs for churches and ministry groups.  She was looking for writing content.

I explained to Ann that I was writing a faith-based book about my journey as a working mother.  I was looking for creative vehicles to promote the book.

Ann and I didn’t know we were looking for each other.  But God knew.  And I’m thrilled to say that Ann has inspired me to develop discussion questions for the book – questions that will be used in Ann’s online, interactive book club.  Check out her website – Light the World.  The online book club will launch in the coming weeks (and I’ll have a chance to interact with my readers)!

Sometimes, it pays to talk to strangers. 

Have you ever had a divine appointment? 

Chasing Superwoman Radio Debut

Today, we’ll be launching a few radio interviews for Chasing Superwoman. 

Join me at the following times and stations (EST):

7:20 a.m.:  WCBQ 1340 AM/WHNC 890 AM (Oxford, NC)

10:00 a.m (9:00 Central).:  KSBJ 89.3 FM (Houston, Galveston, Brenham, TX)

11:00 p.m.:  WNPQ 95.9 FM (Akron, Ohio)

Sure, I’m both excited and nervous.  By the time most of you read this, I’ll be through the first interview (or two).  I have to admit, while I love to talk to strangers, I can’t stand the sound of my own voice!

Think back to the first time you heard a recording of your own voice.  Mine was back in the day of tape recorders – I was about 8 years old.  I turned to my sister and said, “Is that really what I sound like?”

“Exactly,” she replied.

Surely, the Mickey Mouse voice on the tape recorder couldn’t be my voice?  Could it? 

During middle school, my speech teacher didn’t like my voice either.  He told me I had a wonderful presence, but I should never go into media.  The reason?  “You don’t have the voice for it.”

Well, I still don’t like the sound of my voice.  But it’s the only voice I have.  And it’s the voice that God gave me.  So I’m going to use it!

Do you like the sound of your own voice?  Does anyone?

* * * *
Stay tuned for additional radio and TV interviews this week:

Tuesday:  Noon WKTO 88.7 FM (Daytona Beach, FL)

Wednesday:  9:40 a.m. (7:40 a.m. Mountain) KDAZ 730 AM  (Albuquerque, NM)

Friday: 12:15 p.m. WCMH-TV, Channel 4 (Columbus, OH NBC affiliate)

Do Lawyers Have Souls?

Does being a lawyer mean you have to sell your soul to the Devil?  Is it possible to successfully practice law today and keep a relationship with God at the center of your being?  Or, do lawyers have to completely divorce all notions of spirituality from their daily work?

Let’s face it, society doesn’t exactly put lawyers and faith together.  Yet some of my colleagues are out to break the stereotypes.  They’re volunteering in prisons, giving away legal services to the poor, and even partnering with physicians to start free medical clinics with their time and resources.  One of my (unnamed) lawyer friends is even donating the proceeds every time he wins a big case.

I thought I had seen it all, then some of my colleagues started a Bible study at lunch.  A lawyer Bible study?  Who would have thought.  We meet on Fridays, and we’re studying the book of Mark.  Sure, our schedules are pretty hectic and I’m known to have the worst attendance of the group (like today, when I’m traveling), but I relish the Fridays when I can be there for lunch – when I don’t even look at my Blackberry for a full hour!

So, before you think lawyers don’t have souls, think again.  If God can use lawyers, he can use anyone!

Visit Me Today At Rants And Ramblings!

Today I'm guest blogging with my agent, Rachelle Gardner, at Rants and Ramblings.

Rachelle is the best in the business, and I'm proud to have her represent me.  Not only do I admire her for being a great agent, she's a business woman after my own heart -- she has a no-nonsense style, an incredible wit, and she's likewise juggling the many demands of career, family, and faith.  Simply put, she juggles with style.  And she's addicted to Starbucks.  What's not to like?

If you've followed my writing journey, you know that Getting An Agent was likely the most important step in the process.  As a first-time author we had to Overcome Platform, never an easy task!  I'll have to admit, I was pretty impatient during the whole processs and was more than anxious to get On To The Publishers. 

I'm grateful for each step of the publishing process, and I'm greatful to have an agent who shares my vision and purpose.  Thanks Rachelle for being my agent and friend in this crazy yet rewarding life we're living as working mothers.  Here's to many books to come!

Wednesday Woman: The Widow With A Jar Of Oil

In the book of Kings, we read about a young widow, saddled in debt and struggling to raise her sons.  When she met the prophet Elisha, he could see that she was desperate.  In fact, she threw herself at his feet and sobbed, "The creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves!"

In those days, creditors could not only repossess property – they could take human beings as collateral.  Never mind that the widow’s late husband had created the debt in the first place.  Mercy was out of the question.

Elisha responded, "What do you have in the house?"

"I have nothing in the house but a jar of oil," she replied.

So Elisha instructed her and her sons to go to their neighbors and borrow as many empty jugs as possible.  Once they collected the jugs, Elisha instructed the mother to shut the door and pour her oil into the empty vessels.

Next, a miracle occurred.  The oil never ran out.  It kept flowing.

There is so much meaning packed in this little story.  To start, the widow didn’t give up.  She didn’t tell Elisha he was crazy, or that he should instead go and arrange for her debts to be cancelled.  Instead, she demonstrated faith.  She had to go to her neighbors for the empty jugs.  She had to physically act to pour the oil into each new jug, not knowing if it would run out.  Then she had to trust God what to do next.

"What shall we do now?" the young mother asked the prophet.

"Sell the oil, pay your debt, and then you and your sons can live on the surplus," he said.

By going, acting, and trusting, the widow took full responsibility for her household and was able to repay her debt and save her family. 

When God uses empty vessels and a little sprinkle of faith, nothing short of a miracle is bound to happen!

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  2 Corinthians 4:7

Tuesday Tip: Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff!

Last summer, Abby cut her hair into a mullet.  Forget ponytails and playing beauty shop.  The mullet was with us for a good six months.  (And in case you don’t know, mullets only come in one style.)  Then, around Christmas, she pulled out the scissors again.  This time is was more of a Rod Stewart cut – the mullet, but with more layers and style.

We’ve been growing her hair for a good five months.  And last month, we finally started to wear her hair in a pony tail again.  I thought we were out of the woods, until Nick screamed from his bathroom.  “Mom, you’ve got to come see this!”

You guessed it, I found a puddle of blonde curls on the floor. 

The mullet was back. 

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  When I saw that part of her bangs were two millimeters long, I couldn’t keep a straight face.  I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time.  Of course I told her that she really needs to stop cutting her hair, but she obviously doesn’t care.  So why should I?  Sure, it’s a little embarrassing in the grocery when people stare at her hair – and then stare at me.  But people are going to stare at us regardless.  Besides, the mullet is starting to grow on me a little.  As my husband Doug describes it, “It’s business in the front and party in the back.”

As my first book, Chasing Superwoman, releases today, the mullet reminds me of a lesson I’ve written about frequently – a lesson I’ve learned over and over again as a working mom. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

In the scope of eternity, am I really going to care if Abby has a mullet?  I have bigger fish to fry!