What Prayer And Boot Camp Have In Common

Boot camp is where I meet with other women at an unthinkable hour in the morning.  We pay too much money to some guy called a “trainer” who tortures us each week with new equipment and drills.  Last week I almost passed out. 

Since I’ve been blogging about prayer this month, I got to thinking.  Prayer is a lot like boot camp.


Don’t let anyone tell you that prayer isn’t hard work.  And don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s going to be easy – that you’re going to feel “spiritual” or even motivated to set aside regular time to pray.

It doesn’t work that way. 

Like boot camp, prayer tends to be inconvenient.  Would you rather sleep in or hit the snooze button at 5:00 a.m.?  Would you rather talk on your cell phone on your commute to work or maintain discipline in silence?  Would you rather eat a hearty lunch or go hungry to pray?

It’s not easy.  And it’s not supposed to be either.

When Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, his tears were like drops of blood.  Which means he must have been praying pretty hard.  And when he asked his disciples to keep watch and pray, he kept finding them asleep!  See – they wanted to hit the snooze button too!

Some of you are moaning right now.  Prayer is hard work, thanks for that.  Brilliant. Now you really have me motivated.


Wait.  Before you give up, there’s good news.  God doesn’t expect us to do it alone.  He gives us the best trainer possible– the Holy Spirit!  And he also gives us some equipment and friends along the way.

Do you think I would attend boot camp at a horrible hour, but for the other women who are expecting me to be there?  Of course not.  This is one of the reasons I suggest a partner or a Prayer Maven to hold us accountable.  I also like to pull out a variety of tools and “equipment.”  In this season of life, I’m often brain dead when I pray, so I use a prayer list, journal, or even a script.  (For parents, I highly recommend The Power of A Praying Parent.)
 
Would I submit myself to the pain of boot camp unless I thought it would produce results?  Of course not.  When the woman next to me is yelling, “bikinis at 40!” I remember it’s all for a reason. 

So too with prayer.

We need to keep the end goal in mind.  The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.  That’s a promise from our Trainer.  Which means prayer actually works. 
  
Do you find that prayer is hard work?  What kind of equipment do you use?   And how do you focus on the task without losing sight of the goal?

Why I’m A Bible Study “Drop Out”

I haven’t been part of a women’s Bible study in years.  And I really miss it.  Which is why I told my husband, “This year, things are going to be different.  I’m going to make it a priority.  I want to do this.  I need to do this.”

So I signed up for a Tuesday night study and faithfully attended the first week.  I even had to sign a “commitment” sheet and declared I would do my best to achieve regular attendance.

The second week, I was out of town on business.

The third week, I looked at the evening calendar and quickly realized I would have to hire a babysitter or clone myself in order to get three kids to three different evening events. 

So I said to my husband,  “I think I’m going to drop out of Bible study, what do you think?”

Part of me wanted him to tell me I had to quit.  That signing up for another evening event is stupid.  That hiring a babysitter to run the kids around in the evenings is a foolish use of our resources.  And that being with the kids right now is the better use of my time.

But he didn’t.

He responded, “Do whatever you think is best.”  (It’s called reverse psychology -- and it gets me every time.)

Great, I actually have to make this decision myself.  I can’t blame him for holding me back.


I didn’t want to drop out.  I’m not a quitter, but I just can’t justify the evenings away from my family during this busy season of motherhood.  Can anyone relate?

Maybe next year. 

Does this season of life have you making some hard personal choices?

Work, Love, Pray: Practical Wisdom For Young Professional Christian Women

 

 “If I was really serving God, I wouldn’t be spending my days in high heels and a business suit. I’d find something more spiritual to do – like serving my family or volunteering at my church.  Right?”

Can you relate to this statement?  Even if you can’t, unfortunately, many Christian women can.  Most of us know a young Christian woman who is struggling to figure out how she will balance her career, family, and faith.  And she might even feel marginalized in the church, just because she works outside the home. 

Here’s my answer.  Give her a copy of Work, Love, Pray.

This newly released book by executive Diane Paddison helps working women answer the question:  Can I be the woman God intended – even the wife and mother God intended – while striving to excel in my career?

Paddison not only tackles this question, she answers it with a resounding “yes”! 

Here’s what I liked about the book.  It encourages women to stop whining and start taking action – like seeking out mentors and making smart career choices.

From dual-career families to negotiating with your boss, Paddison hits the hot buttons facing women in the workplace.  And despite her enormous success in business, she isn’t preachy or condescending.  She’s quick to admit her failures and recognizes that God places each of us in unique circumstances.

Here’s another thing I loved about the book.  Work, Love, Pray offers dozens of examples of the successes, failures, and lessons learned from other women on the journey.  Including women who have “failed” in business. Women who have been abandoned by a spouse or have unexpectedly lost a family member. Women who have lost it “all” – yet have persevered in faith to rise above their circumstances to live out their God-given talents.

