What Is A Son?

[Nick, my firstborn, turns 10 today.  My heart is full and my hands are lifted.  I’m so grateful to be his mother.]



A Son is Joy.  He keeps my glass full.  He brings a smile to my face.  His spark quickly changes my mood, showing me the goodness in the moment and the divine on the ordinary.


A Son is Laughter.  He has that charming yet ridiculous boyish sense of humor.  He wears mirrored glasses and a shower cap in the airport.  Just for fun.  He tells silly jokes I will never fully understand.  But I still laugh.  Hard.


A Son is Pain.  I hurt when he hurts.  I watch him learn lessons and I want to intervene.  But I don’t.  I hold back, knowing that God is in control.  Not me.  I watch him grow and mature and my heart aches, knowing that I must let go.  Again and again.


A Son is a Mirror.  When I look at him, I see my strengths. And my weaknesses. I see the possibilities – the hopes and the dreams.  He brings out the best in me, and sometimes the worst.  I can’t help but stare.  I don’t look away.


A Son is a Companion.  He’s my back-seat driver, my biggest critic, and my biggest fan.  He invites me to build a sand castle.  I can't say no, even though I hate getting my hands dirty.  He’s my night owl who stays up with me late and asks me tough questions about life and faith.  He pours out his heart.  I am his confidant, and I reciprocate his trust.  


A Son is a Gift.  He has been entrusted to me for a time.  I want to give him my best, and I don’t want to screw up this privilege called motherhood.  He is a gift from God.  He is pure grace, and through my son I experience the deepest love of the Father.  

For the last 10 years, I have humbly held my son.  But he is getting too big to hold.  So instead I walk beside him and trust that the Father will hold us both.

Happy Birthday, my son. 

The Ride Home From Vacation

The ride home from vacation is always a drag.  In fact, it’s not just the ride home.  It’s that pit in my stomach that starts as the week comes to a close.  I think about reentering reality and it paralyzes my thoughts, robbing me of the enjoyment of the moment.

It will be over soon.  Why does it have to go so fast?

I sat on the airplane, worrying about the week ahead.

How am I going to get through all my emails before Monday morning? 

I need to get on top of the kids’ homework this week.

Don’t forget about the kids’ make-up tennis lessons.

There is nothing in the refrigerator.

Did I miss the deadline to register for camp this summer?

How am I going to find the time to train for this half marathon?  Should I drop out?

My mind continued to wander.

Then, unexpectedly, after some initial conversation, the guy sitting next to me handed me a copy of God Calling, a devotional I’ve intended to read for quite some time.

“Take it,” he said. 

So I began to read.  Right there.  Right then.

March 26

“What of a man walking through a glorious glade who fretted because ahead there lay a river and he might not be able to cross it, when all the time, that river was spanned by a bridge.”

Ah, yes, the bridge.  I’m so worried about the river that sometimes I don’t see the bridge.  Or the boat.  Or the life jacket. 

There’s nothing worse than fretting over what we don’t know, can’t see, and can’t control.   Predictions and possibilities are not reality.  Reality is right here.  Right now.  In this very moment God has given me. 
Would I reenter my daily routine with grace and peace or with stress and worry?

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I’m linking up (a bit late) today with Hear It On Sunday, Use It On Monday and Playdates With God.   It's good to be back.

Grace and peace to you, my friends.

This Blogger Is On Vacation!

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. ~Robert Orben

See you on March 28~!

Does Your Life (or Blog) Need a Facelift?

Spring is just around the corner.  Which is why I decided I need a face lift.

It’s not what you’re thinking.  (Ok, maybe I am a bit vain, but I’m not getting plastic surgery any time soon.)

I’m talking about a face lift for my blog!

Why does a face lift make me “feel” better?  After all, it’s the same blog.  The same content.  The same message.

But it still feels new. 

It’s like trying a new recipe. Putting on a new dress.  Drinking a fresh cup of coffee.

