The Superwoman Complex

I’ve been asked the same question over and over again.  Why did you title your book Chasing Superwoman?

Here’s the short answer.
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The Superwoman complex runs deep.  As a wife, lawyer, and mother of three young children, I’ve wrestled deeply with the tension between my career, my family, and my faith. Yes, I’ve been accused of trying to do it all. Like most mothers, I can’t say no, so I’m known to over commit in just about every area of my life, running around in circles trying to achieve some unattainable level of perfection. Sometimes, I even get in a groove and tell myself, I can do this. Like Superwoman, I don’t need anybody’s help.


But just when I think I have everything under control, I inadvertently skip carpool duty, miss a deadline, or forget my sister’s birthday. And I’m lucky if I get up early enough to get everyone breakfast and out the door on time. While I have every intention of making healthy dinners and packing sugar-free lunches, I always seem to cut corners on nutrition. I’m known to get really annoyed with my kids when they don’t listen, and I often complain to my husband, “You just don’t understand what it’s like to be me.”

Most days I fall far short of being Superwoman.  Yet I keep chasing her!  And I don’t think I’m alone.

Do you ever find yourself chasing Superwoman?  If so, join me for the Superwoman Series - we'll  be returning to this topic in future blogs.

Who Cares About Superwoman?

What’s all the fuss about Superwoman?  So what if women are trying to wear too many hats and be all things to all people.  And who really cares?

This past week, I learned that some folks don’t care.  Some folks think Chasing Superwoman is “ridiculous.”

It was during a one-hour talk radio program.  A guy named Rick called in and started going off on me.  (I’m paraphrasing, but here’s the summary.)

Rick:  “I raised eight kids.  And I didn’t write a book about it.  What do you think of that?”

Susan:  “Well Rick, it sounds like you have a great story.  My own parents raised five kids, and they didn’t write a book either.”

Rick:  “I just think all of this is ridiculous.  Everyone today has to write a book about something.  So what.  My wife goes to work every day.  She didn’t have to write a book about it and claim she’s Superwoman.”

Host:  “Rick, how did you go about raising eight kids?”

Rick:  “Lots of cigarettes.”

Susan:  “Rick, I haven’t tried cigarettes yet.  My book isn’t for everyone.  Maybe it’s not for you.”

I’ll have to admit,  Rick caught me a little off guard.  But there are probably lots of guys like Rick out there who think women like me are just self-absorbed drama queens.

So what.  Big deal.  Why do you have to make a fuss over the fact that you are trying to be Superwoman?  Get over yourself.

I’m not going to change Rick’s mind.  In his world, Chasing Superwoman is silly.  But he totally missed the point.  I don’t want to be Superwoman – and, by God’s grace, I don’t have to.  But lots of women still struggle with the Superwoman complex.  After all, we’re only human – not superhuman.

When you’re live on the radio, you don’t have much time to think about your response.  But now that I’ve thought about it a bit, I wished I would have asked Rick, “Rick, do you have any daughters?  Does your wife ever feel like she has to be Superwoman?  Have you ever taken the time to ask her?”

What do you think?  Is the Superwoman complex a reality in today’s world?  Do women need to hear that’s they’re not alone in trying to do it all, and by God’s grace they don’t have to be Superwoman?  Or do we just need to get over it!