It's Time To Wake Up!

Do you still have that Thanksgiving hangover? The feeling like you ate too much, slept too much, and need to recharge your body and brain? 

Me too.  Fortunately, Advent has arrived – just in time to usher me out of my Tryptophan stupor.

Don’t get me wrong, Tryptophan  -- an essential amino acid found in turkey – isn’t all bad.  It helps your body produce the B-vitamin niacin, which, ­in turn, helps produce serotonin, a necessary chemical that acts as a calming agent in the brain and helps you sleep.

But if we’re not careful, some of us can sleep right through the holidays.  I think you know what I mean.

Let’s face it, December is already a dark month – the days are shorter, the leaves are dead, and the sun rarely peaks its head out of the clouds here in the Midwest.  Sure, the Christmas carols are playing, but it’s easy to walk through the shopping malls like zombies.  It’s easy to just go through the motions. 

This is where Advent comes in.  In my church, we started the first Sunday of Advent (yesterday) by talking about John the Baptist.

Who is John the Baptist?  To start, he’s Jesus’ first cousin.  A prophet.  A trailblazer. A wild man who ate honey and wild locusts.  A homeless guy who lived in the wilderness and said things like “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near!”

You might be asking yourself, What do I have in common with John the Baptist?  He sounds like a lunatic.

Maybe so, but stick with me.  God still uses wild men and woman to wake us up, especially when we’re walking around like spiritual zombies.  Sure, our 21st Century “wilderness” might look like check-out lines and traffic jams – but it’s still the wilderness. 

And John the Baptist knew a few things about living in the wilderness -- it’s like living forever in the month of December.  Day after day – everything is dead, the sun never shines, and it’s easier just to roll over and go back to sleep.  Like you’ve had too much Tryptophan.

But something is coming.  Someone is coming.  We don’t want to miss it, so we have to wake up.
 
It’s time to throw out the leftover turkey.

The Last (In Line) Shall Be First

Do you really want to do something radical?  Do you want people to notice that you aren’t just another selfish person living for the moment?  Then let someone cut in line today.

Most people hate waiting in line.  Including me.  I’m one of those people who tries to “help” the person behind the register (even when there are five people in front of me) by offering to do a price check or suggesting that we call another department or open a new line. 

Waiting tends to get the best of me.  Especially when it’s unexpected. 

Last week, I dropped Nick off for his “make-up” piano lesson -- a 30-minute wait that I wasn’t looking forward to.  When we arrived, Nick no sooner sat down at the piano when another student (and another impatient mother) arrived.

The teacher had double-booked the slot!  And one of us would have to wait another 30 minutes for the lesson to start.

So, did I do the mature thing and offer to go second?  Not exactly.  Nick had already started playing and I thought to myself, It’s a good thing we got here first.

But the other mother started ranting and raving about how she had so many errands to run, and the teacher was doing his best to be fair.  So he said, “Let’s flip a coin, and the student who wins the toss can choose to go first or second.”

We couldn’t argue with the coin toss.

The teacher flipped the coin, and the other student won – fair and square.  Rats!  Nick and I would have to wait.  So the teacher turned to the student and said, “Would you like to go first?”

To our surprise, she looked at Nick and replied, “No, I’ll go second.” 

And then, her mother gave her the look of terror.  A look that said, What are you thinking?  A look that said, Can’t you see how busy I am?  A look that said, How stupid can you be?

This sweet child  -- who was more gracious than any of the adults involved -- was now both embarrassed and belittled.  And I was started to get this yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach.  So I walked over to the piano chair, grabbed Nick by the coat and took him outside to wait.

I turned to Nick and said, “Remember, the last shall be first and the first shall be last.”

He just smiled and said, “Let’s go to Starbucks, Mom.”

Is Nothing Really Something?

I love unexpected windows.  And I don’t just open them, I usually jump right through them.
What kind of windows am I talking about?  For the most part, it’s unplanned blocks of time that I didn’t anticipate.


A couple of weeks ago, I took the day off for “oral surgery.”  I was dreading the day for several reasons.  For the record, I really hate going to the dentist.  I also hate doing “nothing."  It would be a lost day – a big waste of time!