Remember what it felt like to get a new pair of shoes as a kid?  You could run faster and jump higher.  And my own children are no different.  Sure, they may be materialistic (like the rest of America) but I also believe something else is going on inside of them.  Something deeper.

I am convinced there is a God-given desire inside of all of us that wants to be made new. 

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Rev 21:5)

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. (Ezekiel 36:26 NLT)

Can you feel it? 

It’s that tug inside our hearts that tells us there is something more. Something beautiful.  Even something new. 

Maybe it’s time for a face lift.

Are You Living For A List (Or Love!)?

 

Which commandment is most important?  That’s what the religious leaders asked Jesus over 2000 years ago.

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”  (Mark 12:28)

This Sunday, Pastor Eric led us through Jesus’ answer to this question.

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12-29-31)

Love God and love your neighbor.  It sounds so simple.  So why is it so difficult?

*********

Two thousand years later.  I’m still asking the same question.  Except it sounds a bit different in my modern day, complicated world.

I can’t do it all God, so you’re just going to have to help me prioritize.  What’s most important?

• Being faithful to my spouse and children?
• Being honest in my daily work?
• Serving the poor and disadvantaged?
• Giving my money (or my time)?
• Taking time to rest and worship?

I get exhausted just thinking about keeping all the “commandments,” knowing that most days I fall far short.  Which is why I need to remind myself -- it’s not about a list.   It’s not about a hierarchy of do’s and don’ts.

It’s about love.

A love that gets me out of bed in the morning.  A love that fills my empty heart during quiet moments.  A love that gives me peace as I lay my head to rest, not knowing what tomorrow will bring.

I’d rather live for love than a list.  Lists weight us down.  Love fills us up.

How about you?

Winners For The Christian Mama's Guide!

Guess who won a copy of The Christian Mama's Guide To Having A Baby?

(Drum roll please)

The winners are.........

Laura Boggess and Amy Sullivan. 

Congratulations ladies!  I'll be in touch to get your mailing addresses.  Have a good weekend!

Do Online Parents Ignore Their Chilldren?

I was sitting next to a mom in a waiting room recently, watching her ignore her 2-year-old child. 

Like me, she was waiting for her older children to finish up their lessons.  Like me, she had brought her Ipad.  And like me, she probably hates to waste time sitting around and doing “nothing.” 

The two-year-old asked her for some water.  She replied (without looking up), “Wait until after the lessons.”  Her daughter continued to ask, and the mother continued to ignore, fixated on the screen in front of her.

Next, the daughter asked to go to the bathroom.  After rolling her eyes and huffing and puffing, the mother finally put down her Ipad and escorted her daughter to the bathroom.

She was back in two minutes.  Online again.

When her older son (who looked about 5 years old) was finished with his lesson, the mother barely looked up.  He started to help himself to a tray of donuts on the table next to us, when she snapped.

“Don’t touch those.  Sometimes, I can’t believe you!  I’m tired of you not listening!”

She announced they were leaving, dragging him out by the hood of his coat.  The 2-year-old followed behind.

I started to feel badly for these children.  I even started to judge their mother.  Some parents are so obsessed with themselves.  How can a mother ignore her own children and act like they are a complete bother?

Then I looked down at my Ipad. 

How many times have I said to my kids, “Not, now, wait until I finish this email?” Or how many times have I nodded my head and pretended to listen when my eyes (and my attention) are focused on a screen in front of me?

Yesterday, I read a thoughtful post from Michelle DeRusha who is giving up multi-tasking for Lent!  No, I’m no ready to go there yet.  But it did make me wonder.

Does anyone really get my undivided attention these days?

The Christian Mama’s Guide To Having A Baby: Book Review and Give-Away!

Today, on Hear It On Sunday, Use It On Monday I’ve decided to give away (and review) a newly released book.  The Christian Mama’s Guide To Having A Baby, by Erin MacPherson.