The only thing I didn’t like about this book?

It didn’t exist 20 years ago.  I could have really used the advice!  In fact, Paddison has founded 4Word, a national nonprofit designed to connect, lead, and support young professional Christian women.  Check out the 4Word website here.

Who do you know who can benefit from Work, Love, Pray?

Say No To Cell Phones And Yes To Prayer!

Mobile phones are sucking the life right out of us.  Present company included.  (Yeah, I’m an addict.)

From distracted drivers to texting during family meals and business meetings, we’re zoned out and checked out way too often.

Amber Binkertation is putting her mobile phone in the trunk whenever she drives this week!

Heather Sunseri was rightfully annoyed when iPhone cameras recently dominated a wedding ceremony.

I was recently stunned by texting during a funeral.

We don’t even try to hide it.   And we need help.  We need an intervention.  Which is why – for this week – I’m going to say “no” to my cell phone and yes to prayer.

No, I’m not getting rid of my mobile phone.  I legitimately need it for my job and family.  But I don’t need to be talking while I’m driving.  I don’t need to be walking around airports with my earpiece.  And I don’t need to be texting during breakfast.  (Note to self:  I am really annoying when I walk around with my earpiece.)

Here’s where prayer fits in.  I’m going to take all that unnecessary “phone time” this week and pray instead.  Which means I’ll have a few extra hours of prayer in my schedule.

Care to join me?

Blessings From A One-Star Review

I love writing.  And I love writing about writing.  Which is why I’m posting today over at the WordServe Water Cooler.

The topic?  How I benefited from a one-star review.  No kidding.  Click here and find out the three reasons criticism can make you strong.

Have some extra time this weekend?  Check out a few of my favorite posts this week:

• Introvert Marketing in an Extrovert Market by Olivia Newport.
• Three Blunders That Can Kill Your Author Platform by Kristen Lamb.
• Three Things To Do When Your Career Hurts You by Claire Burge.

Have a great weekend all!

Why I Changed My Name

Why did I change the name of my blog?  Not to mention I’ve changed my Twitter name from @LawyerMommy to @SusanDiMickele.  Is Lawyer Mommy dead?  Done?  Looking for a new identity?

It’s a good question.  And some of you have asked. 

As you may know, I’m pretty new in this writing business.  I’m a first-time author, and I’ve been blogging for less than two years.  So I try to pay attention to the experts in the business, like my agent Rachelle Gardner and social media guru Kristen Lamb, who advise us authors to use our published NAME when we write.  (For example, check out Kristen’s post this week on Jane Friedman’s blog.)

But just because I’m told to do something doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.  So I’ve thought about this “branding issue” for myself and I’ve concluded that it makes sense to use my full name as a writer for two main reasons:  1)  My name isn’t going to change; and 2) My name is who I am.

My Name Isn’t Going to Change

I’ve been married for almost 20 years.  I took my husband’s name shortly before law school and never looked back.  A couple of years ago, I thought about running for political office and the powers that be told me my Maiden name, Moore, would be more “ballot friendly.”  My husband agreed (plus, being a private person, he didn’t want his name smeared in a campaign).

“Suz, you really should have kept your maiden name.”

Gee honey, it’s a little late for that, don’t you think!

The fact of the matter is, I’m not changing my name.  I’m Susan DiMickele (pronounced “De-Michael”).  Period.

It sounds terribly simple, but it’s true.  Lots of things in life change – our careers, relationships, goals – but our names generally stick with us.

Plus, I’m terribly indecisive.  Case in point.  In less than two years, I’ve changed the name of my blog two times.  (Sorry, I’m not a branding genius. Remember I said I was new at this?)

My Name Is Who I Am

My name is no secret.  I’m easy to find.  I have a public profile as a lawyer and a public profile as an author.  Same name.  Same person.  (Not to mention I’ve already published Chasing Superwoman under Susan DiMickele.) 

If I was really clever, I would have published under my Maiden name (or under a trendy pen name), but I’m not that smart.  I tend to let it all hang out there.  Like it or not.  It’s me.  My name is who I am.

And I thank God some things in life don’t change!

Have you ever wrestled with the use of your name for a creative or artistic endeavor?

How To Make Time For a Prayer Partner!

“As much as I would love to pray with a partner, I need to be realistic.  I don’t have enough time to pray by myself.  How the heck am I going to arrange getting together with someone else?"

Excuses, excuses.  Yes, I’ve heard them all.  I’ve used them all myself.

By now, you should be convinced you need a Prayer Maven.  And even if you don’t have a Maven in mind, you know that God will use two or three who are gathered together.