After an early surgery, I was surprised to be sitting at home at 9:30 a.m.  And I didn’t really feel that bad.  I was too drugged to work.  No clients were expecting me to return calls.  No kids were expecting me to take care of them.  Nobody had a single expectation on my time.  Not even me. 

Wow, an unexpected window.  A free day.  A day to do nothing.


But wait a minute.  I hate doing nothing!  I know, I know, I need to get with the program.  Nothing is in.  Even a recent Harvard Business Blog talks about the benefits of doing nothing.  But it still doesn't come easy for me.  Nothing is hard work.

It's one thing to enjoy an unexpected window when you have a clear head (and a working jaw).  It's another thing when you are stuck with an ice pack and a fat lip.

So, did I just sit and do nothing?  Of course not.  I was getting really bored, so I decided to go to lunch with Doug.  So what if I couldn’t eat – I’ve never been very good at following doctor’s orders, and I was starting to get hungry.  Plus, I had to make the most of my newly found commodity.  Time. 

But lunch didn't taste very good.  I thought about shopping, but my head was really spinning.  So I went home and sat in silence.  That's right, I did a little bit of nothing.  And it felt really good.  The day went incredibly slow.  And then it was over.  And then I asked myself where the time doing nothing had gone.

I’m the kind of person that never plans to do nothing.  But sometimes God gives me unexpected windows.  And then I’m reminded that nothing is really something.

Nothing is pure grace.

I’m Worried About Bob

Last week, I got a call from a friend who had just lost his job.  I’ll call him Bob.  I’m really worried about him.

I’ve had friends lose their jobs before – between lay-offs, terminations, and down-sizings – but this was different. 

Bob got blind-sighted.  And Bob lived for his job.

In fact, Bob gave up everything for his job.  His hobbies.  His marriage.  Even his health.  So you can imagine his state of utter and complete panic when he called to tell me he had just been fired.  What was I supposed to say?

Bob, I tried to tell you a year ago that your job was sucking the life out of you.


Bob, maybe you should get on your hands and knees and beg your wife to take you back.


Bob, I’m sure this all happened for a reason.  I’ll be praying for you.


Bob, you need to file a lawsuit.  I’ll find you a lawyer.


I just couldn’t find the right words.  So I listened.

Bob used to go to church on a regular basis, but I’m not real sure where his spiritual life is headed these days.  I hope and pray that his new-found circumstances will get him thinking.  What’s important?  What am I living for?  Is a job worth risking everything?


I still worry about Bob.

Would You Get Plastic Surgery?

Would you get plastic surgery to advance your career?  That’s the question today on Working Mommy Wednesday.

This is an easy answer for me.

“No.”

Now, before you conclude that I’m a spiritual giant who is only interested in inner beauty (and believes plastic surgery is only for the vain and shallow people among us) think again.

My objection to plastic surgery has more to do with my aversion most types of medical procedures.  I can’t stand the sight of blood.  I don’t tolerate pain very well.  And most medication makes me ill.

The last time I stayed overnight in a hospital I tried to sneak out early.  The only problem?  I had a newborn with me, and it was pretty hard to keep her quiet.  So the nurses almost called security….

Sure, there are other reasons to avoid plastic surgery – like the time and money that could be better spent elsewhere (like on starving children across the world!) – but I really try not to judge other people who sign up for tummy tucks and liposuction.  After all, if I made a living on stage or in front of a camera I might feel differently. 

As much as I tell my daughters “God only cares about what you look like on the inside” the fact of the matter is we live in a society that is driven by appearances.  While our security and identity shouldn't rest on how we look, ever the research shows that appearances can affect the way people treat us (and even our ability to earn a living). 

If plastic surgery was cheap, fast, and easy I just might do it.  After all, I dye my hair on a regular basis and I’m not opposed to wrinkle cream.

What’s the difference?

My Dad Turns 80 Today!

My dad turns 80 today.  So I decided to interview him right here on the blog.  Please leave him a comment and wish him a great day!

How does it feel to be 80?

(Long pause.)  When you say 80, that doesn’t mean much to me.  I think back on my life, and I’ve had a good life.  Many blessings.  A great family.  A wonderful family.  Years don’t mean anything to me.  I have had health struggles, but I don’t blame it on age.  I’m very happy with life. 