What book would you give an expectant mother?  Many of us have found books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting useful, but have you ever looked for other alternatives -- like a practical, witty guide for expectant mothers, from a Christian perspective?

The Christian Mama’s Guide may be exactly what you’re looking for.

What’s so special about this book?

Well, to start, MacPherson's writing is tender, blunt, and hilarious.  She obviously reads the minds of expectant mothers!  The Christian Mama's Guide is full of practical advice, humor, and spiritual insight.  MacPherson squarely tackles the questions that everyone is afraid to ask --especially Christians -- ranging from sex, intimacy, exercise, and alcohol. 

The Christian Mama's Guide is decisive yet not dogmatic.  MacPherson provides a much-needed voice for today's expectant mother who longs to follow God in a fast-paced and complex world -- a mother who is savvy, excited, and often scared to death!  She comforts expectant mothers with the voice of a "big sister" that has gone before them. 

I wish this book existed 10 years ago when I was expecting my first born.  While there is no lack of information for expectant mothers, there is clearly a lack of spiritual mentoring -- MacPherson takes an important step to bridge the mentoring gap for new mothers.

So, don’t you want a copy of this book -- for a friend, a co-worker, or even for yourself? 
Just post a comment before Friday at 5:00 EST.  I’ll be drawing two winners for a give-away!

Should Kids Engage In Social Media?

There’s much discussion over Michelle Obama’s decision not to let her daughters on Facebook.

And she’s not the only parent wrestling with this decision.  Well before our children will encounter other milestones – like driving, dating, and staying out late with friends -- we have to make some serious decisions about their use of technology and the internet.

I for one believe these are difficult decisions.  Writers like Amy Sullivan remind us our teens are spending almost 8 hours a day online!   But social media isn’t all bad for our youth. For example, social media has actually engaged Generation Y in politics (a good thing, in my opinion). 

But my kids are still too young to take the plunge.

My son, Nick, is almost 10, and he’s already bugging me for an email account.  I’m just not ready to go there.  (And, no, he doesn’t have his own cell phone yet.)  Yet other parents tell me that mobile phones help them communicate with their kids and even track them with GPS! 

Right now, I just tell Nick that we’ll revisit the issue when he’s a bit older.  I also give him access to my personal email account to communicate with out-of-town family members and friends. And he’s known to read my blog and hang over my shoulder when I’m Tweeting. By some parents’ standards, I’m already giving him too much access to the complicated world of social media.

So what’s a parent to do?  I’ve found that most parents fall into some combination of the following three categories.

1)  Don’t ask don’t tell. 

Some parents simply don’t want to know.

Kids will be kids.  There’s nothing I can do to, so why bother to get involved. 

Others would rather engage in denial.

My kids will never abuse technology.  They know better than that!

These parents shudder to find out – after the fact – that their daughter has been posting inappropriate photos on MySpace or their minor son has an online (older) girlfriend.

2)  Social media is the Devil.

Other parents simply ban social media all together.  They cut off access at home.  They spend money on blocking devices. They caution their kids about the dangers of the online world.  Even though the minimum age for Facebook is 13 years old, they insist that their children are 18 (or older) before maintaining any type of internet profile. 

While these parents appear extreme, the rest of us can understand their fears, particularly with the threat of child pornography and unhealthy online relationships.

3)  Get involved and stay involved. 

Still other parents – like me – plan to strike a balance.  We’re not exactly pushing our kids to join start Tweeting at age 13 (I’m not sure any 13-year-old has the judgment for Twitter -- some days I’m not even sure I do!) but we’re going to expose our kids to the online world on our terms, which means we have to get involved.

The parents I know who successfully strike this balance tend to share passwords (and friends) with their kids, implement privacy settings, and visit their children’s social media sites at least once a day. 

There are no easy answers. And, as a parent, I know I need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and try to do what’s best for my family.  (And, if I were in Michelle Obama’s shoes, I don’t think I’d let my daughters on Facebook either!)

What’s your social media strategy for your children?