So, your heart is saying you need a prayer partner, but your head is saying you don’t have time.

My answer?

1)  We need to be creative; and
2)  It’s going to be inconvenient for someone.

We need to be creative.

I used to think I needed a special prayer room and an uninterrupted hour in my day to pray with someone else.

Note to self:  It will never happen!

Being creative means looking at our schedules and finding a few holes.  Getting up early.  Staying up late.  Praying on the treadmill; in the coffee shop; on the sidelines at the soccer game.

Now, if we are going to pray with partners, it should be at a regular time and place.  My Prayer Maven and I meet every Wednesday morning, by telephone, during my morning commute.  It’s usually only 30-45 minutes.  And it works!

It’s going to be inconvenient for someone.

Did I mention that my Prayer Maven gets up at 5:00 a.m. to pray with me?  She’s on West Coast time, and, yes, she’d rather be sleeping.  But instead she makes the sacrifice. (This is why I highly recommend praying with a Maven.  Notice that she is the one who is inconvenienced in this relationship!)

The bottom line is that prayer is hard work – something we’ll talk more about next week.  But it’s worth it. 

How will you make time for a prayer partner? 

Are you praying for that Prayer Maven?

What Makes Your Day?

A couple of weeks ago, my cell phone died an unexpected death and I asked, What Ruins Your Day?  Well, since then, I’ve had a bit of an attitude adjustment, and I’d like to ask a different question.

What makes your day? 

Is it the big things?  The little things?  The expected?  The unexpected?

Here’s an unexpected dose of grace that made my Friday.

To the gratest mom in the world!

From you dater Anna.

Dear mom,

I love you with my holl hart! Anyway, I’m so ecited that its Friyday, and I get to spend time with you!  When Nicks gone at his sleepover, and were here, we should think of something fun! Like having girls night out, or watch a movie.  Something like that!

Love,

Anna
************

What makes your day?  Just as important, what can we do today to make somebody else’s day? 

Does Prayer Work At Work?

Do you forget to pray at work?  I have to admit, I often doubt that God cares about conference calls and billable hours.  Sometimes, I think prayer doesn’t even matter in the office.  Right?

Wrong.

Ok, I’ll have to admit. I usually pray at work when I am really desperate.  Like when someone is driving me crazy and I think I’m going to jump off a cliff.  Like when I know I can’t meet a deadline unless time freezes.  Like when my skirt rips on the way to court. 

Can anyone relate?

A couple of years ago, I decided to ask God. Do you really care about this situation at the office, God, because I don’t feel like you do?  And I don’t see a way around it.  But I’m going to trust and pray.  By the way, I’m only giving you 30 days.  I can’t take it any longer than that!

Here’s what happened.  I committed not to complain and instead PRAY for 30 days about a difficult situation at work.

At first, I wasn’t sure I could do it.  I love to complain.  I love to be the martyr.  And if I prayed about it, maybe God would ask me to change.  I wasn’t sure I could live with that.

But when you’re really desperate, you sometimes get over yourself.

The result? 

In less than 30 days, I received an unexpected, unsolicited apology note from a colleague who had really hurt me.  God provided something I would have never asked for or even imagined.  God blew me away.  And I was just asking him to help me survive.

God, why don’t I ask you to intervene at work more often?

Are you struggling at work?  Try the 30-day prayer challenge.  And PLEASE let me know what happens, ok?

Why You Need A Prayer Maven

Are you in a prayer rut? Maybe you don’t have the time. You lack motivation. You have no energy.

But you really want to pray.  Right?  You really need to pray.

In addition to a kick in the pants and a healthy dose of the Holy Spirit, may I make suggestion?  You might just need a prayer partner.  Heck, you don’t just need a prayer partner.  You need a Prayer Maven!

You may not be familiar with this term, so I’ll do my best to explain.  A Maven is an expert in a particular field who seeks to pass knowledge on to others.  (For a great discussion of Mavens generally, check out Kristen Lamb’s Blog here.) 

Now, back to a Prayer Maven. Naturally, a Prayer Maven is an expert on prayer.  She’s passionate about prayer. She prays, and she just doesn’t go through the motions. She believes in prayer.  But she doesn’t stop there.  She seeks to pass this knowledge on to other people.  She doesn’t want to keep the joy of prayer to herself.


I am blessed to know a couple of Prayer Mavens, including my own dear mother.  But for purposes of this post (and the related posts that will follow), I’m going to tell you about my sister.  My sister Amy is a textbook Maven.


How do you spot a Maven?

Here are a few clues.  When Amy finds a bargain, she doesn’t keep it to herself.  She calls everyone she knows. In fact, she’ll even buy you the last pair of shoes that are on sale, just in case you want them. (She’ll gladly take them back later; she genuinely doesn’t want you to miss out.)  Amy does the same thing when it comes to food and health choices.  Once she found some luney holistic doctor and she sent me every article he ever wrote, completely unsolicited.  She’s always looking out for your best interest.