What are some of the biggest changes you’ve seen in your lifetime?

The speed of life today is frightening.  Everyone is in a big hurry.  Technology is great, but we have too much communication with the internet and TV.  Like when we watched the miners being rescued in Chile. Years ago, we would read about it a week later.
I am bothered by how people treat each other.  There is a loss of respect.  People have forgotten how to get along and live with other people.
There have also been a lot of good changes.  Living today is very comfortable compared to years ago. 

What was is like growing up in the Depression?

I always had something to eat.  I know that my mother and dad struggled a lot.  My mother struggled with health problems.  My dad had a hard time finding work.  I remember him going out and trying to do any kind of work – fixing a car or planting a tree.  Around the mid-30’s, my father found a job in the steel mill and things got better.  WWII created work – factories needed to supply tanks, planes, and ammunition to our Allies.  Things got pretty good then.

What’s the greatest lesson you learned from your parents?

My parents taught me that family was very important.  My parents and my grandparents were always pro-family.  I’ve tried to duplicate their way of living. 
My parents were always honest in their feelings and they loved each other.

Your parents were married almost 60 years and you’ve been married 54 years.  What’s the secret to a great marriage?

A great woman.

What are some of your most vivid memories?

Dating your mother.  After retiring, going places with my wife and traveling.  Doing things and going places we always dreamed about. 

If you could do it all over again, would you do anything differently?

I would make sure I had a college degree.  I wouldn’t have spent so much money on automobiles. 

You’re Navy veteran.  What does being a veteran mean to you? 

Being very proud that I spent time in the Navy.  Doing duty for my country.  I made 32 round trips across the Pacific.  We were taking troops to Korea and rotating troops to different islands during the Korean War.  The Navy gave me schooling opportunities – I chose weather forecasting school in Lakehurst, NJ.  Even today I can read weather maps and tell you what the weather is going to be like. 

What’s your greatest accomplishment?

We have five wonderful daughters who are all happily married.  My daughters are all different, but they are all special in their own ways.  We have 14 grandchildren.  They are all special in their own ways.  I’m very happy.  I think that God has blessed me richly with my wonderful wife and family. 

Is there anything you still wish you could do?

I wish I had the strength to play golf.  To walk on the beach.  To work in the yard.  To just to have the ability to get around.

What’s the best advice you can give to younger generations?

Be honest with yourself as well as others.  Know both your capabilities and your limits.  Make sure you diversity – don’t put everything in one basket.  Don’t forget God in your life.

How did your faith become stronger over the years?

I have to give a lot of credit to my wife.  She never gave up. 

Is there anything you would like to say to the blogging world?

Be very careful.  There’s people out there who are looking for others to make a mistake.  There are people out there who looking to criticize and misuse what you say. 

**********

Happy Birthday Dad, and thanks for a great interview!  (For more posts about my dad, see How An Old-Fashioned Father Father Raised Five Loyal Daughters and Thanks For Fighting Dad. )

What Would Your Co-Workers Say About You?

When I first saw this prompt for Working Mommy Wednesday, I thought, Maybe I’ll just ask.  You know, I could send an email to my co-workers asking, “Just tell me what you think about me, so I can blog about it.”

But that wouldn’t be fair.  That would ruin all the fun.  So here goes.

My coworkers would probably say that I like being in charge.  I have specific ideas about how things should be done.  My way!  And, while I try to be open minded and listen to others, it can be pretty difficult to change my mind.  You have to be persuasive.  Expect some push back.

Another thing about me?  I can be a control freak.  While I’m all for delegation (because, if done right, it can involve me doing less work), I expect things to be done at a certain standard.  I have a passion for excellence.  And, while I’ve gotten much better at delegation over the last few years, I’m better at telling people what to do than showing them how to do it.  Training takes time and patience, and I’m not a teacher by nature.  I’m a doer.  So, unless you’re a mind reader, you’re probably not going to know exactly what I expect from you.  Sorry.

My co-workers would also say that I push the envelope.  A little too much.  I’m known to over commit and over book.  I work best under tight deadlines so I’m not going to focus on something unless I really need to.  But when I do become focused and get in “the zone”  I can be a little cranky.