Get the point?

Ok, now translate the above to a Prayer Maven.  Amy is crazy about prayer.  Which means she doesn’t just want to pray for you, she wants to pray with you.  She’s not one of those prayer partners who gets together just to talk about herself or vent or complain.  She’s going to limit the fluff talk and help you focus on prayer.  Which makes the perfect recipe for a prayer partner.  And since God promises that where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them, you’re in business!

Do you know a Prayer Maven?  Maybe it’s time to ask God to put one in your life!


And don’t worry, you don’t need a Prayer Maven to get started.  God will honor the prayers of a regular Joe or Jane when we come together in faith.

[We’ll keep talking about prayer partners later this month.]

Good News For Coffee Addicts!

I love to finish out the week with good news, don’t you?  And this little nugget of information is music to my ears.  Coffee is actually good for you!

In case you haven’t heard, a new study from the Harvard School of Public Health shows that caffeine-drinking coffee-guzzling women have a lower risk of depression.

No, I’m not making this up!

Here are some highlights from the study:

• Women who drink two to three cups of coffee per day are 15% less likely to develop depression compared to those who drink a maximum of one cup of per week.
• Women who drink at least four cups per day have a 20% lower risk of depression than the “one cup per week” group.

In other words, it’s better to drink four cups a day than one cup a week!

I know, I’m getting carried away.  But can you blame me?  After all, it’s Friday.

Have you had your four cups today?

[I was going to blog about prayer today, but I got side tracked.  I know.  Excuses, excuses.  So I’m hitting prayer hard next week.  Will you join me?  You can bring your coffee!]

Need A Radical Sabbatical?

If you’re a working mom (or dad) you may have noticed that “The Schedule” is slightly out of control.  That’s putting it mildly, isn’t it?  If your schedule is like mine, it’s a freight train without brakes.

The train has left the station and there’s no stopping it now.

Right?

Maybe not.  Just wait a minute.  There’s someone out there who has activated the emergency brake.  Yes, I’m hear to tell you that it’s possible (even beneficial) to step back and take a radical sabbatical.

Meet Joanne Kraft.

This brave (slightly crazy?) working mother of four decided to pull the plug for an entire year on all extra-curricular activities.  And she lived through it, became a better mother and wife, and decided to write a book about it:  Just Too Busy – Taking Your Family On A Radical Sabbatical.

I know what you’re thinking.  I’m not that radical.  I could never do it.  My family would hate me.  Our lives revolve around The Schedule.

Don’t worry, I was thinking the same thing.  In fact, I’m not here to suggest that every family should drop out of activities for a year.  And Joanne Kraft doesn’t suggest that either.  Your radical sabbatical will probably look different than mine or hers.

In my case, after reading Just Too Busy, my family took a much-needed 2-week vacation with no TV and internet.  And let me tell you, that was a big step for my ever-loving media addicts (hubby included!).  For me, it’s about taking small steps.  And Just Too Busy gave me the inspiration I needed, plus plenty of ideas to chew on.

I don’t want to give the book away because I want you to buy it on Amazon.  What I will say is that Just Too Busy game me some serious perspective.  In fact, I’d love to give you my copy – just leave me a comment to enter a drawing.

Do you need some perspective?  Do you feel like the train has left the station and you can’t find the emergency brake?  Are you ready for a radical sabbatical?  What are you waiting for?

Too Busy To Pray? I’m Not Buying It!

“I just can’t find time to pray.  I’m just too busy!”

Does this sound familiar?

Well, I’m not buying it!

Don’t get me wrong, I understand we’re all busy.  We’re overworked, undervalued, and downright exhausted.  Our kids are running us around from band practice to soccer fields. We’re already getting up too early. Staying up too late.

And if you’re like me, you’ve given God every excuse in the book. 

I need the extra sleep.

I’ll pray more when my schedule changes.

I'll do it tomorrow.

I’m too tired.

You already know what I’m thinking God, why do I have to tell you?

I pray when I tuck my kids in at night.  Doesn’t that “count”?

Fortunately, God isn’t keeping score.  Which frankly makes me want to pray all the more.  But that’s not the only reason I want to pray.  You see, I’m convinced that the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Which is why this month, I want to talk about prayer.  And I don’t just want to talk about it, I want to do something about it.  Better yet, I want you to join me. 

I’m tired of the same old excuses.  Aren’t you?

So, what’s your excuse when it comes to prayer?  Are you too busy?  Too tired?  Or maybe you just need a fresh start?

[Join me next Monday when I talk about the power of a Prayer Maven!]