Last but certainly not least, I really like to have fun at work.  And sometimes, when circumstances don’t cooperate, you have to make lemonade out of lemons.  (And then drink the entire pitcher!)  I have little tolerance for people who always see the glass half empty.

I hope my co-workers would say that I lead by example.  That I admit my mistakes.  That I’m willing to take one for the team, even if it’s at my own expense.

What do you think your co-workers would say about you?  (Maybe I need to just participate in one of those 360 evaluations and find out the truth!)

Are Online Relationships Real?

Remember when you were a kid, and you had imaginary friends?  Remember when grown-ups thought you were crazy?

That’s how I feel sometimes as a blogger.

Last week, I was speaking to a group of intelligent women, trying to explain some of the intangible benefits of my writing.

“The most incredible part of blogging is some of the new friends I’ve met.”

I went on to explain. “I consider many other bloggers dear friends.  Some of these friends encourage me on a daily basis.”

I noticed a few blank stares in the audience.

They must think I’m crazy.  Maybe I am!


After all, a year ago, I would have told me I was crazy.  You can’t have real relationships online, can you?  Relationships where people don’t actually meet in person.  Where people hide behind computer screens (where they can conveniently hide their faults and annoying personalities).

Other bloggers don’t smell.  They don’t show up at my doorstep unexpected.  They don’t put demands on my time.  They don’t ask me to help with carpool duty or bake cookies for the Election Day bake sale (yeah, I forgot to sign up again this year).

How can a relationship be real when it is completely on my terms?  When I’m the one in control? When it doesn’t involve sacrifice?

Maybe online relationships are imaginary after all.  After all, I can just turn them off with a power button.

But wait a minute.  Smelly or not, my online friendships have stretched me, that's for sure.  No one is pointing a gun to my head, yet I’m pushing myself to read other blogs, write encouraging comments, and even meet deadlines.  I’m not just pushing myself to write, I’m pushing myself to connect.  And while I probably started blogging in search of fans, the wonderful truth is that I’ve found some friends instead. 

And friends are worth it.  Online or not.

Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Yesterday, I received a really great email.  It was from a woman I had just met.  A woman who had just picked up a copy of Chasing Superwoman.

“Wow, I just read the first 20 pages and even though I don’t have small children and am not particularly religious, your writing is still talking to me!”

Why did this email mean so much? 

Here’s the quick background. 

This week, I attended a conference of women lawyers and spoke about Chasing Superwoman.  And I was pretty nervous.  What would my peers (and my client!) think about me when I opened up my soul?  Would they think I was too religious?  Even a Jesus freak?

For the record, women lawyers are a tough group.  (I know, I’m one of them.)  Which is why I was a little scared to share my story.  In fact, the woman who sent me the email told me straight up that she was initially reluctant to open my book – yeah, it seemed a little too “religious.”  (I was more than thrilled when she went on to say she didn’t find my writing to be preachy or judgmental – so she kept reading!)

Stepping out of your comfort zone usually involves some risk.  Even some uncertainty.  There’s no guarantee people will respond the way you want them to.  In fact, every time I put myself “out there” I usually have a few second thoughts.

Why don’t I just play it safe?  Why do I have to push the envelope?  What if it backfires?

I still have a lot to learn about stepping out of my comfort zone.  But one thing’s for sure.  It keeps life interesting, doesn’t it? 

In this case, I even made a new friend.

Is Ambition Bad?

I am on a conflicted journey with ambition.

There’s a part of me that likes being ambitious. I mean really ambitious. I want to be the best at everything. Work. Home. Relationships. Writing. Even play. There is a standard of excellence that inspires me, pushes me, and engages me. And that’s a good thing. Isn’t it?

Maybe not.

Sometimes I worry that being ambitious isn’t all that spiritual. So I look around me. Some of the most ambitious people I know don’t claim to follow Jesus. Some of them even think that Christians are misguided and uneducated. And I like being educated. At least I like it when people think I’m educated. So I worry some more. What am I supposed to do about this ambitious spirit of mine?

[Click here to continue reading at The High Calling]